lekin kaam kuchh aisaa hai, ki mujhe aise hee aadmiyo.n kee zaroorat hai

Film : Sholay

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Thakur Baldev Singh (Sanjeev Kumar)

Spoken to : Jailor (Vikas Anand)

Dialogue writer : Salim Javed

I have always held that the entire screenplay of Sholay would walk into this blog. This is a classic line for an HR person writing a JD, or a line manager asking for a particular type of candidate. Because sometimes even in hardcore corporate jobs, unconventional people are required. 

This is the opening sequence of this great movie which will soon be released in 3D. I hope they do a good job technically. This is a film that deserves to be remade, recreated, digitally enhanced, etc etc etc. 

Thakur asks Ramlal to show a photo to the jailor and asks him if he recognises the men in the photo.

"inhe.n pehchaante hai.n aap?"

The Jailor responds with,

"Thakur sahab shayad hee koee aisaa jail ho, jisme.n ye dono.n naa gaye ho.n. ye veeru hai aur ye jaidev. dono.n ke dono.n pakke badmaash. ek nambar ke chor. chha.nTe hue GunDe hai.n"

Then with a sigh, Thakur comes up with this gem,

"jaantaa hoo.n lekin kaam kuchh aisaa hai, ki mujhe aise hee aadmiyo.n kee zaroorat hai"

"जानता हूं, लेकिन काम कुछ ऐसा है, कि मुझे ऐसे ही आदमियों की ज़रूरत है"

The discussion continues with the jailor saying that he does not know what kind of job he wants them for, but they are rotten to the core. Or as he puts it, 

"khoTaa sikkaa to dono.n hee taraF se khoTaa hotaa hai"

Thakur comes up with another gem,

"sikke aur insaan me.n shaayad yahee farq hai"

"सिक्के और इंसान में शायद यही फ़र्क़ है"

LaDkaa pyaar to kartaa hai, surakshaa nahee.n de saktaa

Film : Haasil

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Ranvijay Singh (Irfan Khan)

Spoken to : Aniruddh Sharma (Anni) [Jimmy Shergill]

Dialogue writer : Tigmanshu Dhulia

One of my friends pointed out to me the fact that my blog doesn't feature any Irfan dialogue yet. I thought I must correct this with that dialogue (rather than conversation) which left a deep impact on me. I am an otherwise sane person, but if someone would have come and spoken to me the way Ranvijay did, I would have gone for the gun too. Irfan really made an impact with this film. Maqbool had too many people vying for the honours. 

The story has a sweet boy Anni who is in love with Niharika (Hrishita Bhatt - another favourite of mine). However, one of his rendezvous' with his lady love is interrupted by her brothers who bash him up. He goes to Ranvijay for solace and guidance. And this is what Ranvijay tells him, 

लडकी जो है, आदमी से प्यार करती है, और आदमी में अगर वीरता नहीं है, तो आदमी आदमी नहीं है.

लडकी के सामने उन लौंडों ने तुमको मारा और तुमने कुछ नहीं किया, तो लडकी समझेगी, 

"कि लडका प्यार तो करता है, सुरक्षा नहीं दे सकता"

"laDkaa pyaar to kartaa hai, surakshaa nahee.n de saktaa"

समझे. एक काम करो. लडकी के बाप को तो रहने दो. लेकिन उन दोनों लौंडों से हिसाब पूरा करो. निहारिका को लगे तो, उसका अन्नी आदमी है, ऐसे ही भोला भाला बबुवा नहीं है ख़ाली.

क्या करोगे?

Anni says,

करेंगे क्या? मारेंगे सालों को!

Ranvijay hands him a gun and lays the finishing touch to his advice with this line. 

ये रख लो. दिखाना, ख़ाली दिखाना, फट जायेगी, हौंक हौंक के मारना, दौडा दौडा के मारना सालों को. और सुनो! सुनो, आर्टिस्ट, जान से ना मार देना. हैं! इतना मारना, इतना मारना, कि तुम्हारी जान को लगे, कि तुममे जान है. सही कहा कि नहीं. 

"itnaa maarnaa, itnaa maarnaa, ki tumhaarii jaan ko lage, ki tumme jaan hai"

barfii ke bahaane gangaa aur jamunaa ke sangam me.n chimat ke baiTh gayaa hai

Film : Mujhe Jeene Do

Year of release : 1963

Spoken by : Thakur Jarnail Singh (Sunil Dutt)

Spoken to : Chamelijaan (Waheeda Rahman)

Dialogue writer : Agha Jaani Kashmiri

A romantic scene between Thakur and Chameli after the two are married. She eats a piece of barfii and the silver foil sticks to her lips. Thakur sees this and remarks,

"isko kyaa haq thaa?"

She asks,

"kisko?"

He says

"chaandii ke is TukDe ko. jo barfii ke bahaane, gangaa aur jamunaa ke sangam me.n chimaT ke baiTh gayaa hai"

"चान्दी के इस टुकडे को. जो बर्फ़ी के बहाने, गंगा और जमुना के संगम में चिमट के बैठ गया है"

Nice prelude to a kiss. The best I have heard or seen in a Hindi film. 

nayaa nayaa driver bahut horn bajataa hai...

