HaTaa saawan kee ghaTaa

The 1995 Rangeela is probably the only 'normal' love story made by Ramgopal Verma. This is now a classic line and often used (especially by those in Mumbai). I do not know whether it was first written by Neeraj Vora (the writer of the film) or it existed in the street language of Mumbai prior to that. I suspect it existed before. It found fame and glory thanks to Aamir Khan (who incidentally was the initial Munnabhai). This sequence comes in the beginning of the movie when the character of Munna as the street smart struggler with dignity is being etched. Milee (Urmilaa Matondkar) who is a dancer in Saroj Khan's troupe and Munna's childhood friend, is coming back from a cancelled shooting. Munna sees her and invites her for a cuppa. She tells him that her shooting was cancelled because of a flimsy reason. Munna tells her that she should give up her work as it would not take her anywhere. Milee retorts,

पूरा दिन इधर उधर मस्ती करते घूमता रहता है. किसी अच्छी कम्पनी मे छोटी मोटी नौकरी कर ले
pooraa din idhar udhar masti karte ghoomtaa rehtaa hai. Kissi achchhee company me choti moti

naukree kar le.

And our hero responds with the featured line

अरे हटा सावन की घटा. किसी सेठ की गाडी मे बिस्किट खाने वाला कुत्ता बनने से अच्छा है, कि अपुन सडक पे मस्ती करेगा. अपनी मर्जी का मालिक, अपना राजा. क्या बोलता है पक्या (सही है बाप) ए मिली कहा चली.

Are hata saawan kee ghataa. Kisee seth kee gaadee me biskit khaane vaalaa kuttaa banne se achchhaa hai, ki apun sadak pe masti karegaa. Apnee marjee kaa maalik, apnaa raja. Kyaa boltaa hai pakyaa. (Sahee hai baap). Aye milee kahaan chalee

This is followed by the song. Yaaron sun lo zaraa. Incidentally this was AR Rahman's first original Hindi score. Till that time, his Tamil scores were being translated into Hindi. That resulted in 'wonderful' songs like 'paTTee rap' in Humse hai muqaablaa.

So if you want to peremptorily and summarily dismiss a suggestion or an idea, use this line. It is very powerful

हटा सावन की घटा

This incidentally marks Aamir Khan's debut on this blog.

Savere aankh kuchh der se khuli

I sometimes fear that Salim-Javed might chance upon this blog and ask me for royalty. I might have to close down the blog then. But till then I shall plod on. This is from Kaala Patthar. Dhanraj Puri (Prem Chopra) is the owner of the coal mine. His engineer Ravi Malhotra (Shashi Kapoor) is getting too big for his boots. He feels that the ‘shakti kaa santulan’ or the balance of power is best served if Vijay Pal Singh (Amitabh Bachchan) is pitted against Ravi. Hence he calls Vijay over for a chat and begins sweet talking him. Amitabh responds in his characteristic laconic style with this dialogue

आज बहुत गडबड हो गई सेठ साहब. सवेरे आंख कुछ देर से खुली. देख नही सका कि सूरज किस तरफ़ से निकला था.

Of course in this Salim Javed script, unlike as in Deewar, the Vijay and the Ravi are not at loggerheads. Probably there not being siblings helps. So Vijay decides not to go along with the Machiavellian Puri.

However, whenever someone is being incredibly nice to you. Or you want to be sarcastically incredulous about something. This is a good line to use

सवेरे आंख कुछ देर से खुली
Of course the follow up question would be,

“What does that mean?”

So continue borrowing from Salim-Javed and say

देख नही सका कि सूरज किस तरफ़ से निकला था
Dekh nahee sakaa ki sooraj kis taraf se nikalaa thaa

Incidentally I have got some feedback from some readers who said that since they are unable to read and/or understand Hindi, they are unable to understand the full post. I am very tempted to add a translation of the line as well, but I am not really able to make up my mind. This blog is meant for those who understand and read both languages. The basic communication is in English, but the specific dialogue is given in Hindi (with Roman transliteration). Do write in and let me know what you think about this.

