LaDkaa pyaar to kartaa hai, surakshaa nahee.n de saktaa

Film : Haasil

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Ranvijay Singh (Irfan Khan)

Spoken to : Aniruddh Sharma (Anni) [Jimmy Shergill]

Dialogue writer : Tigmanshu Dhulia

One of my friends pointed out to me the fact that my blog doesn't feature any Irfan dialogue yet. I thought I must correct this with that dialogue (rather than conversation) which left a deep impact on me. I am an otherwise sane person, but if someone would have come and spoken to me the way Ranvijay did, I would have gone for the gun too. Irfan really made an impact with this film. Maqbool had too many people vying for the honours. 

The story has a sweet boy Anni who is in love with Niharika (Hrishita Bhatt - another favourite of mine). However, one of his rendezvous' with his lady love is interrupted by her brothers who bash him up. He goes to Ranvijay for solace and guidance. And this is what Ranvijay tells him, 

लडकी जो है, आदमी से प्यार करती है, और आदमी में अगर वीरता नहीं है, तो आदमी आदमी नहीं है.

लडकी के सामने उन लौंडों ने तुमको मारा और तुमने कुछ नहीं किया, तो लडकी समझेगी, 

"कि लडका प्यार तो करता है, सुरक्षा नहीं दे सकता"

"laDkaa pyaar to kartaa hai, surakshaa nahee.n de saktaa"

समझे. एक काम करो. लडकी के बाप को तो रहने दो. लेकिन उन दोनों लौंडों से हिसाब पूरा करो. निहारिका को लगे तो, उसका अन्नी आदमी है, ऐसे ही भोला भाला बबुवा नहीं है ख़ाली.

क्या करोगे?

Anni says,

करेंगे क्या? मारेंगे सालों को!

Ranvijay hands him a gun and lays the finishing touch to his advice with this line. 

ये रख लो. दिखाना, ख़ाली दिखाना, फट जायेगी, हौंक हौंक के मारना, दौडा दौडा के मारना सालों को. और सुनो! सुनो, आर्टिस्ट, जान से ना मार देना. हैं! इतना मारना, इतना मारना, कि तुम्हारी जान को लगे, कि तुममे जान है. सही कहा कि नहीं. 

"itnaa maarnaa, itnaa maarnaa, ki tumhaarii jaan ko lage, ki tumme jaan hai"

Jis insaan kaa maqsad sirf nuqsaan ho usse kisee kaa faayadaa nahee.n ho saktaa

Film : Maqbool

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Jahangir Khan (Pankaj Kapoor)

Spoken to :  Kaka (Piyush Mishra)

Dialogue writer : Vishal Bharadwaj

One of the most interesting relationships in Hindi cinema is the one between Jahangir Khan and Kaka. Jahangir is the mafia don. He gets an offer from a terrorist group for helping in a terrorist attack. The amount at stake is 30 crore rupees. He refuses the deal. Kaka is a bit surprised at his refusal. Jahangir explains it with this great line,

"Jis insaan kaa maqsad sirf nuqsaan ho usse kisee kaa faayadaa nahee.n ho saktaa"

"जिस इंसान का मक़सद सिर्फ़ नुक़्सान हो उससे किसी का फ़ायदा नहीं हो सकता"

lagtaa hai saarii Mumbai ke baaG noch Daale aapne

Film : Maqbool

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Nimma (Tabu)

Spoken to : Maqbool (Irfan Khan)

Maqbool is supervising the arrangements for Abbaji's daughter Sameera's wedding. When Nimma comes to the house and sees Maqbool supervising the flower decoration arrangement, she comments

"lagtaa hai saarii Mumbai ke baaG noch Daale aapne"

"लगता है सारी मुम्बई के बाग़ नोच डाले आपने"

There is a lot of sexual tension in this scene. Nimma is teasing him, praising him, complaining about him - almost all at once. All the actors in this film have done a fabulous job. I still believe this is Vishal Bharadwaj's best film till date.

shakti kaa santulan bahut zaroorii hai sansaar me.n

Film : Maqbool

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Inspector Pandit (Om Puri)

Spoken to : ACP Devsare (Murali Sharma)

ACP Devsare has been newly posted. A major shoot out has occurred in his jurisdiction. He asks the two officers PanDit and Purohit where they were on the night of the crime. They both claim they were on duty. Devsare is skeptical about their claim. He says, if that was indeed the case, the crime would never have been committed. PanDit responds with the classic

"phir to bahut baDaa crime ho jaataa sir. shakti kaa santulan bahut zarooree hai sansaar me.n. aag ke liye paanii kaa Dar bane rahnaa chaahiye"

