ek aap hai.n, ek saale vo the

Film : Sharaabi
Year of release : 1984
Spoken by : Vicky (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Sudhir and his gang

This is one of the most interesting sequences of the film. Sudhir and his gang of goons accost Vicky on his way and relieve him of his gold chain, wallet and other possessions. When he goes to a slightly lower class bar - he finds that Sudhir and his gang have also come there. He goes and tells them that they are all very 'shareef' i.e. decent and good people. However, he also says that he has been waylaid by a bunch of goons who have taken away his money and his gold chain.

"ek aap hai.n, ek saalo vo the"

A la Marc Antony, he gradually establishes the fact that the goons that he is referring to and the current lot of 'decent' men are the same. He bashes them up one by one. He keeps on repeating the line

"एक आप हैं, एक साले वो थे"

But not until he has collected a lot of applause from the front benchers and the back benchers.

zindagii me.n kis kambaKht ko maaloom hai ki vo kyaa kar rahaa hai

Film : Bazaar

Year of release : 1982

Spoken by : Najma (Smita Patil)

Spoken to : Her friend (Not known)

This film stands out for some great music by Khaiyyam. Shocking that it did not get any award, though it was nominated for the best music director award. Ironically it lost out to RD Burman's first ever Filmfare award, which is another story altogether.

Najma is living with Akhtar (Bharat Kapoor) who asks her to arrange the marriage of his rich patron in Hyderabad. So they all go to Hyderabad from Mumbai to look for a beautiful and poor girl. Their search narrows downs into Shabnam (Supriya Pathak) who is in love with Sarju (Faarooque Sheikh). Shabnam's family prefers the richer patron to the poor Sarju. When they go to Shabnam's house to take her measurements for the jewellery, Shabnam starts bawling and screaming. Najma's friend is shocked at the turn of events and asks Najma accusingly

"aap ye sab kyaa kar rahee.n hai.n Najma?"

Najma responds with the very philosophical one-liner

"zindagii me.n kis kambaKht ko maaloom hai ki vo kyaa kar rahaa hai"

"ज़िन्दगी में किस कम्बख़्त को मालूम है कि वो क्या कर रहा है"

kaun kambaKht hai jo bardaasht karne ke liye peetaa hi

Film : Devdas

Year of release : 1955

Spoken by : Devdas (Dilip Kumar)

Spoken to : Chandramukhi (Vyjayanthi Mala)

This is the real 'Devdas', not the bastardised glam version of SRK and Bhansali. I am not one of those who insists that the old is the real thing. In fact this film was made over two decades before my birth and I saw it over two decades after my birth, but I will surely put it above the SRK version. If you don't believe me, just search for this scene on youtube. Both the versions are available there. Go see it. Then read this post. But if you believe me, continue reading.

Devdas's father is on his death bed. He starts visiting Chandramukhi who is a prostitute. He has also started drinking. One such night, he is in a drunken stupor. Chandramukhi tries to stop him. She says

"aur mat piyo Devdas"

"kyo.n?" asks Devdas

"kucch hii din huye peenaa shuru kiye. Itnee zyaadaa bardaasht na kar sakoge"

"kaun kambaKht hai jo bardaasht karne ke liye peetaa hai. Mai.n to peetaa hoo.n ke...bas saa.ns le sakoo.n...aur...aisee jagah se uTh kar jaane kee taaqat nahee.n hai naa...tabhii to yahaa.n paDaa rahtaa hoo.n...bas...dekhtaa rahtaa hoo.n tumhaare mu.nh kee taraf...to bhii mai.n bilkul behosh nahee.n hotaa...kucch hosh rah hee jaataa hai...hosh se kah do...kabhii hosh naa aane paaye...

Chandramukhi says, "yahaa.n aise log bhee aate hai.n Devdas, jo sharaab ko chhoote bhee nahee.n

Devdas : chhote bhee nahee.n? mere paas bandook ho to mai.n unhe golii se uDaa doo.n. vo log mujh se bhii baDe paapii hai.n Chandramukhi. Pahle to mai.n sharaab peenaa chhoDoongaa nahee.n. aur agar chhoD diyaa to phir yahaa.n kabhii nahee.n aaoongaa. kabhii nahee.n aoongaa. meraa to ilaaj hai. lekin un logo.n ka kyaa hogaa ...jo peete bhii nahee.n. aur phir bhii yahaa.n aate hai.n

If you watch the video, also watch for these great lines...

"mat chhuo...haath mat lagaao mujhe Chandramukhi...ab bhii kucch hosh baaqii hai"

"pal bhar me.n sab kucch Khatam ho gayaa. woh shaadii ke raaste pe chal di aur mai.n barbaadii ke raaste par"

lagtaa hai saarii Mumbai ke baaG noch Daale aapne

Film : Maqbool

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Nimma (Tabu)

Spoken to : Maqbool (Irfan Khan)

Maqbool is supervising the arrangements for Abbaji's daughter Sameera's wedding. When Nimma comes to the house and sees Maqbool supervising the flower decoration arrangement, she comments

"lagtaa hai saarii Mumbai ke baaG noch Daale aapne"

"लगता है सारी मुम्बई के बाग़ नोच डाले आपने"

There is a lot of sexual tension in this scene. Nimma is teasing him, praising him, complaining about him - almost all at once. All the actors in this film have done a fabulous job. I still believe this is Vishal Bharadwaj's best film till date.

Ilaaqaa tumhaaraa hai aur maiN akelaa hooN

Film: Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Sher Khan (Pran)

If you have been following this blog, then you would have read other interesting posts from this film. If you haven't, I suggest you go to the labels section and click on Zanjeer and read all the posts before reading this.

Vijay goes to Sher Khan's area in response to the challenge that he had thrown to him at the police station. Sher Khan had said that Vijay's arrogance was due to his uniform and his position. Vijay is obviously eager to dispel this notion. So he reaches in mufti at Sher Khan's joint and says,

"yehee hai vo ilaaqaa, jahaan log tumheN jaante hain? Sher Khan ab na to vardi hai na kursi aur naa hee mai duty par hooN"

And polishes off his dramatic entry with a counter challenge (in what would later become the characteristic angry young man style) -

"ilaaqaa tumhaara hai aur maiN akelaa hooN"

"इलाक़ा तुम्हारा है और मैं अकेला हूं"

jisne hameshaa pulaav khaayaa ho, use sookhii roTi me.n kavita nazar aatii hai

Film : Hum Dono

Year of release : 1961

Spoken by : Mita's father (Gajanan Jagirdar)

Spoken to : Anand (Dev Anand)

This film is normally classified as 'Drama', but for me, this will always classify as 'Mystery'. Not for obvious reasons, but for the fact that the only good thing about this film was its music. What a classic score by Jaidev! And he never scored for a Navketan film after that. Ended up being relegated to an occasional composer till his death almost 3 decades later. That for me, will be one of the greatest mysteries. I wish I could go and ask Dev Anand that question.

On the topic of the scene, this is one of those typical rich father telling poor prospective groom about how the groom's one year's salary is less than the girl's one day's expense. So Anand goes to meet Mita (Sadhna - looking slightly less beautiful than she looked in Parakh - wonder what happened)'s father for the first time. And the inevitable happens. Anand tries to convince Mita's father that she can live on 'sookhii roTi' or dry bread. Mita's father scoffs at it and says

"jisne hameshaa pulaav khaayaa ho, use sookhii roTi me.n kavita nazar aatii hai"

"जिसने हमेशा पुलाव खाया हो, उसे सूखी रोटी में कविता नज़र आती है"

shakti kaa santulan bahut zaroorii hai sansaar me.n

Film : Maqbool

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Inspector Pandit (Om Puri)

Spoken to : ACP Devsare (Murali Sharma)

ACP Devsare has been newly posted. A major shoot out has occurred in his jurisdiction. He asks the two officers PanDit and Purohit where they were on the night of the crime. They both claim they were on duty. Devsare is skeptical about their claim. He says, if that was indeed the case, the crime would never have been committed. PanDit responds with the classic

"phir to bahut baDaa crime ho jaataa sir. shakti kaa santulan bahut zarooree hai sansaar me.n. aag ke liye paanii kaa Dar bane rahnaa chaahiye"

"फिर तो बहुत बडा क्राइम हो जाता सर. शक्ति का संतुलन बहुत ज़रूरी है संसार में. आग के लिए पानी का डर बने रहना चाहिये"

The entire cold war was testimony to this adage. But we seem to be doing fine even in a unipolar world. 