Yeh room to shuroo hote hee Khatam ho gayaa

Arshad Warsi had some memorable lines as Circuit in both the Munnabhais. This is one of them. Anyone who has ever stayed in Mumbai would immediately identify with this line. People in other metros also might identify with this line. Looking at the population explosion, even those staying in village might have need for using this line soon.

Circuit (Arshad Warsi) says this when Munnabhai (Sanjay Dutt) is going to move into his hostel room. Circuit – in a very Jeevesian character – goes armed with a fridge, TV and other accouterments to ensure that his master Munnabhai has a good stay. The moment he enters the room, he is very surprised that the room is so small. He tells Munna
“भाई ये रूम तो शुरू होते ही ख़तम हो गया यार”

Hum jahaan khaDe hote hain line vaheeN se shuru hotee hai

Film : Kaalia
Year of release : 1981
Spoken by : Michael (Bob Christo)
Spoken to : A crippled prisoner (Ram Sethi)
Dialogue writer : Inder Raj Anand

This is a very famous “Amitabh” line from the 1981 movie Kaalia. But interestingly this line was never mouthed by him. It was actually said by the character called Michael (Bob Christo). Amitabh merely repeats the line as

हम भी वो हैं जो कभी किसी के पीछे नही खड़े होते. जहा खड़े हो जाते है लाइन वहीं से शुरु हो जाती है.
So technically, the line will have to be attributed to Bob Christo. Bob Christo was the standard fixture in all films which required a white villain. So much so that he became a stereotype. He was well-built and bald, and that accentuated his threat. In India, a deep voice and a good body were considered virtues for a ‘villain’ – till the new generation heroes like Salman and Sunil changed all that. This is a typical prison scene (which you would see in almost every second film), which is played out in this case in Central Jail Nasik. A crippled prisoner (Ram Sethi who sings the song ‘Kaun kisii ko baandh sakaa hai’) is standing in the queue for food. Just as he is about to take his food, his plate is snatched by Michael (Bob Christo). The crippled prisoner protests that Michael should stand in line. And what does Michael say. You guessed it right-

Hum jahaaN khaDe hote haiN line waheeN se shuroo hotee hai

Immediately after that all the other prisoners in the queue go and stand behind Michael. Of course the scene further develops into a fight and our hero – the big B – also comes into it and repeats the same line in his inimitable style. A similar line is part of Tamil film legend too. Rajnikant says in his 1999 superhit Padaiyappa – என் வழி  தனி வழி (En vazhi  tani vazhi) – which means something like 

हम भी दरया हैं हमें अपना हुनर मालूम है
जिस तरफ़ भी चल पडेंगे रास्ता हो जायेगा

So, whether you are charting your own course or jumping the queue, you could use this line. The latter option is fraught with the danger of receiving a spontaneous public beating.

Sar chhat ko chhoone lagaa hai aur aql ghuTano ke oopar nahee gayee

Kader Khan was another great writer and actor. If you want to learn voice modulation, there are few better people to emulate. The late 80s and early 90s were totally dominated by Kader Khan. Every second film would have dialogues by him or he would be the villain or the comedian. A truly versatile artist. The line featured here is from the 1981 film Kaalia. Starring Amitabh Bachchan ‘in and as’ Kaalia. Early on in the film, the dreaded don Kaalia is actually a simpleton – Kallu. He plays marbles with the neighbouring kids though he is well over twenty (well..close to 40 actually). One of his neighbours called Raamdeen (Mushtaq Khan) is blessed with a baby boy. Kallu goes around the town tom-tomming the news. He goes and enthusiastically communicates it to Narayan, another neighbour who has never been blessed with kids. Narayan gets irked and slaps Kallu. He also complains to Kallu’s elder brother Shaam (Kader Khan). When Shaam reaches home, Kallu is complaining to his sister-in-law Shanti (Asha Parekh) about Narayan. Shaam loses his cool and scolds Kallu with this line

सर छत को छूने लगा है और अक्ल घुटनो के ऊपर नही गयी

All of us know someone or the other, who is the befitting recipient of such a jibe. Kids, husbands, siblings, bosses. Oh sorry. Don’t use it for bosses. For other categories user discretion is recommended.

saamaan to uThaa lenge, aap ko kaun uThaayegaa

Film : Jab Pyaar Kisise Hotaa Hai
Year of release : 1998
Spoken by : Mahesh (Johnny Lever)
Spoken to : Old Man at Lovedale Railway station (unknown)
Dialogue writer : Javed Siddique

The 90s was a period that Johnny Lever dominated as a comedian. Especially the later part of the 90s. He was nominated 7 times during the 90s though he won it only twice. This post marks the debut of Johnny Lever on this blog.