Film : Bardaasht

Year of release : 2004

Spoken by : Nagesh Bhonsle (Corrupt Lawyer and Lara Dutta's boss)

Spoken to : ACP Yashwant Thakur (Rahul Dev)

Dialogue writer : Girish Dhamija

Director E Niwas always makes films about the police force. This probably is his finest film. Three corrupt cops murder a college student in cold blood and then try to cover their tracks using their connections and clout. The brother of the deceased is an ex-army man and refuses to accept things lying down. He keeps at the case till the 3 are brought to book. 

As the story unfolds, Advocate Paayal (Lara Dutta) gets her petition against the corrupt cops accepted in the court. An angry Yashwant accosts his lawyer (who was earlier Paayal's boss) and says

"tu uska guru hai yaa woh teri guru"

"तू उसका गुरु है या वो तेरी गुरु"

Nagesh Bhonsle comes back with this line

"nayaa nayaa driver bahut horn bajataa hai, iskaa matlab yeh nahee.n ki vo race jeet jaayegaa"

"नया नया ड्राइवर बहुत हॉर्न बजाता है, इसका मतलब ये नहीं कि वो रेस जीत जाएगा"

vo to aaloo hai sabhee khaate hain

Film : Shagird 

Year of release : 2011

Spoken by : Hanumant Singh (Nana Patekar)

Spoken to : Mohit Kumar (Mohit Ahlawat)

Dialogue writer : Tigmanshu Dhulia/Kamal Pandey 

Senior inspector Hanumant is getting acquainted with new recruit Mohit. He does this with typical Delhi University style ragging. 

A mixture of some questions and some activities. One of his questions is,

"aur kyaa shauq paalte ho?"

Mohit says,

"cricket kheltaa hoo.n sir"

Hanumant responds in classic Nana style

"cricket me.n kyaa Khaas hai. vo to aaloo hai, sabhee khaate hai.n"

"क्रिकेट में क्या ख़ास है. वो तो आलू है, सभी खाते हैं."

The ragging continues after that, but I quite liked the likening of a very common thing to potatoes in this manner. Of course, Nana's style makes the line sound better. 

And Shaagird was certainly more watchable than all the 100 crore movies of 2011 put together. These days when I have to damn a movie, shred it to pieces – all I tell my friends is that this is a 100 crores grosser. ZNMD doesn’t do 100 crores, but Bodyguard, Ready, Ra One, Don 2 and Agnipath do! So next time I refer to a movie as a 100 crores grosser – read between the lines :)

ye us waqt tak tumhaarii beTii naheen kahlaayee jaa saktii, jab tak ... tum mere koThe se iskaa Dolaa nahee.n uThvaaoge

Film : Paakeezaah
Year of release : 1972
Spoken by : Nawaabjaab (Veena)
Spoken to : Shahaabuddin (Ashok Kumar)
Dialogue writer : Kamaal Amrohi


The climax of the classic Pakeezah. Shahaabuddin is shot by his father Hakim Saahab (Sapru). Salim (Raj Kumar) comes running and puts Shahabuddin's head in his lap. 
Shahabuddin tells him "saleem ye meri beTi hai"
Nawaabjaan says


"nahee.n shahaabuddin, ye abhii tak sirF nargis kee beTii hai, ye us waqt tak tumhaarii beTii nahee.n kahlaayee jaa saktii, jab tak, ek baaraat ise byaahne nahee.n aayegii. aur tum mere koThe se iskaa Dolaa nahee.n uThvaaoge"
"नहीं शहाबुद्दीन, ये अभी तक सिर्फ़ नरगिस की बेटी है, ये उस वक़्त तक तुम्हारी बेटी नहीं कहलायी जा सकती, जब तक, एक बारात इसे ब्याहने नहीं आयेगी. और तुम मेरे कोठे से इसका डोला नहीं उठवाओगे."

Draamebaaz hai.n saale sab ke sab

Film : Maachis

Year of release : 1996

Spoken by : Commander (Kulbhushan Kharbanda)

Spoken to : Sanatan (Om Puri)

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

I love the way Kulbhushan chews every words and then spits it out.

The commander of the terrorist force spends most of his day at office driving a truck. His team members get into the truck, take orders and disperse after that. In one such transaction, Sanatan gets into his truck, and Commander tells him that Kedar Nath (a political leader) is visiting their town Manikaran on 13th March. Commander tells him that he is the same leader, who was an accused (as a ringleader) in the '84 Delhi riots. He had now become an MP and a central minister. Sanatan enquires whether he is the same leader  who had once been attacked by their group member Jimmy (Jimmy Shergill).  Commander replies in the affirmative and tells him that Kedar Nath was visiting a religious shrine to pay his respects. It is of course hypocritical, because he led mobs to murder many people of a particular religion and later when he becomes a minister, he goes to the religious shrines of the same religion. "To pay respects"! Commander comments on this action of Kedar Nath with a cynical line, before getting into the details of the plot to assassinate Kedar Nath.

"Draamebaaz hai.n saale sab ke sab. Acting karte rahte hai.n"

"ड्रामेबाज़ हैं साले सब के सब. ऍक्टिंग करते रहते हैं"

When I see the politicians and their day to day acts, I am often reminded of this line from Maachis.