ham to private company waalo.n ka namak khaate hai.n

Film : Dhoop

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Electricity department employee

Spoken to : Prof. Suresh Kapoor (Om Puri)

This film is based on a real life struggle of the father of a Kargil war hero to get a petrol pump allotted to him. It is a good film. Om Puri, Revathi and Gul Panag are excellent. The story moves along his travails with every department in getting the petrol pump. The electricity department also harasses him. Prof Kapoor tries to reason with him. He appeals to his patriotism and tells him that the petrol pump has been allotted due to compassionate reasons. But the cynical electricity department employee responds with

"is desh ka namak nahee.n khaate ji ham. ham to private company waalon ka namak khaate hai.n"

"इस देश का नमक नहीं खाते जी हम. हम तो प्राइवेट कम्पनी वालों का नमक खाते हैं"

I feel Tata missed a great in-film branding opportunity here!

itnaa runway ho gayaa, ab take off karo

Film : Johny Mera Naam

Year of release : 1970

Spoken by : I S Johar (as Dooja Ram)

Spoken to : Unknown actor (Premnath's goons)

Dialogue writer : Vijay Anand

I S Johar plays a triple role in this film. Not a father, son, grandson kind of triple role. These are three brothers - Pahlaa Ram, Dooja Ram and Teeja Ram. Pehla Ram is a palmist. Dooja Ram is an Indian Airlines steward. In a case of mistaken identity, Moti (Pran) thinks that Dooja Ram is Teeja Ram - his bar man. When his drink takes a long time coming, Moti thinks Teeja  is pulling a fast one. His boss Bhupendra Singh (Premnath) sends his men to pick him up. When the goons are frog marching Dooja towards Moti, he asks them what they are doing. The goons think that he is pretending, but Dooja actually has no clue why he is being frog marched. Finally he gets exasperated and asks them

"arre, itna runway ho gayaa, ab take off karo. kyaa baat hai?"

"अरे, इतना रनवे हो गया, अब टेक ऑफ़ करो. क्या बात है? "

uskee plane ko take off karne ke liye 2 runway lagte hai.n

Film : Jaane Tu...Ya Jaane Na
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Aditi (Genelia D'Souza)
Spoken to : Sushant (Ayaz Khan)

There was a time when a heroine whose name was Genelia D Souza would have changed it to Janaki Devi for acceptability from the broad audience. And they called that India more secular. I think the new generation is far more secular than our parents are/were. Genelia's screen name Aditi became a legend thanks to the popularity of the song "kabhi kabhi aditi". But it was her unique and slightly high pitched way of speaking that probably left a greater impression on the cine goers.

In this scene, Aditi is telling Sushant that Bombs (Alishka Varde) is slow on the uptake. She uses a flying metaphor for that. Normally a metaphor is used either because the speaker or the receiver understands that metaphor better. In this case neither is true. So wonder why Aditi used this flying metaphor. In any case, mine not to reason why. I liked the line. So here goes.

"uskee plane ko take off karne ke liye 2 runway lagte hai.n...matlab...thoRii slow hai woh"
"उसकी प्लेन को टेक ऑफ़ करने के लिये 2 रनवे लगते हैं...मतलब...थोड़ी स्लो है वो"

peD par chaDha kar seeDhii kheench lii

Film : Parakh

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Pandit Tarkaalankaar (Kanhaiyalal)

Spoken to : Bhanj Babu (Asit Sen)

This is on my all time top 25 list. If you haven't seen this film, please do see it.

The Post Master NivaaraN Babu (Nazir Husain) gets an anonymous letter promising Rs. 5 lacs to the most honest man in the village. Many in the village put forth their candidature. The priest Pandit Tarkaalankaar is one of them. The zamindar TaanDav Tarafdaar (Jayant) promises to support him, but when the actual meeting starts, he favours Rajat (Vasant Choudhury). This makes Tarkaalankaar say

"peD par chaDha kar seeDhii kheench lii badmaash ne"

"पेड़ पर चढ़ा कर सीढ़ी खींच ली बदमाश ने"

mardo.n ke mukhauTe badalte hai.n, mard nahee.n

Film : Bhumika

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Mrs. Kale (Amrish Puri's first wife)

Spoken to : Urvashi (Smita Patil)

This was a film based on Hansa Wadkar's autobiography called Sangte Aika (literally translated it means - I'll speak and you listen). I found the message slightly layered, but then I am too used to the Bollywood formula. Urvashi (or Usha as she is later called) keeps running from one man to another. From the slightly elder Dalvi (Amol Palekar) to her co star Rajan (Anant Nag) to the witty producer Sunil (Naseeruddin Shah). She finally meets Vinayak Kale (Amrish Puri) and feels that she would settle down with him. She does not realise that he is already married (his first wife is handicapped) and worse while living with Kale, she cannot move out of the house without Kale's approval. She feels stifled and plans to run away to Dalvi, her first partner. Kale's first wife learns of this and tells her

"mardo.n ke mukhauTe badalte hai.n, mard nahee.n"

"मर्दों के मुखौटे बदलते हैं, मर्द नहीं"

jab tak hai aashaa, tab tak hai gogia paashaa

Film : Patthar aur Paayal

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Shankar Dayal (Rajender Nath)

Spoken to : ChhoTe Thakur Ranjeet Singh (Dharmendra)

Ranjeet is a dacoit and he has come to drop off Asha (Hema Malini) at her house. So he has this interesting verbal encounter with Shankar. Ranjeet says,

"mai.n Aasha ko chhoDne aayaa hoo.n"

Shankar says

"Aasha ko to kabhee nahee.n chhoDnaa chaahiye; jab tak hai Aasha tak tak hai Gogia Pasha"

"आशा को तो कभी नहीं छोड़ना चाहिये, जब तक है आशा, तब तक है गोगिया पाशा"

aap jitnaa bhee zyaadaa soche.n, kam hee hogaa

Film : Chor Chor

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Hemlata (Leena Chandavarkar)

Spoken to : Aakaash (Vijay Anand)

This is one of the thrillers made reasonably well, which most people don't know about.

Hemlata has realised that she has feelings for Aakaash. He is lying sleepy and ill in his room in the guest house which is owned by Hemlata's mother. It is late in the night. Hemlata goes into his room to check on him. Aakaash says "log kyaa sochenge?". She says, she really does not care about that, but what will you think? He says that he can think quite a lot and read a lot of meaning into her action. She comes up with a great one liner. I think this is one of the better ways in which a Hindi film heroine has professed her love.

"aap jitnaa bhee zyaadaa soche.n, kam hee hogaa"

"आप जितना भी ज़्यादा सोचें, कम ही होगा"

ghar ka na khaaye aur duniyaa mauj uRaaye

Film : Man ka Meet

Year of release : 1968

Spoken by : Pran (Vinod Khanna)

Spoken to : Lala ji (Om Prakash)

This was Vinod Khanna's debut film. Otherwise a very boring film. Interestingly he plays a villain in this film and his screen name is Pran. Towards the climax, Pran's villainy is revealed and Lalaji, who hitherto thought of him as loyal relative, is shocked to see the real Pran. He asks Pran why he is threatening his daughter Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar). Pran says that Lalaji is distributing all his wealth to the poor and it is unlikely that he (who has been a loyal aide and colleague) will be left with anything. As he puts it

"ghar ka na khaaye aur duniyaa mauj uRaaye"

"घर का ना खाये और दुनिया मौज उड़ाये"

ek to jungle me.n aag oopar se chaDDii me.n naag

Film : Dhol

Year of release : 2007

Spoken by : Gautam "Goti" Sisodiya

Spoken to : Himselves

This is a caper about a group of friends who move from one funny situation to another. This was a remake of a 1990 Malayalam film In Harihar Nagar which was later remade as MGR Nagaril in Tamil. Unfortunately did not do as well in Hindi. Pakkiya (Sharman Joshi) brings in a couple to live with them. The couple has actually run away from home. Goti is not too happy, as they themselves have many problems to face and cannot afford to complicate their lives further. So when they leave he says out aloud

"ek to jungle me.n aag, oopar se chaDDii me.n naag"

"एक तो जंगल में आग, ऊपर से चड़डी में नाग"

Aaj tak aisee good luck huyee nahee.n ki kisee ladies se pyaar ho jaaye

Film : Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Surinder Sahni (Shah Rukh Khan)

Spoken to : Taani (Anushka Sharma)

This was an interesting film - funny in parts - but too many cliches. Typical YashRaj cloying stuff. YRF should outsource writing and direction - else it becomes far too predictable. But the film is still worth a watch and Shah Rukh comes up with a good performance. If you watch the films do not switch off the moment the closing credits start rolling. Do listen to Shah Rukh's commentary over the closing credits. I, for one, thought that that by itself redeemed the film.

