aur main koee vaalmiki to naheeN jo Daake chhoDe haiN to ramayan likh dii

Film : Haath ki Safaai

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Shankar (Vinod Khanna)

Spoken to :  Kamini (Hema Malini)

Dialogue writer : Salim Javed

It was Vaalmiki Jayanti yesterday. You would have faced a lot of traffic jams if you were in Delhi yesterday. Reminded me of this Salim Javed line that I have been planning to post for a while. Vaalmiki was of course famous for having written the epic Ramayan. But the other famous fact about him was that he was a highwayman who used to rob and kill travellers. He later (after a chance encounter with Narada) reforms and gives up robbery and takes to writing. When I see the kind of advances paid to ordinary writers these days, I can understand the thought behind this career switch. :)

The film is called Haath Ki Safaai and Shankar plays a crook in the film. Kamini is running away from Shankar when she realises that he is a crook and while trying to hide from his men and him, she goes and seeks refuge in his house without realising it. Shankar's wife Roma (Simi Garewal) sees a woman in distress and agrees to give her refuge. But very soon Kamini sees a large framed photo of Shankar in the hall and without realising that she could have walked into the wrongest house possible, she blurts out to Roma that the man in the photo is a goon. Roma refuses to believe and asks her to leave the house. As Kamini leaves the house, she is chased by Shankar and just as Shankar is about to get to Kamini, Roma (who must have been quietly following them) steps in and confronts Shankar. However, the strain of the situation is too much for Roma and she faints. Kamini helps Shankar to tend to Roma, till she has stabilised.

Later when Shankar sees that Kamini is still in the house, he apologises to her. He says,

"kaamini, maine jo tumhaare saath ab tak sulooq kiyaa hai tum... Khair, maafii maangnee to bahut aasaan hai, aur mai.n koii vaalmiiki to nahee.n, jo Daake chhoDe hai.n to raamaayaN likh dee. Romaa ne tumhe.n is ghar me.n panaah dii hai, jab tak tum chaaho, yahaa.n rah saktee ho. "

"कामिनी, मैंने जो तुम्हारे साथ अब तक सुलूक़ किया है, तुम...ख़ैर, माफ़ी मांगनी तो बहुत आसान है, और मैं कोई वाल्मीकि तो नहीं, जो डाके छोडे हैं तो रामायण लिख दी. रोमा ने तुम्हें इस घर में पनाह दी है, जब तक तुम चाहो, यहां रह सकती हो."

Now this situation is not all that great. But I quite like the line. The point being made is that it is not so easy for everyone to walk on the path of reform. Society might not be so kind to you. It might not give you another chance easily. Imagine a typical HR executive interviewing Valmiki.

"Well I see from your CV, that you have been a highwayman. And now you want to be a writer. How do you explain that?"

And the interview would have ended with the inevitable "We will get back to you". :)

If HR guys had been around then, we might not have had any RaamayaN.

doosre ko nahee.n uDne doongii

Film : Garm Havaa

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Amina (Gita later Gita Kak)

Spoken to : Shamshaad (Jalal Agha)

Dialogue writer : Kaifi Azmi

This was a brilliant film based on Ismat Chughtaii's short story. It is the story of a Muslim family which runs a shoe-making business in Agra circa 1948. Gradually all the relatives of Salim Mirza (Balraj Sahni) leave for Pakistan fearing discrimination in India. There are some very poignant scenes. During a family discussion where everyone is discussing a future in Pakistan; the youngest kid - 5 year old Munna asks a fantastic question

"abbaji pakistan me.n patang uDtee hai?"

For him all the other politico-religious questions were meaningless. Anyway, there were many such moments in this film. If you haven't seen it, do see it. 

Salim Mirza's daughter Amina is engaged to be married to her cousin Kazim. However,  Kazim too migrates to Pakistan. He does come back to take her away, but by then he is 'persona non grata' in India - because he is a Pakistani. He forgets to inform the local police station of his arrival and he is arrested and deported. He does not come back. 

