I am a dropout by choice sir.

Film : A Wednesday

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Anuj Sharma (Parth)

Spoken to : Prakash RaThoD (Anupam Kher)

Dialogue writer : Neeraj Pandey

This film will become of one of the enduring classics of Hindi cinema. Neeraj Pandey is one director whose second films is being awaited by more people than he himself is aware of. 

This line also shows how characters are changing in cinema. Prakash comes in to the situation room, where he finds a young boy standing casually. The boy is the hacker who assists the police on cyber crime cases. He is dressed in jeans, t-shirt and a baseball cap. Now savour this interaction;

Prakash comes in and asks his junior

"yeh bachchaa kaun hai"

"sir iskaa naam Anuj hai. hacker hai sir, cyber crime cases crack karne me.n aksar hamaaree madad kartaa hai."

"itnaa qualified hai ye?"

"sir vaise to college dropout hai lekin....Anuj"

"ye, equipment aur ye setup samajh me.n aa rahaa hai tumhaaree?"

"no sir. ye saare equipments outdated hai.n.aap log abhii bhii n series ke 3423 models use kar rahe hai.n, jab ki s series ko launch huye teen maheene se zyaadaa ho chukaa hai, I need some time. thoDaa vaqt to lagegaa."

"ye hogaa tumse"

At this point, Anuj's phone rings. He pauses to pick it up.

"hey babes! yeah. running late honey. will catch you in half an hour. ok. love you. see you."

And then he sighs and says "women" like some seasoned 40 year old would have. Now back to the conversation.

"sorry aap kuchh keh rahe the"

"ye hogaa tumse?"

"definitely. I am a dropout by choice sir."

In the link you can see this at 07:11 timecode.

jiskaa pataa nahii.n hotaa uskaa pataa nahii.n chaltaa

Film : Oye Lucky Lucky Oye

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Lucky (Abhay Deol)

Spoken to : Gogi (Paresh Rawal)

Dialogue writer : Manu Rishi

This film was supposed to be based on the life of Bunty Chor (or Davinder Singh). The film was a big disappointment for those who had seen Dibakar's debut - Khosla ka Ghosla. 

Lucky is on a stealing spree and picking up cars and all kinds of stuff for the local don - Gogi. Once when Bangali (Manu Rishi) and Lucky meet him after a successful heist, Gogi asks him where he lives. Bangali says

"car me.n.. aage drawing room, peechhe bedroom"

"कार में. आगे ड्राइंग रूम, पीछे बॅडरूम"

Gogi is very surprised when he hears this. Lucky responds with a pragmatic line

"jiskaa pataa nahii.n hotaa uskaa pataa nahii.n chaltaa"

"जिसका  पता नहीं होता उसका पता नहीं चलता" 

chaaTnaa hai to ice cream mangaa

Film : Jaane Tu...Ya Jaane Na
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Bagheera (Arbaaz Khan)
Spoken to : Inspector Vaghmare (Paresh Rawal)

This film has a comic book feel to it and this feel is further accentuated by the names given to the two screen brothers played by two real life brothers Arbaaz and Sohail Khan. They are called Bhaloo and Bagheera in this film. This is obviously a nod to the Jungle Book characters.

Bhaloo and Bagheera go around the city - displaying wanton behaviour all around. Inspector Vaghmare arrests them and throws them into the lock up. When they are in the lock up he realises that the two are connected to the high and mighty. He then tries to ingratiate himself to them. Bagheera gets disgusted and says,

"chaaTnaa hai to ice cream mangaa"
"चाटना है तो आइस क्रीम मंगा"

uskee plane ko take off karne ke liye 2 runway lagte hai.n

Film : Jaane Tu...Ya Jaane Na
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Aditi (Genelia D'Souza)
Spoken to : Sushant (Ayaz Khan)

There was a time when a heroine whose name was Genelia D Souza would have changed it to Janaki Devi for acceptability from the broad audience. And they called that India more secular. I think the new generation is far more secular than our parents are/were. Genelia's screen name Aditi became a legend thanks to the popularity of the song "kabhi kabhi aditi". But it was her unique and slightly high pitched way of speaking that probably left a greater impression on the cine goers.

In this scene, Aditi is telling Sushant that Bombs (Alishka Varde) is slow on the uptake. She uses a flying metaphor for that. Normally a metaphor is used either because the speaker or the receiver understands that metaphor better. In this case neither is true. So wonder why Aditi used this flying metaphor. In any case, mine not to reason why. I liked the line. So here goes.