Taani plays the role of a girl who has a husband who loves her very much, but she is running after 'love' and does not appreciate what she has. So once she tells Surinder that she can't love him and if he can't live forever without love then she would leave. A very patient and 'nice' Surinder says,

"pyaar kyaa hotaa hai Taani ji mujhe nahee.n pataa, aaj tak aisee good luck huyee nahee.n ki kisee ladies se pyaar ho jaaye"

"प्यार क्या होता है तानी जी मुझे नहीं पता, आज तक ऐसी गुड लक हुयी नहीं कि किसी लेडीज़ से प्यार हो जाये"

jahaa.n dekhtee hai.n ek rishtaa qaayam kar letii hai.n

Film : Kabhi Kabhie
Year of release : 1976
Spoken by : Amit Malhotra (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Pooja Khanna (Rakhee Gulzar)

Amit is a poet and he has gone to Pooja's college to recite his poetry. Pooja (among all the other girls) is enamoured of this tall, shy poet with a great voice. When she goes to take his autograph, he starts flirting with her. He praises her eyes. Pooja asks him what's so special about her eyes. A normal person would have been cornered by such a direct question. But Amit is a poet. So he comes up with a great response. He says,

"jahaa.n dekhtee hai.n ek rishtaa qaayam kar letii hai.n"
"जहां देखती हैं एक रिश्ता क़ायम कर लेती हैं"

On a lighter note, I used to wonder (and still do) about the way the title of the film was written. Why was the first 'Kabhi' written with just the 'i' and the second 'Kabhie' is written with 'ie'. Do write in and let me know, in case you know the answer.

baap ne maarii me.nRhakii beTaa teerandaaz

Film : Prem Rog
Year of release : 1982
Spoken by : Radha's mother in law (Dina Pathak)
Spoken to : Radha's husband (Rajinder Nath)

Radha (Kiran Vairale) is Manorama's (Padmini Kolhapure) childhood friend. She gets married to Rajinder Nath and keeps him under her thumb. In one scene, Radha's husband comes in to the house looking for her. He sees his mother and asks her where Radha is. His mother is disgusted with her son running around Radha all the time. So she says

"baap ne maarii me.nRhakii beTaa teerandaaz"
"बाप ने मारी मेंढकी बेटा तीरंदाज़"

gilauree khaayaa karo gulfaam, zabaan qaaboo me.n rahtii hai

Film : Maqbool
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Jahangir Khan (Pankaj Kapoor)
Spoken to : Jaywant Wadkar (Palekar)

Vishal Bharadwaj is fast on the way to becoming one of the greatest directors of Indian cinema, if his oeuvre continues to grow the way it is. Who would have thought that after listening to the Maachis soundtrack that behind this soundtrack is such a great director. There have been actors-turned director, editors turned director, cinematographer turned director, scriptwriter turned director, choreographer turned director, even lyricist turned director. Music directors have turned producer but never director. But this is the first instance of a music director who turned director. As they say, "der aayad durust aaye".

Jahangir Khan is a mafia don. Palekar is a local politician. Palekar goes to meet Jahangir Khan and offers to remove Chief Minister Bhonsle (Shammi Narang) provided Jahangir supports him. Jahangir is a strong believer in loyalties and is offended by this suggestion. But his face does not betray his thoughts. He calmly offers Palekar some 'paan'. Palekar refuses. Jahangir beckons Palekar closer. When he is close enough he pulls his head and thrusts a paan down his throat. Follows that up with this slam dunk line

"gilauree khaayaa karo gulfaam, zabaan qaaboo me.n rahtii hai"
"गिलौरी खाया करो गुलफ़ाम, ज़बान क़ाबू में रहती है"

aam kitnaa bhi baRaa ho jaaye rahegaa Daal ke neeche

Film : Jugaad
Year of release : 2009
Spoken by : Commissioner I M Gupta (Govind Namdeo)
Spoken to : Murli (Vijay Raaz)

This is a film with a great premise and some very good actors. It was based on the 'sealing drive' in Delhi in 2007. The producer of this film was ostensibly one of those 'law-breakers' who were running a commercial enterprise from a residential area. In this film, he tries to show himself as a victim. That is the greatness of the Delhiite. He will break all the laws and will further try to prove himself as the aggrieved party if anyone tries to enforce the law. So the producer tries to tell us that this entire country is hopeless corrupt and that his act was an innocent gaffe compared to the transgressions happening elsewhere. But I will rant about Delhi and its lack of ethics later. Meanwhile back at the ranch,

Murli is Sandiip's friend and colleague. He tries to ensnare the municipal commissioner Gupta by taking snaps of the man in what the media classically calls 'compromising position'. But the commissioner is one up on him. When Gupta has foiled Murli's ploy, he comes up with this line

"aam kitnaa bhi baRaa ho jaaye rahegaa Daal ke neeche"

"आम कितना भी बड़ा हो जाये रहेगा डाल के नीचे"

ek drink to dushman ke saath lete hai.n

Film : Jaane Tu...Yaa Jaane Na
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Mahesh (Rajat Kapoor)
Spoken to : Jai Rathore (Imran Khan)

Jai's girlfriend Meghna (Manjari Phadnis) takes him home. Over dinner, Jai realises that Meghna's parents {Mahesh (Rajat Kapoor) and Sheela (Kitu Gidwani)} have a dysfunctional relationship. Mahesh offers Jai a drink and Jai accepts. This is the new Bollywood. Such a thing would never have happened even in the 80s and 90s.

A girl brings her boyfriend home to dinner. The father offers him a drink. The boy accepts. They all drink together. Even the girl's mother. Wait there is more.

Mahesh offers Jai another drink. Jai (who I think feels enough customs have been broken in one film) declines. Mahesh comes up with this classic line.

"ye kaisaa laRkaa hai...ek drink to dushman ke saath lete hai.n"
"ये कैसा लड़का है...एक ड्रिंक तो दुश्मन के साथ लेते हैं"

A lot of friendships are formed over drinks and tobacco smoke. Having been a teetotaler and non-smoker all my life, I have missed out on a lot of such friendships. Did I write 'missed out on'? Changed that to 'spared of '.

jo log partyon meN alag thalag rehte haiN, woh aamtaur par bahut ziddii hote haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Mona (Bindu)

Teja is the crime don of the city. The new inspector in town is getting troublesome. Teja invites him to his party. A lavish party with booze and fine food flowing all around. He hopes to schmooze Vijay (Amitabh) into accepting his ways at this party. There is the typical cabaret number performed

"diljaloN kaa dil jalaa ke, kyaa milegaa dilrubaa"

After the song, Teja is talking with Mona. Teja says,

"acchhe khareedaar hamesha sauda karne se pehle, doosre kee qeemat kaa andaazaa lagaate haiN"

"अच्छे ख़रीदार हमेशा सौदा करने से पहले, दूसरे की क़ीमत का अन्दाज़ा लगाते हैं"

Mona asks him

"to kyaa andaazaa lagaayaa tumne"

Teja says,

"jahaaN tak meree zindagii kaa tajurbaa hai, jo log partyon meN alag thalag rehte haiN, woh aamtaur par bahut ziddii hote haiN"

"जहां तक मेरी ज़िन्दगी का तजरुबा है, जो लोग पार्टियों में अलग थलग रहते हैं, वो आमतौर पर बहुत ज़िद्दी होटल हैं"

I could not agree more with this. I myself am very stubborn and rarely mingle well at parties.

registaan me.n phool khilaa aur tu kehtaa hai colour kyaa hai!

Film : Kabul Express
Year of release : 2006
Spoken by : Jai Kapoor (Arshad Warsi)
Spoken to : Suhel Khan (John Abraham)

Kabul Express is based on the real life, post 9/11 experiences of debutant director Kabir Khan and his colleague Rajan Kapoor. Kabir Khan retains the surnames for the two protagonists in the film. I would say it is a different film, but not something I would recommend (I have a reputation to uphold).

Jai and Suhel are having dinner in Kabul when Reuters reporter Jessica Beckham (Linda Arsenio) joins them. Jai starts telling her that they have seen a Talib. Suhel stops him from talking about it. When they leave Suhel rebukes Jai for having been indiscrete about such a vital piece of information. Jai says

"kyaa maal hai yaar. isko saath nahee.n le jaa sakte?"

