Draamebaaz hai.n saale sab ke sab

Film : Maachis

Year of release : 1996

Spoken by : Commander (Kulbhushan Kharbanda)

Spoken to : Sanatan (Om Puri)

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

I love the way Kulbhushan chews every words and then spits it out.

The commander of the terrorist force spends most of his day at office driving a truck. His team members get into the truck, take orders and disperse after that. In one such transaction, Sanatan gets into his truck, and Commander tells him that Kedar Nath (a political leader) is visiting their town Manikaran on 13th March. Commander tells him that he is the same leader, who was an accused (as a ringleader) in the '84 Delhi riots. He had now become an MP and a central minister. Sanatan enquires whether he is the same leader  who had once been attacked by their group member Jimmy (Jimmy Shergill).  Commander replies in the affirmative and tells him that Kedar Nath was visiting a religious shrine to pay his respects. It is of course hypocritical, because he led mobs to murder many people of a particular religion and later when he becomes a minister, he goes to the religious shrines of the same religion. "To pay respects"! Commander comments on this action of Kedar Nath with a cynical line, before getting into the details of the plot to assassinate Kedar Nath.

"Draamebaaz hai.n saale sab ke sab. Acting karte rahte hai.n"

"ड्रामेबाज़ हैं साले सब के सब. ऍक्टिंग करते रहते हैं"

When I see the politicians and their day to day acts, I am often reminded of this line from Maachis. 

aur meri bhee tabeeyat kucchh Theek naheen rahtii

Film : Mere Apne

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Biloki Prasad (Asit Sen)

Spoken to : Audience at political meeting

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

It is election time and the two rival candidates are Biloki Prasad and Anokhe Lal (Mehmood). The former is assisted by Shyam (Vinod Khanna) and the latter by Chhainoo (Shatrughan Sinha). Asit Sen, who is normally parodied by most mimicry artistes for his peculiar style of dialogue delivery and his girth, is also a very good actor with excellent comic timing. See this film (or rather this scene), for evidence  of that. So in this political meeting, our great politician starts speaking. And what does he say,

"bhaiyo aur behno desh ke bahut bure din aa gaye hain"

"भाईओ और बहनो, देश के बहुत बुरे दिन आ गए हैं"

"aaj hamaare beech panDit jee naheen hain ...neta ji naheen hain...gandhiji naheen hain..."

"आज हमारे बीच पंडित जी नहीं हैं...नेता जी नहीं हैं...गान्धी जी नहीं हैं..."

Then he takes a pause for effect and delivers the punch line. 

"aur meri bhee tabeeyat kucchh Theek naheen rahtii"

"और मेरी भी तबीयत कुछ ठीक नहीं रहती"

Asit Sen's delivery of this line has made this line walk into this blog. Otherwise I generally avoid joke punchlines. 

This is also a famous technique used in sales - called equation by association. If one goes to buy a TV,  the shopkeeper will say something like...

Sir this is Sony TV. Costs 20k. This is Panasonic. Costs 19.5k. And this is Pappu TV. This costs 16k. 

chowkidaar kabhee aurat dekhe hai.n

Film : Hip Hip Hurray

Year of release : 1984

Spoken by : Sandeep Chaudhary (Raj Kiran)

Spoken to : Anuradha Roy (Deepti Naval) 

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

There were recent articles about Raj Kiran surfacing in some mental asylum somewhere and that reminded me of this film and then of this line. This film ranks among my all time favourite youth/sports films. Sandeep and Anuradha are both teachers in a school in Ranchi. Sandeep is the sports teacher and Anuradha the history teacher. They bond with each other. Once when they are out for a cup of coffee, Sandeep pays the bill. Anuradha protests saying that women are equal to men in all aspects and they can do everything that men can. Sandeep accepts the fact that women are equally capable, but also comes up with a quip which made me think three decades ago. It still makes me think. He says

'chowkidaar kabhee aurat dekhe hai.n'

'चौकीदार कभी औरत देखे हैं'

Interestingly I have seen women police personnel, army personnel, pilots, doctors even auto drivers and bus conductors. But never a chowkidaar. If you have do let me know. 

ek zamaane me.n ye kaam naaii kiyaa karte the

Film : Anand

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Anand (Rajesh Khanna)

Spoken to : Renu's mother (Durga Khote)

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

Anand Sehgal is a friend who comes into Dr Bhaskar's life and tries to turn his staid life around. He finds out from Raghu Kaka (the family retainer) that there was a girl Renu, who was interested in his Babumoshaai (Dr Bhaskar). But since Bhaskar was too reticent, they had never progressed. He decides to take matters into his own hands and first extracts a confession from Bhaskar about the girl he likes. Then he engineers their meeting and declaration of love for each other. After ensuring that the fire has been suitably stoked from both sides, he directly reaches Renu's house. He meets Renu's mother and without beating about the bush, comes out with his proposal for marriage.

"maa.n jee mujhe aapse bahut zaroori kaam hai."

"kyaa kaam hai?"

