You will be 'suee' I will be 'suar'

Film : Kambakkht Ishq

Year of release : 2009

Spoken by : KeswaNi (Javed Jaffrey)

Spoken to : Hot Dog Stall owner (Bill Marinella)

This is such a crap film that I can't even tell you. But I found this very interesting and funny line which I thought I should share. It is a great take on the lessor-lessee or mortgagor-mortgagee kind of terms that are used in financial sector. I have spent my entire life in the financial sector and I found this dig at these legal-financial terms very droll.

This film of course is a shameless copy of the 2002 Tamil superhit Pammal K Sambandham which had superb writing by Crazy Mohan and superb acting by Kamalahaasan. In the original there is a character of a person who is very fond of going to the consumer court for everything. This character is played by Madan Bob. A similar character is fleshed out in KI, with Javed Jaffrey doing the honours.

He goes to a hot dog stall owner and buys a hot dog for 2 dollars. Then he fishes out a needle (or suee) and claims that he found the needle inside the hotdog. He threatens to sue the hot dog stall owner. Using a delightful pun he says

"You will be 'suee' I will be 'suar'"

Barsaat ki pehli boond ko tapti hui zameen par gir kar fana honaa hi paRtaa hai

Film : Ghulaami

Year of release : 1985

Spoken by : Sumitra (Smita Patil)

Spoken to : Ranjit Singh (Dharmendra)

Dialogue writer : OP Dutta

Ranjit Singh has become an outlaw. His childhood friend Sumitra tries to broker peace (she has now married a police officer) and arranges a meeting with Ranjit to try and convince him to give up the path of armed resistance. Ranjit Singh is reluctant to do so. Sumitra gives him the logic that is beautifully brought out in this quotation

"The trouble with being a pioneer is that you get shot by Red Indians"

She says

"Barsaat ki pehlii boond ko taptii huii zameen par gir kar fana honaa hi paRtaa hai'"

ek aap hai.n, ek saale vo the

Film : Sharaabi
Year of release : 1984
Spoken by : Vicky (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Sudhir and his gang

This is one of the most interesting sequences of the film. Sudhir and his gang of goons accost Vicky on his way and relieve him of his gold chain, wallet and other possessions. When he goes to a slightly lower class bar - he finds that Sudhir and his gang have also come there. He goes and tells them that they are all very 'shareef' i.e. decent and good people. However, he also says that he has been waylaid by a bunch of goons who have taken away his money and his gold chain.

"ek aap hai.n, ek saalo vo the"

A la Marc Antony, he gradually establishes the fact that the goons that he is referring to and the current lot of 'decent' men are the same. He bashes them up one by one. He keeps on repeating the line

"एक आप हैं, एक साले वो थे"

But not until he has collected a lot of applause from the front benchers and the back benchers.

zindagii me.n kis kambaKht ko maaloom hai ki vo kyaa kar rahaa hai

Film : Bazaar

Year of release : 1982

Spoken by : Najma (Smita Patil)

Spoken to : Her friend (Not known)

This film stands out for some great music by Khaiyyam. Shocking that it did not get any award, though it was nominated for the best music director award. Ironically it lost out to RD Burman's first ever Filmfare award, which is another story altogether.

Najma is living with Akhtar (Bharat Kapoor) who asks her to arrange the marriage of his rich patron in Hyderabad. So they all go to Hyderabad from Mumbai to look for a beautiful and poor girl. Their search narrows downs into Shabnam (Supriya Pathak) who is in love with Sarju (Faarooque Sheikh). Shabnam's family prefers the richer patron to the poor Sarju. When they go to Shabnam's house to take her measurements for the jewellery, Shabnam starts bawling and screaming. Najma's friend is shocked at the turn of events and asks Najma accusingly

"aap ye sab kyaa kar rahee.n hai.n Najma?"