An angry Suhel retorts,

"tuu to saale Tharkee hai, goree dekhte hee phisal gayaa"

Jai makes a faux-protest against this morality attack. He says,

"registaan me.n phool khilaa aur tu kehtaa hai colour kyaa hai! itne dino.n baad to laRkii dekhee hai"
"रेगिस्तान में फूल खिला और तू कहता है कलर क्या है! इतने दिनों बाद तो लड़की देखी है"

Gam to is cheez kaa hai ki paise aate nahee.n hai.n

Film : Chashme Buddoor
Year of release : 1981
Spoken by : Lallan Miyaa (Saeed Jaffrey)
Spoken to : Jomo or Jai Lakhanpal (Ravi Baswani)

Omi (Rakesh Bedi), Jomo and Siddharth (Faarooque Sheikh) are three college students who share a room and thus ending up sharing a life as well. This is one of those rare movies that is almost entirely shot in Delhi.

In this scene, Jomo is running after a girl who he has spotted from his balcony. Lallan (who owns a paan shop) catches hold of him and physically drags him back to his shop. The three room mates buy cigarettes on credit from his shop and are constantly behindhand in paying. Thus he is rightly miffed. Jomo on the other hand is trying to mollify him. Lallan says,

"nikaal paise"
"निकाल पैसे"

Jomo says,

"aa jaayenge, aa jaayenge, Lallan Miyaa, paise kahee.n nahee.n jaate"
"आ जायेंगे, आ जायेंगे, लल्लन मियाँ, पैसे कहीं नहीं जाते"

Lallan comes up with this classic line,

"abe jaane kee kaun baat kar riyaa hai, Gam to is cheez kaa hai, ki paise aate nahee.n hai.n"
"अबे जाने की कौन बात कर रिया है, ग़म तो इस चीज़ का है, कि पैसे आते नहीं हैं"

I have worked as a recovery officer for a finance company and used to remember this line often.

vo aadmii paidaa nahee.n huaa...kabhii naa kabhii jiskii neeyat naa Dolee ho

Film : Johny Mera Naam
Year of release : 1970
Spoken by : Tara (Padma Khanna)
Spoken to : Rai Sahab Bhupendra Singh (Prem Nath)

Tara is in love with Babu (Randhawa - Dara Singh's younger brother). Babu is a loyal henchman of Moti (Pran) and is entrusted with the money fetched from the sale of diamonds to deliver it to Rai Bhupinder Singh at his hideout near the Indian border.

But Babu makes plans to escape to Singapore with the money, along with his girlfriend Tara and start a new life there. Johny (Dev Anand) gets to know of it through a concealed microphone and betrays them to Moti. Moti takes the couple to Bhupinder Singh’s hideout where the leader orders his men to shoot Babu. Tara throws herself at Rai Sahab's mercy and asks that Babu be spared. Her defence of Babu's act is

"vo aadmii paidaa nahee.n huaa Rai Sahab, kabhii naa kabhii jiskii neeyat naa Dolee ho"

"वो आदमी पैदा नहीं हुआ राय साहब, कभी ना कभी जिसकी नीयत ना डोली हो"

I liked this line a lot because it reminded me of a national award winning Tamil film called "Sila NerangaLil Sila ManidargaL (சில நேரங்களில் சில மனிதர்கள்). I strongly recommend that movie if you liked this line.

Meanwhile, Rai Sahab agrees to let Babu go and takes Babu's girlfriend as his mistress. Tara realises much later that Rai Sahab actually killed Babu. Johny wins Moti’s trust and replaces Babu in the hierarchy and takes an important step towards reaching his goal, that of locating the gang leader and breaking the back bone of the gang.

bevaqoof parindaa daanaa to dekhtaa hai, phandaa nahee.n

Film : Bobby
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Mr. Nath (Pran)
Spoken to : Mrs. Braganza (Durga Khote)

This was one of the first teeny-bopper films which spawned many more over the years.

Before going any further, I must say that it is strange how we are not told Pran's and Durga Khote's 'Christian' name in any dialogue. So throughout the film, Pran is Mr. Nath and Durga Khote is Mrs. Braganza. Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Mrs. Braganza was the governess of Raj before he is sent away to a boarding school. Later, her son Jack (Prem Nath) grows up to be rich and successful in the fisheries business. After the Braganza family comes to the Nath house to formalise the relation between Bobby (Dimple Kapadia) and Raj Nath (Rishi Kapoor). Sorry, to digress. But I just saw Rajnath Singh of BJP in my mind's eye while typing 'Raj Nath'. Couldn't help smiling.

So, the two parties meet. A cynical Mr. Nath still feels there is a class difference between the two families. He suggests that the Braganza family ensnared his son Raj in their trap. He goes on to say that though Raj is his son and thus the heir to his fortunes, but he is still a kid. He is trying to justify his son's actions by dubbing the entire thing as a planned move by the Braganza family. He says,

"bevaqoof parindaa daanaa to dekhtaa hai, phandaa nahee.n"
"बेवक़ूफ़ परिन्दा दाना तो देखता है, फन्दा नहीं"

jo aadmii apne naseeb ko kostaa rahtaa hai, uskaa naseeb bhii use koste rahte hai.N

Film : Guide
Year of release : 1965
Spoken by : Raju (Dev Anand)
Spoken to : Rosie Marco (Waheeda Rehman)

Rosie takes an overdose of sleeping pills. Meanwhile, her husband Marco (Kishore Sahu) is away in the caves of Udaipur, exploring and excavating. Rosie does not die and as she is recovering, Raju goes and fetches Marco. Marco is very upset about having been called away from his passion - exploration of the caves. He accuses her of acting like this only to frustrate him. He says that if she actually intended to die, she would have taken a couple of more pills. He dares Rosie to commit suicide. Rosie runs out in a fit of anger and tries to jump into a lake. Raju, who is waiting outside, sees her and steps in to stop her from doing so. He also continues to follow her for a while, fearing she would attempt to do so again. Once the tension dies down, they start chatting and being the professional that he is, he starts explaining the view and the locales to her. He points to a small island in the lake which has a mausoleum dedicated to the king's dog. Rosie is surprised at the reference to 'kutte kee mazaar' (dog mausoleum). Raju says it was the king's beloved dog. Rosie sighs and comments that the dog was better off than her. Raju then turns around in what is now well-known as the 'Dev Anand style' and says

"jo aadmii apne naseeb ko kostaa rahtaa hai, uskaa naseeb bhii use koste rahte hai.N"
"जो आदमी अपने नसीब को कोसता रह्ता है, उसका नसीब भी उसे कोसते रहते हैं"

Guide is always referred to as a classic, though I am always reminded of the article titled 'Mis-guide' written by R K Narayan. I am also waiting to see the English version of Guide (which I am told is much shorter), but was never released in India. But then you take out Sachin Dev Burman's music from Guide, then what is left? I wonder!

yeh subah itnii jaldii kyo.N aa jaatee hai

Film : Sharaabi
Year of release : 1984
Spoken by : Vicky Kapoor (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Munshi ji (Om Prakash)

Vicky Kapoor is a motherless boy, who has been brought up by Munshi ji, while Vicky's father Rai Sahab Amarnath Kapoor has been busy in 'business' meetings. As an aid to keeping him quiet as a baby, Rai Sahab has advocated the use of a 'capful' of brandy. The 'capful' turns into a 'glassful' and eventually a 'bottleful'. And Vicky grows up as a young man to be an alcoholic or 'Sharabi'. He keeps irregular hours - wakes up late and sleeps late. One such morning, after a long drunken night, when he is being woken up by Munshi ji (the trusted retainer), he complains and says

"munshi ji, yeh subah itnii jaldii kyo.N aa jaatee hai?"
"मुंशी जी, ये सुबह इतनी जल्दी क्यों आ जाती है?"

kuchh logoN ke iraade mazboot hote haiN...kuchh logoN ke iraade tum jaise log mazboot banaa dete haiN

Film: Kabzaa
Year of release: 1988
Spoken by: Ustaad Ali Mohammad (Aalok Nath)
Spoken to: Veljibhai Soda (Paresh Rawal)

Ali Mohammad has been arrested by the Inspector (Avtar Gill) on a trumped up charge of possessing drugs. While he is waiting in the police station, Velji comes in to threaten him. As Velji is about to leave, Ali asks him to wait and says:

"kuchh logoN ke iraade mazboot hote haiN...kuchh logoN ke iraade tum jaise log mazboot banaa dete haiN"

"कुछ लोगों के इरादे मज़बूत होते हैं...कुछ लोगों के इरादे तुम जैसे लोग मज़बूत बना देते हैं"

This is an interesting film - scripted by Salman Khan's father Salim Khan in his second avatar. You can still see flashes of the old brilliance here and there. Overall the gore and senselessness that Mahesh Bhatt excels in, seeps through. But as I said, sometimes the brilliance of the writer also shines through.

kabhii aane ko kehtii hai, kabhii jaane ko kehtii hai

Film: Sharaabi
Year of release : 1984
Spoken by : Vicky (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Munshi (Om Prakash)

I saw this film when I was moving into adoloscence. It was a big hit with me. I used to wake up at 3 in the morning and sing the songs of the film. I was quite besotted with everything about the film. Now when I look back, I wonder how I did not turn into an alcoholic given my level of enchantment with this film. But even now when I see this film, I see many lines which I have used time and again in my life - sometimes in jest, sometimes in seriousness.