"फिर तो बहुत बडा क्राइम हो जाता सर. शक्ति का संतुलन बहुत ज़रूरी है संसार में. आग के लिए पानी का डर बने रहना चाहिये"

The entire cold war was testimony to this adage. But we seem to be doing fine even in a unipolar world. 

ham to private company waalo.n ka namak khaate hai.n

Film : Dhoop

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Electricity department employee

Spoken to : Prof. Suresh Kapoor (Om Puri)

This film is based on a real life struggle of the father of a Kargil war hero to get a petrol pump allotted to him. It is a good film. Om Puri, Revathi and Gul Panag are excellent. The story moves along his travails with every department in getting the petrol pump. The electricity department also harasses him. Prof Kapoor tries to reason with him. He appeals to his patriotism and tells him that the petrol pump has been allotted due to compassionate reasons. But the cynical electricity department employee responds with

"is desh ka namak nahee.n khaate ji ham. ham to private company waalon ka namak khaate hai.n"

"इस देश का नमक नहीं खाते जी हम. हम तो प्राइवेट कम्पनी वालों का नमक खाते हैं"

I feel Tata missed a great in-film branding opportunity here!

gilauree khaayaa karo gulfaam, zabaan qaaboo me.n rahtii hai

Film : Maqbool
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Jahangir Khan (Pankaj Kapoor)
Spoken to : Jaywant Wadkar (Palekar)

Vishal Bharadwaj is fast on the way to becoming one of the greatest directors of Indian cinema, if his oeuvre continues to grow the way it is. Who would have thought that after listening to the Maachis soundtrack that behind this soundtrack is such a great director. There have been actors-turned director, editors turned director, cinematographer turned director, scriptwriter turned director, choreographer turned director, even lyricist turned director. Music directors have turned producer but never director. But this is the first instance of a music director who turned director. As they say, "der aayad durust aaye".

Jahangir Khan is a mafia don. Palekar is a local politician. Palekar goes to meet Jahangir Khan and offers to remove Chief Minister Bhonsle (Shammi Narang) provided Jahangir supports him. Jahangir is a strong believer in loyalties and is offended by this suggestion. But his face does not betray his thoughts. He calmly offers Palekar some 'paan'. Palekar refuses. Jahangir beckons Palekar closer. When he is close enough he pulls his head and thrusts a paan down his throat. Follows that up with this slam dunk line

"gilauree khaayaa karo gulfaam, zabaan qaaboo me.n rahtii hai"
"गिलौरी खाया करो गुलफ़ाम, ज़बान क़ाबू में रहती है"

Form bharnaa zarooree hai kyaa

Film : Munnabhai MBBS
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Murli prasad Sharma (Sanjay Dutt)
Spoken to : Dr J Dot Asthana (Baman Irani)


The occasion is the initial welcome lecture for all 1st year MBBS students. The dean, J dot Asthana finishes the speech, wishes everyone luck and asks the customary - "any questions" question. A hand goes up and says

"Yes sir. Yes. Wo baahar casualty me koii marne kee haalat me rahaa to usko form bharnaa zaroori hai kyaa"

"यॅस सर. यॅस. वो बाहर कॅशुयल्टी में कोई मरनी की हालत मे रहा तो उसको फ़ॉर्म भरना ज़रूरी है क्या"

A shocked dean is stunned to find the hand and the subsequent question belongs to none other than his bete noire Munna. He is too stunned to respond. He merely addresses the entire group and says,

"Tumhaaree classes kal subah aath baje shuru hogee. Thank you very much."

"तुम्हारी क्लासिज़ कल सुबह आठ बजे शुरु होंगी. थॅंक यू वॅरी मच"

The bureaucratic 'form' culture is so prevalent everywhere. If you want to use the documents available on a website, they will ask you to log in with a form. You want to add your name to the electoral roll, there is a form. Great. Now if the clerks mess it up and mangle your name, you need to fill another form to change the name on the card. It really becomes irritating at times. Even in private sector organisations (which are supposed to be dynamic), there are elaborate forms for getting two whiteboard markers from the stationery chest.

So next time you are part of some admin or ops shop, asks yourself this question before devising a form -

"ये फ़ॉर्म भरना ज़रूरी है क्या?"