"uskee plane ko take off karne ke liye 2 runway lagte hai.n...matlab...thoRii slow hai woh"
"उसकी प्लेन को टेक ऑफ़ करने के लिये 2 रनवे लगते हैं...मतलब...थोड़ी स्लो है वो"

Aaj tak aisee good luck huyee nahee.n ki kisee ladies se pyaar ho jaaye

Film : Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Surinder Sahni (Shah Rukh Khan)

Spoken to : Taani (Anushka Sharma)

This was an interesting film - funny in parts - but too many cliches. Typical YashRaj cloying stuff. YRF should outsource writing and direction - else it becomes far too predictable. But the film is still worth a watch and Shah Rukh comes up with a good performance. If you watch the films do not switch off the moment the closing credits start rolling. Do listen to Shah Rukh's commentary over the closing credits. I, for one, thought that that by itself redeemed the film.

Taani plays the role of a girl who has a husband who loves her very much, but she is running after 'love' and does not appreciate what she has. So once she tells Surinder that she can't love him and if he can't live forever without love then she would leave. A very patient and 'nice' Surinder says,

"pyaar kyaa hotaa hai Taani ji mujhe nahee.n pataa, aaj tak aisee good luck huyee nahee.n ki kisee ladies se pyaar ho jaaye"

"प्यार क्या होता है तानी जी मुझे नहीं पता, आज तक ऐसी गुड लक हुयी नहीं कि किसी लेडीज़ से प्यार हो जाये"

ek drink to dushman ke saath lete hai.n

Film : Jaane Tu...Yaa Jaane Na
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Mahesh (Rajat Kapoor)
Spoken to : Jai Rathore (Imran Khan)

Jai's girlfriend Meghna (Manjari Phadnis) takes him home. Over dinner, Jai realises that Meghna's parents {Mahesh (Rajat Kapoor) and Sheela (Kitu Gidwani)} have a dysfunctional relationship. Mahesh offers Jai a drink and Jai accepts. This is the new Bollywood. Such a thing would never have happened even in the 80s and 90s.

A girl brings her boyfriend home to dinner. The father offers him a drink. The boy accepts. They all drink together. Even the girl's mother. Wait there is more.

Mahesh offers Jai another drink. Jai (who I think feels enough customs have been broken in one film) declines. Mahesh comes up with this classic line.

"ye kaisaa laRkaa hai...ek drink to dushman ke saath lete hai.n"
"ये कैसा लड़का है...एक ड्रिंक तो दुश्मन के साथ लेते हैं"

A lot of friendships are formed over drinks and tobacco smoke. Having been a teetotaler and non-smoker all my life, I have missed out on a lot of such friendships. Did I write 'missed out on'? Changed that to 'spared of '.

crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai

Film : Phoonk

Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Manja (Zakir Husain)

Spoken to : Rajiv (Sudeep)

Kannada star Sudeep stars in this Ramgopal Varma film which dared anyone in the audience to watch the film alone in a theatre. I thought the film was not scare at all. But I will grant you this, I have a strong heart. I will also grant you that the performance by some actors was very credible.

Quickly, this is the story of an atheist who is forced to believe. As the story approaches its climax, the tantric Manja asks Rajiv, if he is an atheist.

Rajiv replies in the affirmative. Manja asks him the reason. Rajiv says he doesn't know, and follows up with a rhetorical question - What is God?

Manja looks at him and asks him if he pops a Crocin when he is suffering from fever. Rajiv says yes. Manja asks him how does he know what is Crocin and that it will cure him. Doesn't he just 'believe' in the doctor when he asks him to pop a Crocin. And then the punchline

"Crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai"

"क्रोसिन को मानने में और भागवान को मानने में क्या फर्क़ है?"

sar salaamat to pagDee pachaas

Film : C Kkompany

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Ramakant Joshi (Anupam Kher)

Spoken to : Purushottam (Nikhil Ratnaparkhi)

A group of three neighbours come together as C Kkompany to play out their wildest power dreams. Lambodar Jha (Rajpal Yadav) calls up as a don from C Kkompany and threatens Purushottam (who is a builder) with dire consequences if he refuses to pay up. Ramakant and Akshay Kumar (Tusshar Kapoor) try and convince Purushottam to agree to the don's demands. Akshay says that one should not take such threats lightly. Ramakant follows that up with a classic line

"सर सलामत तो पगड़ी पचास"

There is a famous saying in Hindi - 'jaan hai to jahaan hai". This line also captures the same thought in a slightly fresher way.

gaaranTee? MaiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?

Film : A Wednesday
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Common Man (Naseeruddin Shah)
Spoken to : Prakash Rathod (Anupam Kher)

Naseer has asked for the four terrorists to be transported to an unused runway near Juhu Airbase. He has laid out his requirements very very clearly. Prakash asks him that what is the guarantee that he would defuse all bombs once the requests are complied with.