Here is one of them.

Natwar Shah (Ranjeet) is dancer Meena's (Jaya Prada looking at her beautiful best) agent. He tries to hitch her up with wealthy patrons and get rich in the process. Vicky is one such target. Natwar goes to Vicky to sell him tickets of one of her dance shows. When Vicky sees Meena's photo - he is besotted with her. He buys all the tickets of the show. When Meena is about to start her performance, she sees only two people in the hall - Vicky and Munshiji. She is upset and conveys her feelings to Vicky. She feels that he has insulted an artiste by acting in this manner. Vicky apologises but also drops in some heavy dialogues about his being a patron who could genuinely appreciate her art and also applaud her more than a 1000 members in the audience could. As he is about to leave, Meena asks him to wait. A flustered Vicky says, in his characteristic style;

"bhai kamaal hai munshii jii, kabhii aane ko kehtee hai kabhee jaane ko kehtee hai"
"भइ कमाल है मुंशी जी, कभी आने को कहती है, कभी जाने को कहती है"

A line which can be used very effectively with your lover :)

jawaan laDkee bhee jaaydaad kee tarah hotee hai...donoN kaa ek ek rakhwaalaa honaa chaahiye

Film: Man ka Meet
Year of release : 1968
Spoken by : Lala ji (Om Prakash)
Spoken to : Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar)

The claim to fame of this film is that this was the debut film of two people - one was Som Datt (Sunil Dutt's brother as hero, who was never heard of again) and Vinod Khanna (as villain and who later became a hero and then a sanyasi and then an MP).

Vinod Khanna really started looking his macho self from movies like Achanak. So here, he reminds you of Dharmendra in Dil Bhi Tera Hum Bhi Tere. In fact there is a dialogue in the film where the heroine Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar) tells him that he should not try to be a hero because he has a face more suited to being a villain.

Coming back to the dialogue, the 60s and 70s had a lot of these sexist dialogues, which seemed quite acceptable in that era. Today, I feel most people would take umbrage at such lines. But I am a sucker for metaphors and analogies and proverbs and what have you. This seemed to fit at least one of the above bills and hence I am featuring this line here.

Lala ji (Om Prakash), is a rich man and is the guardian of Aarti. He is worried about her marriage, whereas Aarti mouths the typical dialogue of that era - 'mujhe shaadi naheeN karnee' or ' abhii itnee jaldee kyaa hai'. And when Lala Ji tries to get her to consider marriage, he says

"jawaan laDkee bhee jaaydaad kee tarah hotee hai beTii...donoN kaa ek ek rakhwaalaa honaa zaroori hai"
"जवान लड़की भी जायदाद की तरह होती है बेटी...दोनों का एक एक रखवाला होना ज़रूरी है"

Jab tak baiThne ko naa kahaa jaaye sharaafat se khaDe raho

Film : Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Inspector Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Sher Khan (Pran)

Read the earlier post before reading this.

Sher Khan casually moves towards the chair kept in front of Vijay with an intention of sitting in . Before Sher Khan can actually sit, something happens. The slow and deliberate movements of Sher Khan and the sitting form of Vijay do not allow you to be prepared for what follows. They are in stark contrast to the sudden explosion of energy. You can actually feel the 'angry young man' in what follows. Vijay jumps out of his chair and kicks away the chair with great alacrity. A stunned Sher Khan stands wondering what will follow next. What follows next is this great line penned by Salim-Javed.

"Jab tak baiThne ko naa kahaa jaaye sharaafat se khaDe raho"
"जब तक बैठने को ना कहा जाये शराफ़त से खडे रहो"

Even in normally civilised settings - in offices and at homes - you have unwanted visitors who drop in unexpectedly and try to get overly friendly. Your entire body and soul wishes them to go away. You would love it if you could kick the chair away (before they plonk themselves in it) and say

"जब तक बैठने को ना कहा जाये शराफ़त से खडे रहो"

Of course, it will never happen in reality. But you can watch this scene and replay it in your mind. It will surely make you smile.

is ilaaqe meN naye aaye ho saahab

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)

Spoken to : Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)

This is the scene where Sher Khan and Vijay Khanna share screen space for the first time.

Inspector Vijay has sent for Sher Khan. Sher Khan comes to the police station. This is their interaction -

"assalaam aalaikum Inspector. Hamaaraa Khushqismatii, tumhaare jaise baDe officer ne humko yaad kiyaa. Hamaare laayaq koee khidmat?"

"अस्सलाम आलेक़ुम इंस्पॅक्टर. हमारा ख़ुशक़िस्मती, तुम्हारे जैसे बडे ऑफ़िसर ने हमको याद किया. हमारे लायक़ कोई ख़िदमत? "

"tumhaaraa naam ...sher khan hai?"

"तुम्हारा नाम ... शेर ख़ान है?"

"is ilaaqe meN naye aaye ho saahab? varnaa sher khan ko kaun naheeN jaantaa. Khair...ab mulaaqaat ho gayee hai."

"इस इलाक़े में नये आये हो साहब? वर्ना शेर ख़ान को कौन नहीं जानता. ख़ैर...अब मुलाक़ात हो गयी है."
And then something else happens. That will follow in the next post.

bardaasht kii koii had naheeN hotee

Film: Besharam
Year of release: 1978
Spoken by: Ramchandraji (A K Hangal)
Spoken to: Ram (Amitabh Bachchan)

A K Hangal should have debuted on this blog with that classic from Sholay "itnaa sannaaTaa kyoN haiN bhai". But as luck would have it, it is this line that marks his debut here.

Besharam is directed by Deven Verma and is one of Amitabh's weak films. This is the only film in which Amitabh plays the role of an LIC agent (probably explains the title :))

Pande (Jagdish Raj) is insulting his father Ramchandraji in Ram's presence. Tony (Imtiaz Khan) taunts Ram about his predicament. Ram goes and grabs Tony's collar. His father stops him. Ram angrily says

"Bardaasht kii bhii koii had hotee hai"
"बर्दाश्त की भी कोई हद होती है"

Ramchandraji very calmly responds:

"bardaasht kii koee had naheeN hotee...kuttaa agar aadmii ko kaaT le to aadmii kutte ko naheeN kaaTtaa"
"बर्दाश्त की कोई हद नहीं होती...कुत्ता अगर आदमी को काट ले तो आदमी कुत्ते को नहीं काटता"

Of course, as the film goes on to prove, that he was not quite right. But then this was an interesting line.

duniyaa meN sirf do hee sach haiN...ek haaN aur ek naa

Film: Kabzaa

Year of release: 1988

Spoken by: Ustaad Ali Mohammad (Aalok Nath)

Spoken to: D'Souza (Deepak Quazir)

This is a film written by Salim Khan (Salman Khan's father) and directed by Mahesh Bhatt.

"Duniyaa meN sirf do hee sach haiN...ek haaN aur ek naa...baaqii sab hera pheri hai"

"दुनिया में सिर्फ़ दो ही सच हैं...एक हाँ और एक ना...बाक़ी सब हेरा फेरी है"

He says this when D'Souza tries to wiggle out of his promise of building a children's park after being threatened by Ranjit Verma (Raj Babbar).

Apun yeDaa akkhee duniyaa shaaNii, haiN?

Film : Rangeela
Year of release : 1996
Spoken by : Munna (Aamir Khan)
Spoken to : Mili (Urmila Matondkar)

Many of the street smart Bambaiyya lines have been featured from this film earlier on this blog.

Both Milee and Munna are fighting after the ruckus at the theatre as that incident results in them not being able to see the movie Mr. Bond starring Milee’s favourite star Kamal.