In the 1998 film, Jab pyar kisi se hota hai, he plays the role of Mahesh. He, Suraj (Salman Khan) and Kabir (Aditya Narain) are standing on the Lovedale station railway platform. They have a lot of luggage with them and are looking around for a coolie. A very old man (looks older than Methuselah) approaches them and asks them

"saab mai.n saamaan uThaa loo.n"

“साहब मैं सामान उठा लूं ”

Mahesh replies with a deadpan expression

"saamaan to uThaa lenge, aap ko kaun uThaayegaa"
“सामान तो उठा लेंगे, आप को कौन उठायेगा”
I still laugh when I think of this line and the way Johnny Lever delivered it. There are times when some people – old or otherwise – proffer that they would do things which are beyond their normally estimated abilities. In every such situation you could use this line.

Tab tak laRkaa taiyyaar chaahiye

This is another beautiful line from the 1975 movie Aandhi. Although I think Suchitra Sen was an example of extremely bad casting. All the dialogues were mauled, molested and trampled twice over by her. But probably that was an effect Gulzar desired. There must be some creative satisfaction in writing great lines and seeing them trampled to death. Anyways, this is a beautiful scene where Aarti (Suchitra Sen) sends a telegram to her husband JK (Sanjeev Kumar) to tell him that she is pregnant. JK works as an Assistant Manager in a hotel and both of them stay together in the same house. Yet she sends him a telegram. JK receives the telegram when he reaches the reception of the hotel and is about to relieve his colleague. When he reads it, he breaks into a broad smile. He tells his colleague the news. After the customary congratulations, the colleague asks JK if he wants to respond. JK asks his colleague to reply with a telegram congratulating her and adding that he would reach by nine thirty that evening and then he delivers this classic line
“मैं शाम को साढे नौ बजे तक पहुंच जाऊंगा. तब तक लड़का तैयार चाहिये”
When his colleague ribs him that this wasn’t possible, JK retorts with
“You don’t know my wife यार. वो महीनों का काम दिनों मे करती है. She will do it just like that!”

So whenever you want a complex and long gestation project to be done quickly, you could use this line. ‘तब तक लड़का तैयार चाहिये’
A person I used to work with – while working on a project with a stiff deadline – sent me an sms which said – “A boss is a person who thinks that nine women working together can deliver a child in one month”. This line reminded me of that statement.

Duniyaa meiN aisaa koee qanoon nahee hai ki puraanaa aadmii Gaddaaree nahee kar saktaa

This is another line from the 1984 movie Duniya. Jugal Kishore aka JK (Pran) is the chief villain in the film. He is told that one of his trucks containing contraband goods has been captured by the police. He suspects one of his men. His aide protests and says they are all old hands. Pran retorts with
दुनिया में ऐसा कोई क़ानून नहीं है कि पुराना आदमी ग़द्दारी नही कर सकता
We all find solace in dealing with people we know. Often we meet an old friend from college and start trusting him from the word go. It is possible that he might have changed from the way he was in college. But it seems impossible to us because we are very comfortable with that person. Higher desires and ambitions might have completely changed the person. But the ‘puraanaa aadmii’ syndrome is rampant even in corporate India. I know you for 6 years and I know another person for 8 years. I think I will deal with the other person, since I know him longer. If such a situation confronts you, remember this line by Pran