Najma responds with the very philosophical one-liner

"zindagii me.n kis kambaKht ko maaloom hai ki vo kyaa kar rahaa hai"

"ज़िन्दगी में किस कम्बख़्त को मालूम है कि वो क्या कर रहा है"

kaun kambaKht hai jo bardaasht karne ke liye peetaa hi

Film : Devdas

Year of release : 1955

Spoken by : Devdas (Dilip Kumar)

Spoken to : Chandramukhi (Vyjayanthi Mala)

This is the real 'Devdas', not the bastardised glam version of SRK and Bhansali. I am not one of those who insists that the old is the real thing. In fact this film was made over two decades before my birth and I saw it over two decades after my birth, but I will surely put it above the SRK version. If you don't believe me, just search for this scene on youtube. Both the versions are available there. Go see it. Then read this post. But if you believe me, continue reading.

Devdas's father is on his death bed. He starts visiting Chandramukhi who is a prostitute. He has also started drinking. One such night, he is in a drunken stupor. Chandramukhi tries to stop him. She says

"aur mat piyo Devdas"

"kyo.n?" asks Devdas

"kucch hii din huye peenaa shuru kiye. Itnee zyaadaa bardaasht na kar sakoge"

"kaun kambaKht hai jo bardaasht karne ke liye peetaa hai. Mai.n to peetaa hoo.n ke...bas saa.ns le sakoo.n...aur...aisee jagah se uTh kar jaane kee taaqat nahee.n hai naa...tabhii to yahaa.n paDaa rahtaa hoo.n...bas...dekhtaa rahtaa hoo.n tumhaare mu.nh kee taraf...to bhii mai.n bilkul behosh nahee.n hotaa...kucch hosh rah hee jaataa hai...hosh se kah do...kabhii hosh naa aane paaye...

Chandramukhi says, "yahaa.n aise log bhee aate hai.n Devdas, jo sharaab ko chhoote bhee nahee.n

Devdas : chhote bhee nahee.n? mere paas bandook ho to mai.n unhe golii se uDaa doo.n. vo log mujh se bhii baDe paapii hai.n Chandramukhi. Pahle to mai.n sharaab peenaa chhoDoongaa nahee.n. aur agar chhoD diyaa to phir yahaa.n kabhii nahee.n aaoongaa. kabhii nahee.n aoongaa. meraa to ilaaj hai. lekin un logo.n ka kyaa hogaa ...jo peete bhii nahee.n. aur phir bhii yahaa.n aate hai.n

If you watch the video, also watch for these great lines...

"mat chhuo...haath mat lagaao mujhe Chandramukhi...ab bhii kucch hosh baaqii hai"

"pal bhar me.n sab kucch Khatam ho gayaa. woh shaadii ke raaste pe chal di aur mai.n barbaadii ke raaste par"

lagtaa hai saarii Mumbai ke baaG noch Daale aapne

Film : Maqbool

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Nimma (Tabu)

Spoken to : Maqbool (Irfan Khan)

Maqbool is supervising the arrangements for Abbaji's daughter Sameera's wedding. When Nimma comes to the house and sees Maqbool supervising the flower decoration arrangement, she comments

"lagtaa hai saarii Mumbai ke baaG noch Daale aapne"

"लगता है सारी मुम्बई के बाग़ नोच डाले आपने"

There is a lot of sexual tension in this scene. Nimma is teasing him, praising him, complaining about him - almost all at once. All the actors in this film have done a fabulous job. I still believe this is Vishal Bharadwaj's best film till date.

Ilaaqaa tumhaaraa hai aur maiN akelaa hooN

Film: Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Sher Khan (Pran)

If you have been following this blog, then you would have read other interesting posts from this film. If you haven't, I suggest you go to the labels section and click on Zanjeer and read all the posts before reading this.

Vijay goes to Sher Khan's area in response to the challenge that he had thrown to him at the police station. Sher Khan had said that Vijay's arrogance was due to his uniform and his position. Vijay is obviously eager to dispel this notion. So he reaches in mufti at Sher Khan's joint and says,

"yehee hai vo ilaaqaa, jahaan log tumheN jaante hain? Sher Khan ab na to vardi hai na kursi aur naa hee mai duty par hooN"

And polishes off his dramatic entry with a counter challenge (in what would later become the characteristic angry young man style) -

"ilaaqaa tumhaara hai aur maiN akelaa hooN"

"इलाक़ा तुम्हारा है और मैं अकेला हूं"