Munna insists that it is not his fault. He says

"Arre kamaal hai, tere ko to har baat pe apnaa hee fault dikhtaa hai. Apun yeda akkhee duniyaa shaanee hain? "
"अरे कमाल है, तेरे को तो हर बात पर अपना ही फ़ॉल्ट दिखता है. अपुन येड़ा अक्खी दुनिया शानी, हैं?

baap kii kamaaii naheeN paap kee kamaaii hai

Film : Phool aur Patthar
Year of release : 1966
Spoken by : Sarju (OP Ralhan)
Spoken to : Fatso (his gangmember)

Sarju is distributing the loot equally among his gang members after a 'jhamoora' performance. So each gang member gets 1 re 81 paise (har di har har). A 'jhamoora' performance is one, where there is a ringmaster kind of character - the ustaad, who prompts his protege - the jhamoora, with questions. The protege responds and does some acts which together provide entertainment to the collected audience. But Sarju also used this as a ruse to pick the pockets of the members of the audience.

When Fatso protests-

"kamaal hai ustaad , do chhataank aadmi ke liye 1 re 81 paise aur mere liye bhee'

Sarju says ' kam khaayaa kar' and follows that up with

"baap kee kamaai nahee paap kee kamaaii hai sab ko baraabar kaa hissa milegaa"

"बाप की कमाई नहीं पाप की कमाई है, सब को बराबर का हिस्सा मिलेगा"

dekhaa bhii naheeN ke gaay hai ya bail aur loTaa leke duhne baiTh gayaa

Film : Jaagte Raho
Year of release : 1956
Spoken by : Shashaank Bhaiyya (Anon)
Spoken to : Chandu (Iftekhar)

Jaagte Raho is one of the better films of Raj Kapoor. Of course, he tries to irritate the hell out of me like always, but somehow holds my attention. It is the simple story of a village simpleton who comes to the city and is thirsty and looks for water. He is thought by a policeman to be a thief and is chased into a housing compound and there he hides in one house after the other and keeps looking for water. He does not find any water, but he does find the level of debasement and corruption in the lives of these 'bourgeouise'.

crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai

Film : Phoonk

Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Manja (Zakir Husain)

Spoken to : Rajiv (Sudeep)

Kannada star Sudeep stars in this Ramgopal Varma film which dared anyone in the audience to watch the film alone in a theatre. I thought the film was not scare at all. But I will grant you this, I have a strong heart. I will also grant you that the performance by some actors was very credible.

Quickly, this is the story of an atheist who is forced to believe. As the story approaches its climax, the tantric Manja asks Rajiv, if he is an atheist.

Rajiv replies in the affirmative. Manja asks him the reason. Rajiv says he doesn't know, and follows up with a rhetorical question - What is God?

Manja looks at him and asks him if he pops a Crocin when he is suffering from fever. Rajiv says yes. Manja asks him how does he know what is Crocin and that it will cure him. Doesn't he just 'believe' in the doctor when he asks him to pop a Crocin. And then the punchline

"Crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai"

"क्रोसिन को मानने में और भागवान को मानने में क्या फर्क़ है?"

kuttaa jab paagal ho jaataa hai to use golee maar dete haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Seth Dharam Dayal Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Patil (Sapru)

Vijay i.e. Amitabh's father Ranjit is a felon who wants to mend his ways. After being released from jail (read this entry), Ranjit goes to his employers (DD and Patil) and says he will no longer do this work and wants to go straight. DD tells Patil that he is wondering how many years jail they will get if Ranjit were to go to the police and turn an approver. An angry Patil says Ranjit has gone mad. DD aka Ajit comes up with his Ajitism.

"kuttaa jab paagal ho jaataa hai to use golee maar dete haiN"

"कुत्ता जब पागल हो जाता है तो उसे गोली मार देते हैं"

kyonki chori ki yaari aur chori ki savaari kabhee kabhee karnee chaahiye

Film : Kuchche Dhaage
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Roopa (Kabir Bedi)
Spoken to : Laakhan (Vinod Khanna)

This was another of those dacoit films of the 70s. Must have been a very angry country at that time. But what I found interesting was the spelling of the film. The film was spelt on its print and posters as 'Kuchhe Dhaage' which I would read as 'Threads of Underwear' in this form (कच्छे धागे) as against the actual meaning of 'Weak Threads'.

Anyways the film has two dacoit gangs - one a Brahmin gang and the other was a Rajput gang. The chieftains of both gangs viz., Roopa and Laakhan come together in the climax to ensure the wedding of their beloved.

When both of them are fighting together against the police and enjoying a banter about their horses. They both had stolen each others horses. Laakhan asks Roopa, if he rides his white horse. Roopa says
"kabhi kabhi"
Laakhan asks
"kabhi kabhi kyon?"

Roopa comes up with an interesting answer
"kyonki chori ki yaari aur chori ki savaari kabhee kabhee karnee chaahiye"
"क्योंकि चोरी कि यारी और चोरी की सवारी कभी कभी करनी चाहिये"

I quite like this wonderful rules that brigands and dacoits come up with.

But do you know that a movie which has Vinod Khanna and Kabir Bedi running after Moushmi Chatterjee, who does she go and marry. Some guy called Ritesh. But then that is what Moushmi would have wanted, after all Ritesh was just the screen name of her real life husband Jayanto Mukherjee (singer Hemant Kumar's son)

sar salaamat to pagDee pachaas

Film : C Kkompany

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Ramakant Joshi (Anupam Kher)

Spoken to : Purushottam (Nikhil Ratnaparkhi)

A group of three neighbours come together as C Kkompany to play out their wildest power dreams. Lambodar Jha (Rajpal Yadav) calls up as a don from C Kkompany and threatens Purushottam (who is a builder) with dire consequences if he refuses to pay up. Ramakant and Akshay Kumar (Tusshar Kapoor) try and convince Purushottam to agree to the don's demands. Akshay says that one should not take such threats lightly. Ramakant follows that up with a classic line

"सर सलामत तो पगड़ी पचास"

There is a famous saying in Hindi - 'jaan hai to jahaan hai". This line also captures the same thought in a slightly fresher way.

kabhii kabhii ye kaam bhee karnaa chaahiye

Film : Sholay

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Jay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Veeru (Dharmendra)

Veeru and Basanti (Hema Malini) are now a proper romantic couple. Veeru wants Jay to go to Basanti's mausee (aunt) and ask for Basanti's hand. Jay is very skeptical of Veeru's 'love' and his desire to 'marry'. See how the scene opens.

Veeru : Jay...

Jay : hmmm...

Veeru : aaj maine kuchh sochaa hai...

Jay : hmm...kabhii kabhii ye kaam bhee karnaa chaahiye

The sardonic Jay is heaping scorn on Veeru and his ability to think. I do loads of this 'kaam' and wish more people in this world would do so too. :)

As Jay says,

हम्म... कभी कभी ये काम भी करना चाहिये

gaaranTee? MaiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?

Film : A Wednesday
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Common Man (Naseeruddin Shah)
Spoken to : Prakash Rathod (Anupam Kher)

Naseer has asked for the four terrorists to be transported to an unused runway near Juhu Airbase. He has laid out his requirements very very clearly. Prakash asks him that what is the guarantee that he would defuse all bombs once the requests are complied with.

A very very disdainful tone comes into the Common Man's voice when he says

"gaaranTee? maiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?"

"गारंटी? मैं आपको पंखा बेच रहा हूं?"

kuchh aadmiyoN kee kamzoree iimaandaaree hotii hai

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : DD Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Mona (Bindu)

When Mona cribs to Teja that Inspector Vijay Khanna does not accept any bribes, Dharam Dayal Teja says
"Mona jis tarah kuchh aadmiyoN kii kamzoree beimaanee hotee hai usee tarah kuchh aadmiyon kee kamzoree imaandaaree hotee hai"

"मोना जिस तरह कुछ आदमियों की कमज़ोरी बेईमानी होती है, उसी तरह कुछ आदमियों की कमज़ोरी ईमानदारी होती है "

bolte English haiN karte desii haiN

Film : Oye Lucky Lucky Oye
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Bangaalii (Manu Rishi)
Spoken to : Lucky (Abhay Deol)
Dialogue writer : Manu Rishi

This hugely disappointing Dibakar Banerji follow up to one of the all time greats of Hindi and world cinema - Khosla ka Ghosla - has some interesting lines.