Bhaiyye geetaa haath me leke jang nahee laRee jaa saktee

Gulzar's 1975 opus Aandhi. Of course the movie was controversial at that time due to the backdrop of emergency. And hence it is a seminal work for movies on politics and politicians. Very well written characters of Aarti Devi (Suchitra Sen) and JK (Sanjeev Kumar). This particular line is mouthed by Lalloo Laal (Om Prakash). The local newspaper of the town publishes the headline "Aarti's nights for hotel manager". I do wonder why did Gulzar have a newspaper titled "Zamaanaa" publish itself in English in a small town and worse - why did it have English in such atrocious language. But then I have a lot of grouse with Gulzar for this movie, which I shall refrain from getting into. Aarti is separated from her husband JK and they accidentally meet at the hotel after 9 years. Aarti has gone there for campaigning. The opposition sees it as an opportunity for mudraking and hence get this published along with photos. When Lalloo Laal (who is Aarti's chief campaign organiser) reads this, he goes berserk. He says the campaign is over for Aarti. The public will no longer vote for her. When another associate points out that it is Aarti's personal life and why should people agonise over it, Lalloo comes up with this masterpiece

भैय्ये गीता हाथ मे लेके जंग नहीं लड़ी जा सकती. भगवान किशन नहीं लड़ सके तो ये क्या लड़ेंगी.

Life is a continuous battle. Too much accent on morals is often misplaced. And whenever you find someone placing too much accent on morals and ethics, you could use this line

भैय्ये गीता हाथ मे लेके जंग नहीं लड़ी जा सकती.

Bhaiyye geetaa haath me leke jang nahee laRee jaa saktee

Bazaar mein patthar uchhaal deejiye to zyaadaatar chance yeh hai, ki kisee ravi ke sir pe hee giregaa patthar

Time for some self-indulgence. Ravi is a very common Indian name. And this line does bring the extent of commonness of the name home. This is from one of Javed Akhtar's initial films after his breakup with Salim Khan. You do get some flavour of Salim Javed, but you also feel that the entire 70s was when that couple was on its 'उरूज' or zenith.

The movie being referred to here is the 1984 movie Duniya. Ravi Kumar (Rishi Kapoor was actually called that in this film he he he) goes into a swanky restaurant where Mohan Kumar (Dilip Kumar) has a luncheon date with his friend's daughter Roma (Amrita Singh). He has sights on Roma's purse which he knows contains Rs 10000 in cash. While Roma is waiting in the restaurant for Mohan, Ravi goes in and starts working his charm on her. When Mohan comes in, Roma introduces him to Ravi. Mohan meets him warmly and remarks that he too once knew a Ravi (a reference to the fact that his son was also called Ravi). Our hero Ravi remarks

"जी हां सर ये बात मैने भी नोट की है. कि दुनिया में रवि नाम के इंसान कुछ ज़्यादा ही हैं. अब तो हाल ये है कि अगर आप बाज़ार में पत्थर उछाल दीजिये, तो ज़्यादातर चांस ये है, कि किसी रवि के सर पर ही गिरेगा पत्थर"

"Jee haan sir yeh baat maine bhee note kee hai. Ki duniyaa mein ravi naam ke insaan kuchh zyaadaa hee hain. Ab to haal yeh hai ki agar aap bazaar mein patthar uchhaal deejiye, to zyaadatar chance yeh hai ki kisee ravi ke sir pe hee giregaa patthar"

So if you happen to be a Ravi and face a comment like 'oh I knew so and so; he was also called Ravi", use this. Alternatively you could use this to rib any of your friends or colleagues called Ravi. And if you don't know anyone called Ravi, you have a very sad life.

Race car naheeN...chalaane waalaa jeetataa hai

Have you seen two companies with similar pedigree and financial backing in a competing marketplace. One of them sometimes forges far ahead of the other. Leaves you wondering - what have they got that the one company got, that the other hasn't. More often than not, the difference is made by the man at the helm. The CEO or MD or President or Head - by whatever name the head honcho is called. So in a race if one driver is given a Ferrari and the other has a Ford, who would win. Did you say Ferrari? Think again. As Ranvir Singh a.k.a Ronnie (Saif Ali Khan) says,

रेस कार नहीं...चलाने वाला जीतता है

In the climax of the movie Race, the two brothers Ronnie and Rajiv (Akshaye Khanna) decide to race each other on the car racing turf to settle the owner of the 100 million dollar booty. When Rajiv (who has driven in a Ford like car) sees Ronnie driving a Ferrari like car, he protests and says that Ronnie has a faster car. Ronnie very stylishly hands the keys of his Ferrari like car to Rajiv and says

Race car naheeN...chalaane waalaa jeetataa hai

The consequent turn of events prove him right.