A very very disdainful tone comes into the Common Man's voice when he says

"gaaranTee? maiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?"

"गारंटी? मैं आपको पंखा बेच रहा हूं?"

bolte English haiN karte desii haiN

Film : Oye Lucky Lucky Oye
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Bangaalii (Manu Rishi)
Spoken to : Lucky (Abhay Deol)
Dialogue writer : Manu Rishi

This hugely disappointing Dibakar Banerji follow up to one of the all time greats of Hindi and world cinema - Khosla ka Ghosla - has some interesting lines.

Lucky is a suave thief, who burgles houses but with a sangfroid that would put an aristocrat to shame. Bangaali is his aide in many such thefts. In one such scenes, he warns Lucky to beware of the educated classes. He feels that they are hypocrites who might sound cultured but have ignoble intentions underlying. As he himself puts it

'bolte English haiN karte desee haiN'

"बोलते इंग्लिश हैं करते देसी हैं "

WahaaN jaake phir angrezii bolnee paDegee

Film: Singh is Kinng

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Rangeelaa (Om Puri)

Spoken to : Himself

Akshay Kumar has perfected the art of making you laugh in films with inane stories. If you ask me, he is a bigger Baadshah than SRK. Anyways, in this particular sequence, Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar) and Rangeela have landed in Sydney airport and their luggage seems to have been misplaced by the airlines. Rangeela has come with Happy as the village English 'expert'. That his English would not be understood by most native English speakers is another matter altogether. Rangeela goes to the booking counter to complain in loud and clear terms about his luggage. The man at the counter is trying his best to explain that he cannot help him and that Rangeela would have to go to the luggage counter. But Rangeela is the English 'expert' and cannot understand a word. An Indian traveller who is also waiting beside Rangeela intervenes and explains to Rangeela that he would have to go to the luggage counter.

An exasperated Rangeela says

'वहाँ जाके फिर अंग्रेज़ी बोलनी पडेगी"

When I saw this scene, I broke out laughing and could not stop for close to a minute. Om Puri has managed to give credibility to this dialogue with his acting prowess.

terii mayyat par zyaadaa bheeD naheeN lagegee

Film : Woodstock Villa

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Kaleem Bhai (Gulshan Grover)
Spoken to : Sameer (Sikandar Kher)

Kaleem Bhai has lent some money to Sameer. Since Sameer is behindhand on the payment, he comes and bashes him up regularly to serve as a payment due reminder. In one such instance, he says

"terii mayyat par zyaadaa bheeD naheeN lagegee...kyoNkii mardoN se too pehchaan banaataa naheeN hai aur auratoN ko shamshaan meN aane kee manaa hai"

"तेरी मय्यत पर ज़्यादा भीड़ नहीं लगेगी, क्योंकि मर्दों से तू पहचान बनाता नहीं है और औरतों को शमशान में आने की मना है"

It is quite surprising that inspite of the society having progressed so (women can go into space and onto moon); they still don't go to the graveyard.

Yeh laDkiyaaN shamshaan tak aa naheeN saktee, lekin pahunchaa zaroor sakteeN haiN

Film : Woodstock Villa
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Kaleem Bhai (Gulshan Grover)
Spoken to : Sameer (Sikander Kher)

Gulshan Grover here playing another interesting character called Kaleem Bhai. He is a don who is owed money by the hero Sameer. Sameer is of course a philanderer and takes a needlessly healthy interest in women. On one such collection call, Kaleem Bhai leaves Sameer with a warning.

"jaate jaate kaleem bhaai kee naseehat sun le. ye laDkiyaan shamshaan tak aa naheeN saktee lekin pahunchaa zaroor sakteeN haiN"
"जाते जाते कलीम भाई की नसीहत सुन ले. ये लड़कियाँ शम्शान तक आ नहीं सकती, लेकिन पहुँचा ज़रूर सकतीं हैं"

Jab pati apnee patni ko kuchh aur nahee de saktaa to usko credit card detaa hai

Film : Dhoom Dhadakka

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Johnny English (Satish Kaushik)

Spoken to : Secretary Jia (Deepshikha)

This is a silly line. But when I saw the movie I liked it, hence I am featuring it here. Johnny English has this Karamchand-Kittyish relation with his secretary, though unlike Karamchand he is not intelligent. But he prefaces his witticisms with

"नॉलॆज के लिये लिखो, जब पति अपनी पत्नी को कुछ और नहीं दे सकता तो उसको क्रेडिट कार्ड देता है"

"knowledge ke liye likho, jab pati apnee patnee ko kuchh aur naheeN de saktaa to usko credit card detaa hai"

These days whenever I meet someone who says that he has taken an add-on card and given it to his wife, I find it difficult to suppress a smile. Silly as I said, but then one should do silly things once in a while.