Lucky is a suave thief, who burgles houses but with a sangfroid that would put an aristocrat to shame. Bangaali is his aide in many such thefts. In one such scenes, he warns Lucky to beware of the educated classes. He feels that they are hypocrites who might sound cultured but have ignoble intentions underlying. As he himself puts it

'bolte English haiN karte desee haiN'

"बोलते इंग्लिश हैं करते देसी हैं "

mard aadmii khelte haiN baabu...dekhne vaaloN ko kyaa kehte haiN maaloom?

Film : Ankur

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Swami - A villager (Unidentified)

Spoken to : Surya (Anant Nag)

On Diwali day, three men come to Surya's house. He invites them to drink and gamble. They invite him to gamble along with them. Surya refuses, he says

"Aisaa karo tum log khelo - maiN dekhooNgaa"

"ऐसा करो तुम लोग खेलो - मैं देखूंगा"

Swami (one of the gamblers) retorts with

"mard aadmii khelte haiN babu, dekhne waaloN ko kyaa kehte haiN maaloom?"

"मर्द आदमी खेलते हैं बाबू, देखने वालों को क्या कहते हैं मालूम ? "

A classic hark back to the Sanskrit quotation

"उद्योगम् पुरुष लक्षणम् "

he wants to watch.

Meraa beemaa sirf 1 laakh kaa hai aur aapkaa paanch laakh kaa

Film : Funtoosh

Year of release : 1956

Spoken by : Ram Lal Funtoosh (Dev Anand)

Spoken to : KaroRi Lal (K N Singh)

An old Dev Anand film talking about the dangers of taking too much insurance. 1 lac in 1956 (assuming a rate of 8% for the entire period) is roughly equal to 32 lacs in today's terms. 5 lacs is around 1.6 crores. I think one must think before buying too much insurance.

MukhDaa dekhoge to antraa bhool jaaoge

Film : Ab Kya Hoga

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Rajesh (Asrani)

Spoken to : Ram (Shatrughan Sinha)

This was a very silly mystery film made by Sawan Kumar Tak. Ram reaches Rajesh's wedding quite late. While Rajesh is taking him to task for having come late, Ram says

"chal zaraa pehle bhaabhi kaa mukhDa dekh aate haiN"

Rajesh says,

"mukhDaa dekhoge to antaraa bhool jaaoge. laakhoN meN ek hai - nazar mat lagaa denaa"

"मुखड़ा देखोगे तो अंतरा भूल जाओगे. लाखों में एक है - नज़र मत लगा देना"

soorat se dil kaa pata naheeN chaltaa

Film : Prem Patra
Year of release : 1962
Spoken by : Dr Arun Kumar (Shashi Kapoor)
Spoken to : Arun's aunt

Dr Arun's aunt is eager to fix his marriage with the local landowner's daughter. This would help him to get the requisite money to fund his higher studies abroad. Dr Arun has been heartbroken because of his scholarship having been cancelled for a flimsy reason. So he has kind of resigned himself to his fate. His aunt is trying to emotionally blackmail him and says,

"chaaho to kal laRkee dekh aao "

"चाहो तो कल लड़की देख आओ"

"dekhne se kyaa hotaa hai. soorat se dil kaa pataa naheeN chaltaa. jab wo aapko pasand hai - to bas Theek hai"

"देखने से क्या होता है. सूरत से दिल का पता नहीं चलता, जब वो आपको पसन्द है - तो बस ठीक है"

In English there is a saying - face is the index of the mind. Here is a version trying to negate that saying. It is interesting that you can often find good lines contradicting the inherent wisdom in each other. Sometimes even in the same language.

Sher Khan ne shaadii nahii kee to kyaa huaa, lekin baaraateN bahut dekhee haiN

Film : Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)
Spoken to : Vijay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Sher Khan comes to Vijay's house to give him a heads up about the offer that he has got. Two people have approached him with an offer to bump off Vijay Khanna. When Sher Khan walks in, Vijay is sitting with Mala. Vijay introduces Sher Khan to Mala;

"Mala ye Sher Khan hai. Mere bahut acchhe dost. Samjhee?
"माला ये शेर ख़ान है. मेरे बहुत अच्छे दोस्त. समझी?"

Sher Khan says,

"Yeh hamaare baare meN kuchh samjhe ya na samjhe, lekin ham inke baare meN samajh gayaa"
"ये हमारे बारे में कुछ समझे या न समझे, लेकिन हम इनके बारे में समझ गया"

"kyaa samajh gaye Sher Khan?"

"dekho biraadar. Sher Khan ne shaadii nahee kee to kyaa huaa, lekin baaraateN bahut dekheeN haiN"
"देखो बिरादर. शेर ख़ान ने शादी नहीं की तो क्या हुआ, लेकिन बारातें बहुत देखीं हैं"

chale to aRhaaii chaal nahee to chale hee naheeN

Film : Prem Patra
Year of release : 1962
Spoken by : Kavita's mother
Spoken to : Kavita (Sadhna)

This is a decent Bimal Roy film (not one of his best) with a very complicated story.

"Maa meraa iraadaa hai, maiN aaj raat hee ki gaaDee se Darjeeling chalee jaaooN"
"माँ मेरा इरादा है, मैं आज रात ही की गाड़ी से डार्जीलिंग चली जाऊं"

"Aaj kaise. parson to tere paas hone kee party jo hai?"
"आज कैसे? परसों तो तेरे पास होने की पार्टी जो है?"

"naheeN maa party rehne do. maiN aaj hee jaanaa chaahtee hooN"
"नहीं माँ पार्टी रहने दो. मैं आज ही जाना चाहती हूं"

"Ajeeb laRkee hai, chale to aRhaaii chaal, naheeN to chale hee naheeN"
"अजीब लड़की है, चले तो अढ़ाई चाल, नहीं तो चले ही नहीं"

WahaaN jaake phir angrezii bolnee paDegee

Film: Singh is Kinng

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Rangeelaa (Om Puri)

Spoken to : Himself

Akshay Kumar has perfected the art of making you laugh in films with inane stories. If you ask me, he is a bigger Baadshah than SRK. Anyways, in this particular sequence, Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar) and Rangeela have landed in Sydney airport and their luggage seems to have been misplaced by the airlines. Rangeela has come with Happy as the village English 'expert'. That his English would not be understood by most native English speakers is another matter altogether. Rangeela goes to the booking counter to complain in loud and clear terms about his luggage. The man at the counter is trying his best to explain that he cannot help him and that Rangeela would have to go to the luggage counter. But Rangeela is the English 'expert' and cannot understand a word. An Indian traveller who is also waiting beside Rangeela intervenes and explains to Rangeela that he would have to go to the luggage counter.

An exasperated Rangeela says

'वहाँ जाके फिर अंग्रेज़ी बोलनी पडेगी"

When I saw this scene, I broke out laughing and could not stop for close to a minute. Om Puri has managed to give credibility to this dialogue with his acting prowess.

kaho to phir andar bhijvaa deN

Film: Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Teja (Ajit)
Spoken to : Vijay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Vijay has been jailed on a trumped up charge of bribery. The main man behind setting him up was Teja. When Vijay is released he is eager for revenge. He goes straight to a phone booth and he calls Teja. Here is the conversation. Reproducing it verbatim as it is a very famous line.

"Teja maiN vijay bol rahaa hooN"

"तेजा मैं विजय बोल रहा हूं"

"Oh hello inspector"

"ओह हलो इंस्पॅक्टर"

"maiN baahar aa gayaa hooN"

"मैं बाहर आ गया हूं"

"kaho to phir andar bhijvaa deN"

"कहो तो फिर अन्दर भिजवा दें"

What sets Ajit's Teja apart from other villains of that time is that he never went over the top. He is very cool and maintains what I would call his 'sangfroid' at all times. Superb.

taaj un saroN pe naheeN rehtaa jinke qareeb Khauf aa jaaye

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Bahaar (Nigar Sultana)

Spoken to : A maid in the palace

Bahaar, is one of the senior maids in the palace. She nurses a secret ambition of becoming the princess. One day she is trying on the crown and she is spotted by another maid. The other maid says

"taaj doosroN ke haath pehne jaate haiN bahaar"

"ताज दूसरों के हाथ पहने जाते हैं बहार"

Bahaar retorts with

"haath doosroN ke hote haiN par himmat apnee hotee hai"

"हाथ दूसरों के होते हैं पर हिम्मत अपनी होती है"

The maid says

"koee aa na jaaye bahaar, kyaa tumhe Khauf naheeN?"

"कोई आ न जाये बहार, क्या तुम्हें ख़ौफ़ नहीं?"