My pain is my destiny and I can't avoid it

One of Amitabh's specialities is his ability to speak both Hindi and English with EQUAL elan. I am stressing upon the word equal. वो जब बोलते हैं तो ऐसा नही लगता कि किसी भाषा पर एहसान कर रहे हों. And that in my opinion would be a perennial difference between Amitabh and all the other superstars who came before or after him. His ability to deliver fantastic Urdu/Hindi dialogues is well known, but you should watch out for the English nuggets that he throws in. He still pronounces the English words properly - as an English native speaker would. So here is a famous Amitabh line in English.

Dr Sudha (Raakhee Gulzar) is a doctor who is committed to serving in areas where medical services normally do not reach easily. Hence she is working in Dhanraj coal mines. Vijaypal Singh (Amitabh Bachchan) is a worker in the mine. One day he is injured in an accident and brought to Dr Sudha's dispensary. She looks at him and says that since a lot of coal dust seems to have entered his wounds, cleaning the wounds would be very painful and hence she would administer local anasthesia. Vijay says that she can go ahead and bandage the wound without the anasthesia. Now the brilliant interaction. Some people use English while speaking in Hindi to assert supremacy or to try and close the argument. It is as if, now I have said this in English and hence this is the last word. Dr Sudha (probably unknowingly) does that. She says

"Why don't you understand?"

Vijay lets go of his brooding demeanour to explode for a moment and says

"Why don't YOU understand Doctor. My pain is my destiny and I can't avoid it"

He says it in such chaste English (much better than Raakhee's heavily accented English anyways) that Raakhee knows that it brooks no further argument. She goes ahead and dresses the wound without anasthesia.

Now you must be wondering where the hell can we use this line. You certainly do not want to tell the doctor to dress wounds without anasthesia. It will pain like hell. Believe me. you don't want to do that. But I have used this line so many times. I normally do not pop a pain killer whenever I am in pain. I bear it patiently. I have had many solicitous colleagues ask me why don't I take a painkiller. Lo and behold. Pat comes my answer

"My pain is my destiny and I cannot avoid it"

And you thought this line could not be used in daily life.

YaheeN to maat khaa gayaa naa India

When I first saw this film on Doordarshan years back, I remember thinking to myself - Man! Smita Patil is for sure a good actress, but Rajesh Khanna is a very good actor himself! J Om Prakash (Hrithik's papa sasur) is famous for starting all his films with 'A' and for great music in his movies. It is rumoured that he earns over a couple of lacs every month just from the royalty of the music in his movies. This film too had good music, but it was a better film. This line is the 'takia kalaam' or pet phrase of Alok Nath (Rajesh Khanna) in this movie. Whenever he had to object to a particular statement or behaviour - he would interject and say

यहीं तो मात खा गया ना इंडिया

YaheeN to maat khaa gayaa naa India

I quite liked the way he said it. I have used it whenever a friend or a colleague has made emotional statements or cynical statements or despairing statement. In fact it can be used in any situation - India is quite a large and heterogeneous country. So if you want to disagree with a colleague or a friend or a relative who is an Indian, use this

यहीं तो मात खा गया ना इन्डिया

Incidentally this is the first Rajesh Khanna line featured on this blog. The original superstar thus makes his debut here.

The Hindi translation tool from Google

I wanted to add the Hindi translation option to my blog. So that people who preferred reading it in Hindi could do so. I was happy to find that Google had a translation tool that automatically allowed you to translate pages. I was curious to find how it would work. Well here is a link to the translation of this blog.

http://translate.google.com/translate?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmedobe.blogspot.com&hl=en&ie=UTF8&sl=en&tl=hi

In case the link does not work, please go to this site

http://translate.google.com/translate_t

Enter the following link in the translate web page box

http://medobe.blogspot.com

Choose English as the source language and Hindi as the target language. Enjoy the results.