Aye chinky tu bahut change ho gayelee hai re

Film : Munnabhai MBBS
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Munna (Sanjay Dutt)
Spoken to : Chinky (Gracy Singh)

Munna is in love with his childhood friend Chinky. He does not know how she looks like, but believes that she is still in love with him. The Chinky is actually none other than Dr Suman, one of the doctors in his hospital. Dr Suman panics when she finds out that Munna is interested in 'Chinky'. She decides to introduce her friend Neha Dubey as Chinky. Now Neha Dubey is a tube-tops-and-hot-pants girl who drinks, smokes and dances at night clubs. After meeting her, Munna is shocked. Shell-shocked. Even the normally unflappable Circuit is shocked. So how does Munna convey his dismay. He tells Neha

Chinky tu bahut change ho gayelee hai re

चिंकी तू बहुत चेंज हो गयेली है रे

Later when the real Chinky is discussing the meeting with Dr Asthana, they have a good laugh about it, by repeating this line again and again - almost like a shibboleth.

So if you meet an old friend and are dismayed about any sort of perceived negative change, this is a great line to use.

Yeh round and round jitnaa bhee bole to, center meN to baat wohee rahegee naa

Film : Munnabhai MBBS
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Murli Prasad ‘Munna’ Sharma (Sanjay Dutt)
Spoken to : Suman 'Chinky' Asthana (Gracy Singh)

Munna is leaving the campus, as he feels disillusioned after having met (who he thinks) 'Chinky'. As he is leaving, Suman (the real Chinky) stops him and says their last chat was incomplete. Munna says

Dekho tumko apun ke liye koi feelings nahee hai. Yeh round and round jitnaa bhee bole to, center me to baat wohi rahegee naa

देखो तुमको अपुन के लिये कोई फ़ीलिंग्ज़ नहीं है. ये राउंड ऍंड राउंड जितना भी बोले तो, सॅंटर में तो बात वोही रहेगी ना

Main bhee soch rahaa hooN health minister ban jaaooN

Munnabhai MBBS is another movie which will be a happy hunting ground for anyone writing such a blog. It is the simple story of a don (who calls himself a social worker) with a heart of gold. When his father is humiliated by the dean of a medical college, Munnabhai (Sanjay Dutt) makes up his mind to become a doctor. He lands up in the nearest college with his cronies to inquire about the process for admission to the MBBS course. They ask the first ward attendant that they see about the process of admission. The ward attendant thinks that they are referring to ‘admission’ as an inpatient. He refers them to the relevant window. When Circuit (Arshad Warsi) clarifies that they are referring to admission as a student, the ward attendant sniggers and says

मै भी सोच रहा हूं हेल्थ मिनिस्टर बन जाऊं

A great line if you want to disparagingly run down other people’s aspirations. Or if you see someone undeservedly reaching a high station, you could use it to give vent to your anger. After all, sarcasm is veiled violence. Isn’t it?

Yeh room to shuroo hote hee Khatam ho gayaa

Arshad Warsi had some memorable lines as Circuit in both the Munnabhais. This is one of them. Anyone who has ever stayed in Mumbai would immediately identify with this line. People in other metros also might identify with this line. Looking at the population explosion, even those staying in village might have need for using this line soon.

Circuit (Arshad Warsi) says this when Munnabhai (Sanjay Dutt) is going to move into his hostel room. Circuit – in a very Jeevesian character – goes armed with a fridge, TV and other accouterments to ensure that his master Munnabhai has a good stay. The moment he enters the room, he is very surprised that the room is so small. He tells Munna
“भाई ये रूम तो शुरू होते ही ख़तम हो गया यार”

Bas. Rulaayegaa kyaa

Munnabhai MBBS was one of the greatest hits of 2003. It is said that initially Shahrukh Khan was supposed to play the eponymous role that Sanjay Dutt eventually did with such elan. But apart from the commercial success that the film enjoyed, it was also a very well written movie with many memorable lines. The line featured here comes when Masood (the hospital sweeper played by Surendra Rajan) is cribbing about how many times he has to clean the same area in the hospital. Munnabhai (Sanjay Dutt) goes and gives him a big hug (or jaadoo kee jhappee) as he calls it and thanks him profusely. When he does that, Masood completely melts and his entire demeanour changes. As Munna continues reinforcing the positive message about his appreciation for what Masood does, Masood stops him short and says

"Bas. Rulaayegaa kyaa"

"बस. रुलायेगा क्या?"

Literally it means - enough, do you want me to break down and cry? But the figurative usage could be everytime, you have a discussion with a relative, a colleague or friend and that person is using a very sentimental tone. He could be praising you, thanking you or even referring to you - but in a sentimental or emotional manner. That is when you would say

"Bas rulaayegaa kyaa"

"बस रुलायेगा क्या"