Bahaar says

"Khauf? taaj un saroN pe naheeN rehtaa jinke qareeb Khauf aa jaaye"

"ख़ौफ़? ताज उन सरों पे नहीं रहता जिनके क़रीब ख़ौफ आ जाये"

That is so true. Even today, to be a leader in any field, courage continues to be one of the competencies required.

Jab tak zindaa hooN tab tak maraa naheeN, jab mar gayaa saalaa maiN hee naheeN

Film: Anand
Year of release : 1971
Spoken by : Anand Sehgal (Rajesh Khanna)
Spoken to : Dr Bhaskar (Amitabh Bachchan)


Jab tak zindaa hooN tab tak maraa naheeN, jab mar gayaa saalaa maiN hee naheeN

Main der se marne waaloN meN hooN

Film : DaaG

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Diwan (Manmohan Krishna)

Spoken to : Sunil (Rajesh Khanna)

I love this line. It is an oblique reference to a rich man. Diwan is a heart patient who has an attack while travelling on a train with his daughter Chandni (Raakhi). Sunil helps them during the journey and Diwan is very grateful. He tells Sunil about Chandni's troubles - she has been cheated by a man and is now pregnant and unmarried. After helping them off the train, Sunil tries to console him and says

"aap achchhe ho jaayenge aapkaa ilaaj ho rahaa hai"

"आप अच्छे हो जायेंगे आपका इलाज हो रहा है"

Diwan says,

"Ilaaj vagairah sab bahaanaa hai, tareeqaa hai rupayaa kharch karne kaa. Jinke paas hotaa hai vo der se marte haiN aur jinke paas naheeN hotaa vo jaldii mar jaate haiN. MaiN der se marne waaloN meN hooN"

"इलाज वगैरह सब बहाना है, तरीक़ा है रुपया खर्च करने का. जिनके पास होता है वो देर से मरते हैं और जिनके पास नहीं होता वो जल्दी मर जाते हैं. मैं देर से मरने वालों में हूं."

Sometimes when I see our allopathic medicine system and the costs associated with even small things, I am reminded of this line. But I can safely say one thing. I am not rich.

मैं देर से मरने वालों में नहीं हूं.

"

Beewii ho... to har masalaa TeRhaa hotaa hai

Film: Shatranj ke Khilari

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Mirza Sajjad Ali (Sanjeev Kumar)

Spoken to : Meer Roshan Ali (Saeed Jaffrey)

Khurshid (Shabana Azmi), Mirza's wife, is constantly angry at Mirza's long hours spent on playing chess. She is very demonstrative of her displeasure. On one such occasion when her feathers have been ruffled, the Mirza goes in to soothe her. When he comes back, Mir asks him if he managed to soothe his wife and remarks

"baRa TeRha masalaa hai"

"बड़ा टेढ़ा मसला है"

Mirza heaves a long sigh and says

"beewii ho meer saahab, to har masalaa, TeRhaa hotaa hai"

"बीवी हो मीर साहब, तो हर मसला टेढ़ा होता है"

I am sure many of the married men would agree with this.

Haathii agar baiTh bhee jaaye to gadhe se oonchaa hotaa hai

Film : Baap Numberi Beta Dus Numberi
Year of release : 1990
Spoken by : Raman (Kader Khan)
Spoken to : Prasad (his son played by Shakti Kapoor)

This line is often used by me while referring to the financial markets and its constituents. I will come to that in a moment. Now both father and son are in a constant game of oneupmanship in this movie. Prasad goes and fraudulently collects gold from Raman's locker. In the meantime, Raman cleans out the balance in Prasad's account fraudulently. He calls up Prasad to tell him this and also tells him that the gold that Prasad has taken is fake. So the father is reiterating to the son that even if the son grows up he will not really match up to the father. He puts it beautifully

"Haathii agar baiTh bhee jaaye to gadhe se oonchaa hotaa hai"
"हाथी अगर बैठ भी जाये तो गधे से ऊंचा होता "

Now let me tell you my financial markets analogy. There are two common financial assets that people invest in - debt and equity. Now if you invest in debt, the growth is more steady, whereas in equity the journey is more volatile. But even if equity tanks very badly, over a 10 year term it would still end up giving more returns than debt. This has been my experience in the Indian markets over the last 20 years. Hence, if someone asks me the question equity or debt, I say this

"हाथी अगर बैठ भी जाये तो गधे से ऊंचा होता "

Baarah janglee kutte milke sher ko maar Daalte haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)

Spoken to : Vijay 'Khan' (Amitabh Bachchan)

Teja asks his men to find out someone who has had a skirmish with Vijay in the past and pay him money to bump Vijay off. His men go and visit Sher Khan as he has had a very public fight with Vijay. What they do not know is that both Vijay and Sher Khan have now kissed and made up. Sher Khan refuses the offer given by Teja's men. He then goes to warn Vijay about the offer he has received. Vijay laughs it off. Sher Khan says, that though Vijay might be a brave man, but a pack of wild dogs can finish off a lion. Must have been a very powerful dialogue in the pre-Discovery and Animal Planet days. Now even little kids know this and hence the dialogue sort of loses its potence. But here goes nonetheless,

"Baarah janglee kutte milke sher ko maar Daalte haiN"

"बारह जंगली कुत्ते मिलकर शेर को मार डालते हैं"

kis kis kaa naam poochhenge aap

Film : Pakeezah

Year of release : 1972

Spoken by : Saahib Jaan (Meena Kumari)

Spoken to : Salim (Raaj Kumar)

Saahib Jan is a nautch girl. Forest Officer Salim falls in love with her after he meets her in that famous romantic train sequence. He is taking her back to the city with the intention of marrying her. One of her patrons, Hashim Khan, recognises her and starts following her. Salim asks Sahib Jan who he is. She responds with the classic

"kis kis kaa naam poochhenge aap?"

"किस किस का नाम पूछेंगे आप?"

poochhne ke liye zindaa rehnaa zaroorii hotaa hai

Film : Satya

Year of release : 1998

Spoken by : Satya (Chakravarthi)

Spoken to : Bhau Thakurdas Jhawle (Govind Namdeo)

Bhiku Mhatre (Manoj Bajpai) decides to kill Gurunarayan (Raju Mavani) upon the advice of Satya. Bhiku's mentor Bhau loses his cool when he comes to know of it and pounces on Bhiku saying he should have asked him first

"poochhne kaa naa mere ko" he says in a condescending manner.

Bhiku is at a loss to respond. Satya comes to his aid with

"poochhne ke liye zindaa rehnaa zaroorii hotaa hai"

"पूछने के लिये ज़िन्दा रहना ज़रूरी होता है"

So if your boss questions any decision of yours which has been taken in a crisis and says you should have checked with him/her first, you can use this line.

Mohabbat jo Dartee hai vo mohabbat naheeN ayyaashee hai, gunaah hai

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Prince Salim (Dilip Kumar)

Spoken to : Anarkali (Madhubala)

You would have guessed from the line which film this line belonged to. Anarkali and Salim are in an amorous mood (or as our journalists call it - 'compromising position'), when Akbar the Great walks in. Anarkali is scared and makes a gesture to run away. Salim stops her and asks her not to be afraid. Because he believes, fearful love is manifestation of dishonourable intent. As he puts it

"mohabbat jo Dartee hai vo mohabbat naheeN, ayyaashee hai, gunaah hai"

"मोहब्बत जो डरती है वो मोहब्बत नहीं, अय्याशी है, गुनाह है"

Though that means that all that I have done in my life is 'gunaah'. PDA or public display of affection is such an unacceptable thing in India, that you have to be fearful.

"तो क्या मैं गुनाहगार हूं?"

Sher aur bakree donoN ek hee ghaaT se paanee naheeN peete

Film : Dus Numbri

Year of release : 1976

Spoken by : Inspector Jaichand (Premnath)

Spoken to : Arjun aka Dus Numbri (Manoj Kumar)

Manoj Kumar has sued Farah and Shahrukh for misrepresenting him in OSO. If you want to see how sickening and stupid he looked, see this film. Crap film with some very good songs. But when a film is so bad you want to stick till the end a la Return of the Jewel Thief. And I think he should have paid Farah money for the service that she has done to him. Par woh kahaanii phir kabhee.

Arjun is a 'bad character' and Inspector Jaichand is a crooked police officer. In one exchange between the two, Arjun asks Jaichand for a 50% cut in the fake currency racket. Jaichand is angry that a petty crook considers himself worthy of equal profits. He says,

"Sher aur bakree donoN ek hee ghaaT se paanee naheeN peete"

"शेर और बकरी दोनों एक ही घाट से पानी नहीं पीते"

Premnath makes his debut on this blog.