Shamshaad is another local boy who is interested in Amina. But she is not interested in him. However, during one trip to the historical places around Agra, Shamshaad acts as a guide. He tries to put forth his suit repeatedly before Amina. But she spurns him. At a particular historical location, he stops and tells Amina a story of the Mughal Kingdom. The story goes like this -

"jaantee ho ek din, usee jagah par jahaan tum khaDee ho, Mehrunnisaa khaDee thee. 

aur yahaa.n. yahaa.n Saliim khaDaa thaa. uske dono.n haatho.n me.n kabootar the.

itne me.n jahaanpanaah ne Saliim ko yaad kiyaa. to Saliim ne dono.n kabootar uske haath me.n thamaa diye.

aur jab vo lauT ke aayaa...to usne dekhaa ki ek kabootar Gaayab thaa. to usne Mehrunnisa se poochhaa -

doosraa kabootar?

to Mehrunnisaa ne kahaa...vo to uD gayaa!

"जानती हो, एक दिन, उसी जगह पर जहां तुम खडी हो, मेहरुन्निसा खडी थी. और यहां, यहां सलीम खडा था. उसके दोनों हाथों में कबूतर थे. इतने में जहांपनाह ने सलीम को याद किया. तो सलीम ने दोनों कबूतर उसके हाथ में थमा दिये. और जब वो लौट कर आया...तो उसने देखा कि एक कबूतर ग़ायब था. तो उसने मेहरुन्निसा से पूछा - दूसरा कबूतर?

तो मेहरुन्निसा ने कहा...वो तो उड गया!

"Saliim ne poochhaa vo kaise? usne kahaa, aise..."

"सलीम ने पूछा वो कैसे? उसने कहा, ऐसे..."

And Shamshaad starts to make the gesture of releasing an imaginary pigeon. Right at that moment, Amina holds his hands and stops him from releasing the imaginary pigeon, and says,

"doosre ko nahee.n uDne doongee!"

"दूसरे को नहीं उडने दूंगी!" 

Few Hindi films have such parables included in them. 

lekin woh qissaa phir kabhii

Film : Manoranjan

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Dhoop Chhaon (Shammi Kapoor)

Spoken to : Train Passenger (MacMohan)

Dialogue writer : Abrar Alvi

Shammi Kapoor's directorial debut was a bold Indian version of Billy Wilder's 1963 classic Irma la Douce. Even this line is Abrar Alvi's Indianisation of Moustache's (Lou Jacobi) line - "But that's another story"

Dhoop Chhaon is a bartender who is travelling by train. He invites his co passengers Macmohan and a Parsi gentleman (on honemoon) to join him for a drink. And then starts talking about a street in Bombay called Manoranjan Street. After he has them hooked with the build up about the place, he very cleverly withdraws by saying

"lekin woh qissaa phir kabhee"

"लेकिन वो क़िस्सा फिर कभी"

Macmohan protests out loud with

"phir kabhii kyon saahab abhi sunaaiye, kyaa baat hai"

The Parsi gentleman also joins in and demands that the story be told. That's how the film starts. 

This line is repeated often in the film. When Ratan (Sanjeev Kumar) gets the idea of becoming his own double to get Nisha (Zeenat Aman) rid of her profession, Dhoop Chhaon says he too had done this earlier, when he had taken the agency of Bhimsaini oil and had picked up his own stock from the market in order to create demand. Just as he is about to launch into the full version, Ratan interrupts

'woh qissaa phir kabhee"
"वो क़िस्सा फिर कभी"

In another instance, Thingoo (Paintal) comes and asks Dhoop Chhaon why he is shooting darts so late. Dhoop Chhaon says that because it is Independence Day. A surprised Tingoo says it is 4th September not 15th August. Dhoopu says that was the day his dad died. And quickly adds

'lekin woh qissaa phir kabhee'

In another instance he tells Ratans he had once robbed a bank in Patna, a bank which belonged to his dad. And quickly adds

'lekin woh qissaa phir kabhee'

In another instance when Nisha protests that Dhoopu can't get her married to Nawab because he is not a real priest, he says that he has conducted many marriages ranging from king's marriages to their dog's marriages. He quickly adds

'lekin woh qissaa phir kabhee'

jab tak hai aashaa, tab tak hai gogia paashaa

Film : Patthar aur Paayal

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Shankar Dayal (Rajender Nath)

Spoken to : ChhoTe Thakur Ranjeet Singh (Dharmendra)

Ranjeet is a dacoit and he has come to drop off Asha (Hema Malini) at her house. So he has this interesting verbal encounter with Shankar. Ranjeet says,