Main anaar khaa rahaa hooN to aap mujhe anaaRee to nahee samajh rahe

This is a good line from the 2008 movie Race. The film is of course a blatant copy from Roland Joffe’s 1998 film noir Goodbye Lover. But then Abbas Mustan have constructed their entire career with what we call DVD remakes. Coming back to the line, the movie is all about claiming insurance money. The detective Robert D’Costa a.k.a. RD (Anil Kapoor) refers to the 50 million USD (roughly Rs 200 crores) insurance money while interrogating Rajeev Singh (Akshay Khanna) younger brother of the deceased Ranveer Singh (Saif Ali Khan).. Rajeev responds by saying that the policy had been taken out a long time ago and he doesn’t even remember it. It is indeed a facetious remark to make. You do not ‘forget’ about the existence of a Rs 200 crore insurance policy.

RD has this habit of eating fruit all the time. When he asks Rajeev about the insurance policy, he is eating a pomegranate (anaar). He pauses and remarks

main anaar khaa rahaa hooN to aap mujhe anaaRee to nahee samajh rahe

मैं अनार खा रहा हूं तो आप मुझे अनाड़ी तो नहीं समझ रहे
This line can be used whenever someone is trying to pull a fast one on you. It becomes even more effective if you are actually eating a pomegranate. But that is not likely to happen so regularly. Nonetheless, whenever I have a pomegranate next time, I am going to think of this line. It is like anyone who has a shower behind shower curtains is going to remember the Psycho scene.

Aaj kal biscuit ko bhee Parle jee kehte haiN

Time for that motor mouth Nana Patekar to make his debut on this blog.

I come across a lot of people who when talking to young girls routinely make statements like

"jee lagaane kee koee zaroorat nahee hai aap mujhe sirf 'ravi' keh saktee haiN".

They never make such statements when talking with men. A very good line to use in such a situation is featured in this post. This is from the 2008 movie Welcome. Uday Shetty (Nana Patekar) is a don who is trying to get his sister Sanjana (Katrina Kaif) married. But his reputation always precedes him and strikes a telling blow to the prospective alliance. Dr Ghunghroo (Paresh Rawal) has been threatened by another goon Majnu (Anil Kapoor) who has asked him for Rs 5 crores as protection money or haftaa. He goes to Uday Shetty for succour. Uday immediately sends for Majnu and the moment Majnu arrives, Uday chastises him for having harassed Dr Ghunghroo.

Uday: Ghunghroo jee mere...

Dr Ghunghroo: jee??...jee mat kahiye

Uday: arre aise kaise. aajkal biskuT ko bhee Parle jee kehte hain... aap to itne nek haiN

So when faced with any situation as mentioned earlier, or in any situation where you are facing faux respect, you can use this line.

अरे ऐसे कैसे ...आजकल बिस्कुट को भी पार्ले जी कहते हैं ... आप तो इतने नेक हैं

Angrezii meN bhee jhooTh boltaa hai koee

Film : The Blue Umbrella
Year of release : 2005
Spoken by : Robot owner (Deepak Dobriyal)
Spoken to : Nandkishore Khatri (Pankaj Kapoor)
Dialogue writer : Vishal Bharadwaj

This is a beautiful line from the movie The Blue Umbrella (2005). Vishal Bharadwaj has two pets – one is Shakespeare and the other are kids. So in between his Macbethian an Othellesque outings he does the Makdees and the Blue Umbrellas. The film is pretty much a simple film. I would say a tele serial with a few songs woven in. But I found this sparkling line in that film

अंग्रेज़ी में भी झूठ बोलता है कोई?
It is actually the opening scene of the film, where NandKishore Khatri (Pankaj Kapoor) – the proprietor of Khatri Tea Stall – is shown listening to a recorded fortune telling session. The person running the contraption - the robot owner (Deepak Dobriyal) tells Nandkishore (as he does not understand a word of English) that the tape is saying that he is going to be as rich as Bill Gates – a billionaire. He says

अरे खज़ाना मिलने वाला है तुझे
Nandkishore says

ये बोला इसने?
The Robot owner retorts

हां और वो भी अंग्रेज़ी में. अंग्रेज़ी में भी झूठ बोलता है कोई?
Fantastic line. Given that the greatest lies in this country are probably crafted and delivered in English. But that is more due to the fact that it has become the language of commerce in India and veracity and commerce don’t go hand in hand. Nonetheless, whenever you want to convince someone – deliver your pitch in English and add for effect
अंग्रेज़ी में भी झूठ बोलता है कोई?