Here's to silliness.

Ye Bruce Lee kaa naheeN Osama kaa zamaanaa hai

Film : Contract

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Karim Ali (Ranjeev Verma)

Spoken to : Allwyn (Yasir Khan)

Allwyn is a henchman of RD. He is always showing off kick-boxing moves and he is also a Bruce Lee look alike. In one such face-off with another gangmember Karim Ali, Karim whips out a revolver and says

"ये ब्रूस ली का नहीं ओसामा का ज़माना है"

"Ye Bruce Lee kaa naheeN Osama kaa zamaanaa hai"

This is an obvious reference to the fact that UAC or unarmed combat is not effective in the age of AK47s.

Utarte huye sooraj meN bhee bahut tapish hai

Film : Jodha Akbar

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Sujamal (Sonu Sood)

Spoken to : Jodha (Aishwarya Rai)

Shujamal has been passed over for the kingship of Aamer. He leaves the court of Raja Bhaarmal (Kulbhushan Kharbanda) in a huff. Jodha tries to stop him, but he doesn't wait. But while leaving he says,

"to yaad rakhiyegaa jodhaa , utarte huye sooraj meN bhee bahut tapish hai"

"तो याद रखियेगा जोधा, उतरते हुये सूरज में भी बहुत तपिश है"

He later goes and meets Sharifuddin (Nikitin Dheer). Sharifudin agrees to put in a word for him, but he asks for Sujamal's support for attacking Akbar as a return favour.

Jo log dhoti pahante haiN na, vo doosroN kee saaRee naheeN utaarte

Film : Woodstock Villa
Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Mr. Chawla (Shakti Kapoor)

Spoken to : Sameer (Sikandar Kher)

Mr. Chawla is Sameer's landlord. He refers to Sameer's vulnerability and says

"Jo log dhoti pahante haiN na, vo doosroN kee saaRee naheeN utaarte"

Joke sunaayaa iskaa ye matlab naheeN kee joke kar rahaa thaa

Film : Woodstock Villa
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Sameer (Sikandar Kher)
Spoken to : Jatin Kampani (Arbaaz Khan)

Woodstock Villa is a film noire - a dark film. You keep wondering about the protagonist's real motives. Sameer kidnaps Jatin's wife and when he gives him a ransom call, tells him a joke. Later he uses this line to ensure that Jatin gets serious.

"Joke sunaayaa iskaa ye matlab naheeN kee joke kar rahaa thaa"

"जोक सुनाया इसका ये मतलब नहीं कि जोक कर रहा था"

Jab sar kaTne vaalaa hai to daaDhee karane se kyaa faaydaa

Film: Contract

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Goonga (Upendra Limaye)

Spoken to : IB operative (Vikas Shrivastav)

Goonga is an underworld don - who is the government's favourite. The intelligence bureau is pinning its hopes on him to eliminate the rival dons (viz., RD and Sultan). He is paranoid about his security and he runs his business and home from a boat which keeps moving around in the sea. However, all his plans to assassinate his rival RD are failing. And he is losing a lot of his men too. He is in a pensive mood and fiddling around with his electric shaver - but not using it. The IB operative asks him

"Aajkal tu shave-wave naheeN kar rahaa?

To which he responds

"Ab sar kaTne vaalaa hai to daaDhee karane se kyaa faaydaa"

"अब सर कटने वाला है तो दाढ़ी करने से क्या फ़ायदा"

Paani aur tamannaaoN kee taaseer ek hai

Film : Jodha Akbar
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Sharifuddin Hussain (Nikitin Dheer)
Spoken to : Sujamal (Sonu Sood)

When Sujamal is not crowned as the King of Aamer (though rightfully he should have), he rebels and leaves his erstwhile kingdom. He starts lobbying with neighbouring kings for his right. One such king is Sharifuddin. He agrees to help Sujamal, but asks him point blank as to what he can expect in return. Sujamal agrees to do anything for him. Sharifuddin says he should help him to attack Agra (i.e. Akbar himself). Sujamal is surprised, since Sharifuddin is married to Akbar's sister. Sharifuddin responds with this flowery dialogue

"jaante hain Sujamal, paani aur tamannaaoN kee taaseer ek hai. Aage baDhte jaanaa. Ab hame mukammal hindustaan chaahiye"
"जानते हैं सुजामल, पानी और तमन्नाओं की तासीर एक है. आगे बढ़ते जाना. अब हमे मुकम्मल हिन्दुस्तान चाहिये"

This is so true. I don't know about 'paanii', but 'tamannaa' keeps on growing. I guess that is the key to all progress in this world. And will be the key to all destruction too!