"mai.n Aasha ko chhoDne aayaa hoo.n"

Shankar says

"Aasha ko to kabhee nahee.n chhoDnaa chaahiye; jab tak hai Aasha tak tak hai Gogia Pasha"

"आशा को तो कभी नहीं छोड़ना चाहिये, जब तक है आशा, तब तक है गोगिया पाशा"

aap jitnaa bhee zyaadaa soche.n, kam hee hogaa

Film : Chor Chor

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Hemlata (Leena Chandavarkar)

Spoken to : Aakaash (Vijay Anand)

This is one of the thrillers made reasonably well, which most people don't know about.

Hemlata has realised that she has feelings for Aakaash. He is lying sleepy and ill in his room in the guest house which is owned by Hemlata's mother. It is late in the night. Hemlata goes into his room to check on him. Aakaash says "log kyaa sochenge?". She says, she really does not care about that, but what will you think? He says that he can think quite a lot and read a lot of meaning into her action. She comes up with a great one liner. I think this is one of the better ways in which a Hindi film heroine has professed her love.

"aap jitnaa bhee zyaadaa soche.n, kam hee hogaa"

"आप जितना भी ज़्यादा सोचें, कम ही होगा"

mard aadmii khelte haiN baabu...dekhne vaaloN ko kyaa kehte haiN maaloom?

Film : Ankur

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Swami - A villager (Unidentified)

Spoken to : Surya (Anant Nag)

On Diwali day, three men come to Surya's house. He invites them to drink and gamble. They invite him to gamble along with them. Surya refuses, he says

"Aisaa karo tum log khelo - maiN dekhooNgaa"

"ऐसा करो तुम लोग खेलो - मैं देखूंगा"

Swami (one of the gamblers) retorts with

"mard aadmii khelte haiN babu, dekhne waaloN ko kyaa kehte haiN maaloom?"

"मर्द आदमी खेलते हैं बाबू, देखने वालों को क्या कहते हैं मालूम ? "

A classic hark back to the Sanskrit quotation

"उद्योगम् पुरुष लक्षणम् "

he wants to watch.

Bachche tum jis school meN paDhte ho hum uske headmaster rah chuke haiN

Film : Haath ki Safai

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Shankar (Vinod Khanna)

Spoken to : Raju (Randhir Kapoor)

One of the lesser known Salim-Javed films. Not as illustrious as some of their other output, but it too has its moments.

Raju or Raju Tardeo is a pick pocket. As he is relaxing in his area, one of his acolytes comes and informs him that there is a man in the neighbourhood who has 100 Rs notes in his wallet. All of them are very excited. I remember my dad used to get a monthly salary of Rs 100 those days, but to a youngster today, this might be a cause of great surprise. Inflation my dear friends!

Anyways, our hero is lured towards his target and as he attempts to pick Shankar's pocket, Shankar is quick to catch Raju's hand in the act. He chides him with a classic 'don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs' kind of line (the best I have heard in Hindi cinema). He says

"बच्चे तुम जिस स्कूल में पढ़ते हो हम उसके हॆड़मास्टर रह चुके हैं"
"bachche tum jis school me paDhte ho ham uske headmaster rah chuke haiN"

And he follows up by delivering the title of the film in the next line. He says

"aur is purse meN rupayoN se bhee zyaadaa ek keemtee cheez hai jise churaanaa aasaan naheeN, jaao apne haath meN aur safaai paidaa karo. jaao"

"और इस पर्स में रुपयों से भी ज़्यादा एक क़ीमती चीज़ है जिसे चुराना आसान नहीं, जाओ अपने हाथ में और सफ़ाई पैदा करो. जाओ"

Of course, the 'qeematee cheez' that Shankar is referring to is the photograph of his younger brother. And his younger brother is none other than Raju Tardeo. But then if he knew that then, 12 reels of the film would have been wasted. Or saved. Depending on where you stand about the film.

Vinod Khanna makes his debut on this blog. I often used to wonder that Vinod Khanna also was a good actor, was a six footer, was good looking, well built and yet people never gave him the status that Amitabh got. I just saw the statistics of this blog and found that till date there are 11 lines of Amitabh and Vinod just made his debut. I think I know the answer now.