Chapraasee ke kaan oopar ke baraasee aur neeche ke teraasee

Film : Bunty aur Babli
Year of release : 2005
Spoken by : Dashrath Singh (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Phoolwati (Pratima Kazmi)

This is a line that I do not understand, but am still posting it with the message

अगर इसे समझ सको मुझे भी समझाओ

Then why am I posting it here. Because I liked the line for its unique sound.

The situation is that Dashrath Singh is called into investigate the "sale" of Taj Mahal, which by the way is Amar Singh's dig at Mayawati. The chief minister of Uttar Pradesh is called Phoolsakhee which sounds suspiciously close to Mayawati. In fact, Pratima Kazmi even looks like Mayawati in this movie.

Back at the ranch, Dashrath Singh immediately zeroes in onto the fact that this could not have been done without internal collusion. He further zeroes in onto the peon or चपड़ासी as it is called in Hindi. His logic is

"chapraasee ke kaan oopar ke baraasee aur neeche ke teraasee"

"चपड़ासी के कान ऊपर के बरासी और नीचे के तेरासी"

I think he means that a peon is most clued onto the various goings-on in an organisation. I remember the comment made by one of my bosses. He used to say that an organisational rots either at the head or at the bottom. A peon is privy to so much information at times. I would also put cab drivers in the same league. In my previous organisation, the cab driver used to listen very intently to what everyone was saying and within six months, he knew more about the company strategy than the CEO himself.

Though you cannot use it anywhere, and I do not really know what this means, but what the heck. Here it is. Do put in a comment if you know what it means.

Koee bhee faislaa chunaav se honaa chaahiye dabaav se naheeN

इसे हिन्दी में पढने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film: Sarkaar
Year of release : 2005
Spoken by : Rashid (Zakir Hussain)
Spoken to : An associate

Rashid is hatching a plan to kill Subhash Nagare (Amitabh Bachchan), along with Virendra Swami (Jeeva) and Vishram Bhagat (Raju Mavani). One of their associates is appalled at the idea and says so. He says he will have nothing to do with such a crazy plan. He starts walking out of the room. As he walks out, he catches the steely look in Rashid's eyes. He suddenly realises that he is about to be killed. He pleads with Rashid that he will keep his mouth shut and they could trust him completely. But he (and the audience), realise that his murder is almost fait accompli. Rashid walks up to him and plunges a dagger into his intestines. As he turns around the dagger, he very pithily adds,

"कोई भी फ़ैसला चुनाव से होना चाहिये दबाव से नहीं"

"koee bhee faislaa chunaav se honaa chaahiye dabaav se naheeN"

Angrezii meN bhee jhooTh boltaa hai koee

Film : The Blue Umbrella
Year of release : 2005
Spoken by : Robot owner (Deepak Dobriyal)
Spoken to : Nandkishore Khatri (Pankaj Kapoor)
Dialogue writer : Vishal Bharadwaj

This is a beautiful line from the movie The Blue Umbrella (2005). Vishal Bharadwaj has two pets – one is Shakespeare and the other are kids. So in between his Macbethian an Othellesque outings he does the Makdees and the Blue Umbrellas. The film is pretty much a simple film. I would say a tele serial with a few songs woven in. But I found this sparkling line in that film

अंग्रेज़ी में भी झूठ बोलता है कोई?
It is actually the opening scene of the film, where NandKishore Khatri (Pankaj Kapoor) – the proprietor of Khatri Tea Stall – is shown listening to a recorded fortune telling session. The person running the contraption - the robot owner (Deepak Dobriyal) tells Nandkishore (as he does not understand a word of English) that the tape is saying that he is going to be as rich as Bill Gates – a billionaire. He says

अरे खज़ाना मिलने वाला है तुझे
Nandkishore says

ये बोला इसने?
The Robot owner retorts

हां और वो भी अंग्रेज़ी में. अंग्रेज़ी में भी झूठ बोलता है कोई?
Fantastic line. Given that the greatest lies in this country are probably crafted and delivered in English. But that is more due to the fact that it has become the language of commerce in India and veracity and commerce don’t go hand in hand. Nonetheless, whenever you want to convince someone – deliver your pitch in English and add for effect
अंग्रेज़ी में भी झूठ बोलता है कोई?

Dekh rahaa hoon aapkaa research kaafii extensive hai

Film : Iqbal
Year of release : 2005
Spoken by : Mohit (Naseeruddin Shah)
Spoken to : Satish Bhatavadekar (D Santosh)
Dialogue writer : Nagesh Kukunoor

A smart alec once said - there are three kinds of lies; lies, white lies and statistics. Since research leans so much on statistics, a lot many uncharitable things have been said about research as well. However, the dialogue featured here is a very unlikely kind of line that you would find in a Hindi commercial film. Now, under normal circumstances you would not associate such a line with Hindi films. But, you find god in the strangest kinds of places, places where you never would have looked. This line is from the 2005 Nagesh Kukunoor movie Iqbal.
The movie is about a deaf and mute young lad Iqbal Khan (played by Shreyas Talpade), who is a very talented fast bowler and wants to play for India. When he finally makes it to the Andhra Pradesh Ranji team and is sitting in the pavilion, he is accosted by a gentleman called Satish Bhatavadekar (played by D Santosh). Mr Bhatavadekar represents a sports management firm called Media Partners which specialises in promoting sportsmen. Mr Bhatavadekar sits right next to Iqbal, introduces himself and goes on to tell him that his firm believes in extensive research. They have been tracking Iqbal since the day he set foot on a cricket ground. After he has spoken for a while, Mohit Suri (Naseeruddin Shah) - Iqbal's coach intervenes - and tells him that Iqbal cannot hear or speak. Mr Bhatavadekar is shocked and says
"kyaa baat kar rahe hain aap"
to which Mohit responds with this great line
"Dekh rahaa hoon aapkaa research kaafii extensive hai"
देख रहा हूं आपका रीसर्च काफ़ी एक्स्टेंसिव् है
The obvious meaning of this line is that "I can see that your research is quite extensive". But metaphorically it can be used whenever anyone speaks as if he is very knowledgeable about something, though it is obvious that he does not know the first thing about it.