KaanToN ko murjhaane kaa Khauf nahee hotaa

Mughal-e-Aazam once more. I think this film is amazing. No wonder it took 20 years in the making. This line comes after the famous qawwali - Teri mehfil mein qismat aazmaa ke hum bhee dekhenge. This is actually played out as a competition between Bahar (Nigar Sultana) and Anarkali (Madhubala). Finally when it is time to judge - Salim (Dilip Kumar) hands over the petals of the rose to Bahaar and the thorns to Anarkali. She comes up with this beautiful line

कांटों को मुर्झाने का ख़ौफ़ नहीं होता

kaanToN ko murjhaane kaa Khauf naheeN hotaa

So whenever you are in a situation of despair, you could have nothing more to lose. Something like that famous joke "shani teraa kyaa bigaaD legaa". Use this line.

JaaT maraa tab jaaniye jab terahvee ho jaaye

This is a quote from an unlikely source. Kamalahaasan keeps making movies in which he has strange get ups. Right from the dwarf in Appu Raja to the women in Chaachi 420 to the old man in Hindustani. And you have to hand it to him. He is the only major star in Indian cinema, who takes his make up seriously. He is currently working on a film called Dashaavataaram where he will play 10 roles. But in the year 2001 he came out with a movie called AaLavandaan (आळवन्दान ஆளவந்தான்) where he played a double role of an army officer and his deranged long lost twin brother (Abhay Kumar). It was also simultaneously released in Hindi as Abhay. The Abhay Kumar character had a bald pate, grotesque tattoos, dangerous dagger with serrated edges and a pronounced preference for the soliloquy. In one such soliloquy - he rants and narrates a long poem. But the last line of the poem is the line featured here

जाट मरा तब जानिये जब तेरहवी हो जाए

JaaT maraa tab jaaniye jab terahvee ho jaaye

Now this is not a blog on sociology and casteism - so the line has to be understood in that spirit. This is of course not a film dialogue in itself - it is a proverb. But it is a less known proverb and hence I am featuring it here. So whenever you are beaten in a game or at work, but believe you can bounce back. Or if you see someone who has that capability you can use this line. For the eternal never say die spirit - not even when you are dead. तेरहवी of course is a reference to the obsequies that are held on the 13th day after death in India. So technically you would have been dead for thirteen days on your terahvee or tervee as some people call it.

PaanDavoN waalee shart mat lagaaiye

In ChakDe India (2007), there is a scene when Kabir Khan (Shahrukh Khan) challenges the Hockey federation to a match between the men's and women's hockey team. The background is that the federation has just dropped the bombshell that due to funds shortage - only one team could go to the World Cup. And since the women's team were no hopers - they would obviously be left out. That's when a desperate coach Kabir throws this challenge. The hockey federation member Tripathi (Anjan Srivastav) sniggers and says

पाण्डवों वाली शर्त मत लगाइये - चीर हरण न हो जाये

Of course the reference is to Mahabharat and the game of dice which ended in the Pandavs losing everything - even their wife Draupadi who was molested in full public view. So Tripathi is referring to that instance. But the line is good. You can use it metaphorically whenever you think that the challenge or bet that is being accepted by a person, would lead to his ruin. You could say (with or without a snigger)

PaanDavoN waalee shart mat lagaaiye

पाण्डवों वाली शर्त मत लगाइये

Deen mein daaDhee hotee hai daaDhee mein deen nahee

Great line from Khuda Kay Liye (2008). Uttered by Maulaanaa Walee (Naseeruddin Shah), when he is testifying in a court case. Whenever a symbol grows in importance to such an extent that you end up missing the wood for the trees, you could use this line. I remember an example when my uncle did not count the number of Gaayatri chants that he did - while other members of my family used to keep one counter for tens, one for hundreds and one for thousand. I asked him why was he cheating and not counting. He said, it is important to remember god - not important to count. Many years later Naseer has caught the same thought with this line

दीन में दाढी होती है, दाढी में दीन नहीं

Shahenshaahon ke insaaf aur zulm mein kis qadar kam farq hotaa hai

I am falling in love with Mughal-e-Aazam (1960). This line is uttered by Sangtaraash (the sculptor played by Kumar) when Akbar (Prithviraj Kapoor) offers to reward him with Anarkali. He has sent Salim away to Deccan to fight and in the meanwhile wants to ensure that the object of Salim's affection is safely put away. What better than to get her married to an aged sculptor. Sangtaraash refuses the offer (though not to Akbar's face). But not before he has delivered this line. If you come across a decision from someone in power, which is not entirely fair, use this line. Usage of the word 'shahenshaah' will surely placate him and he might reconsider his decision. It worked for me. Might work for you. Try it.