"ek zamaane me.n ye kaam naaee kiyaa karte the maa.n jee. aajkal bhaaii karte hai.n

एक ज़माने में ये काम नाई किया करते थे माँ जी, आजकल भाई करते हैं."

"mai.n samjhee nahee.n "

"mai.n renu jee ke liye rishtaa lekar aayaa hoo.n, haa.n."

"mai.n unhe.n apnee bhaabhii banaanaa chaahtaa hoo.n "

moorakh mukhiyaa bhool kare aur bhugte saaraa gaao.n

Film : Mausam

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Harihar Thapa (Om Shivpuri)

Spoken to : Dr Amarnath Gill (Sanjeev Kumar)

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

Well I thought I must get this one in before Shahid Kapoor's Mausam releases :)

Though I am not partial to the 70s, I do feel that the quality of writers in that phase, will never be replicated. Rajinder Singh Bedi, Rahi Masoom Raza, Sachin Bhowmick, Salim Javed, Gulzar - all contemporaries! That is why neither the 50s nor the 60s nor the 80s and later appear as much as the 70s do on this blog. But on second thoughts probably I am biased :)

Mausam was a film based on AJ Cronin's 1961 story The Judas Tree. Kamleshwar is credited with the story, but then he did make substantial changes. Indian audiences would not have accepted Kajri getting married to Dr Gill. 

Amarnath is a medical student, who has come to Darjeeling to study. During one of his excursions, he slips over some stairs and falls. He manages to drag himselves to the nearest 'vaid' - Harihar Thapa. When Harihar hears how he slipped over the stairs, he comes up with this quip. The line is a reference to Amarnath's eyes (the mukhiya) whose fault leads to the entire body (saaraa gaao.n) suffering. 

"moorakh mukhiyaa bhool kare aur bhugte saaraa gaao.n"

"मूरख मुखिया भूल करे और भुगते सारा गांव" 

aaye to usse keh denaa Chhainuu aayaa thaa

Film : Mere Apne

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Chhainuu Laal  (Shatrughan Sinha)

Spoken to : Anandi Devi (Meena Kumari)
Dialogue writer : Gulzar

This is an all time classic line. The film is not so great. A remake of Tapan Sinha's Apon Jon. A youthful Shatru (Gambler is another film where you can see him at his youthful best, but this is a bigger role) and the very handsome Vinod Khanna pitted against each other.

Billoo (Dinesh Thakur) was abducted by Raghu (Asrani) who is part of the rival Chhainoo gang. Shyam (Vinod Khanna) goes and rescues him. Later Raghu is rounded up by Billoo and team, but they run away after seeing naani maa or Anandi (Meena Kumari). She takes Raghu home and tends to his wounded leg.

Since she stays in what is a  known hideout of Shyam's gang, Chhainoo and gang land up there to rescue Raghu. The moment he goes in, Raghu stands up and blurts out

"Chhainoo...Billoo .. aur uske saath do aur bhee the"
"छैनू...बिल्लू...और उसके साथ दो और भी थे"

Anandi  says,

"dost hai teraa?... aa baiTh"
"दोस्त है तेरा? ....आ बैठ"

A very angry Chhainoo says

"shaam kahaa.n hai"
"शाम कहां है?"

Anandi who has not really wisened up to the gangwars, naively says

"dekh naa beTe... ye laDke bahut laDte hain aapas me.n...tu to baDaa hai inme.n... inko samjhaataa kyo.n nahee.n...jaane kis baat pe kaTTi kiye baiThe hai.n...too baTTi karaa degaa to ye nahee.n laDenge"
"देख ना बेटे...ये लडके बहुत लडते हैं आपस में...तू तो बडा है इनमें...इनको समझाता क्यों नहीं...जाने किस बात पे कट्टी किये बैठे हैं...तू बट्टी करा देगा तो ये नहीं लडेंगे"

Though Chhainoo is surprised at this warmth, he still persists with

"shaam kahaa.n hai"
"शाम कहां है?"

"wo to biTToo ko lekar dawaakhaane gayaa hai"
"वो तो बिट्टू को लेकर दवाखाने गया है"

"aaye to usse keh denaa chhainoo aayaa thaa...bahut garmee hai khoon me.n to beshaq aa jaaye maidaan me.n..jo hasrat nikaalnee ho wo nikaal le wo, lekin aaindaa...mere kisii laDke ko haath lagaayaa to muhalle kaa muhallaa uDaa ke rakh doo.nga"
"आये तो उससे कह देना छैनू आया था...बहुत ग़र्मी है ख़ून में तो बेशक़ आ जाये मैदान में ...जो हसरत निकालनी हो वो निकाल ले वो...लेकिन आइन्दा मेरे किसी लडके को हाथ लगाया तो मुहल्ले का मुहल्ला उडा के रख दूंगा"

The trade mark rub of the left side of the neck with the right hand today defines any sketch of Shatrughan Sinha. And yes this dialogue too...though many artists use a variant of this 

"Shyaam se kehnaa Chhainoo aayaa thaa. "

But the actual line is,

"aaye to usse keh denaa Chhainuu aayaa thaa"

"आये तो उससे कह देना छैनू आया था"