शहंशाहों के इंसाफ़ और ज़ुल्म में किस क़दर कम फ़र्क़ होता है

Varnaa kyaa

A great line from the 1978 superhit Pati Patni aur Woh. I think this was the only comedy in the career of Baldev Raj Chopra (Yashraj Chopra's elder brother). He was more famous for his social films and thrillers. A standard tale (though uncommon at that time) of a husband, wife and the 'other' woman (the mistress), it also featured that very famous comedy song - ThanDe ThanDe paani se nahaanaa chaahiye".

The film starts around the time when Ranjeet Chaddha (Sanjeev Kumar) gets married to Sharda (Vidya Sinha). Ranjeet's friends tell him that in matters of the wife, the husband should always bat on the front foot and dominate her from the word go. They use a very quaint phrase for it - they call it "billii maarnaa" बिल्ली मारना.

Ranjeet takes their advice and constantly threatens Sharda. He tells her to do something quickly and ends the order with a very stentorian sounding

"varnaa" वर्ना

Whenever Sharda hears the 'varnaa' she completes the order on the double. However, one day when Ranjeet tells her that he has an early morning tour the next day and he wants hot water ready by 5 am. As is his wont. he adds the customary 'varnaa' in a threatening tone. Sharda loses her patience and turns around and asks Ranjeet

वर्ना क्या...?

varnaa kyaa...?

And a sheepish Ranjeet says

"वर्ना मै ThanDe paanee se hee nahaa लूंगा"

" varnaa maiN ThanDe paanee se hee nahaa loongaa"

So if you are being constantly bullied by someone - your boss, your spouse, your sibling - whoever. And you want to call his/her bluff, go ahead and say

"वर्ना क्या..."

Pehla order cancel

Sholay is a true classic. There is a scene where Dharmendra is threatening to commit suicide. A character standing below asks another person standing nearby

"Yeh su-side kyaa hotaa hai" (As an aside, I wonder why the entire Hindi news channel industry insists on pronouncing this word as 'su-side'. Probably it is the effect of Sholay :))

Back at the ranch,

The person standing nearby responds

"Jab angrez marte hain to use su-side kehte hain"

And this character responds with a classic line

"Yeh angrez log marte kyoN hain"

I often see how Indians still suffer from an inferiority complex vis-a-vis the White Man. This line is symptomatic of that attitude. But I am digressing. The reason I wrote this was because when you watch this scene you want to know who those characters are - I mean their real names. Unfortunately I do not know and have been unable to find out hitherto. So if anyone reading this knows, please do write in. That is what a classic does. It makes you want to know such rare trivia too.

But the line featured here is not from that famous 'su-side' scene. That I will feature later. In fact the entire screenplay of Sholay will one day be found on this blog - drop by drop - bit by bit.

रेज़ा रेज़ा लख़्त लख़्त

This line is from the famous jail break scene, where Jai (Amitabh Bachchan) and Veeru (Dharmendra) take the jailor (Asrani) as hostage. Veeru sticks a wooden stick into the jailor's back and claims it to be a pistol. He tells the jailor that he should not move an inch. A terrified jailor stands rooted to the spot. Then Veeru says that he should escort both of them to the main gate of the jail. The fastidious and hairsplitting 'angrezoN ke zamaane kaa' jailor points out that he can't quite do that as they had ordered him to stay put. With extreme sang-froid (which is characteristic of him), Jaidev says

"Pehla order cancel...chalo"

"पहला ऑर्डर कॅंसल...चलो"

This is an excellent order to use whenever you do a flip flop. A volte face. So if you tell your wife or kids or colleagues or subordinates to do something and then later change it entirely...go ahead and say

"पहला ऑर्डर कॅंसल"

You could also use this at a restaurant though, but you are unlikely to be popular in that restaurant.