hamee.n hum hai.n to kyaa hum hai.n tumhee.n tum ho to kyaa tum ho

Film : Sharmilee

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Captain Ajit Kapoor (Shashi Kapoor)

Spoken to : Colleagues at army mess
Dialogue writer : Vrajendra Gaur

This line is actually from a famous Urdu couplet written by the poet Sarshaar. The full couplet which gets quoted in the movie is 

chaman mein iKhtilaat-e-rang-o-buu se baat bantii hai 

hamii.n ham hai.n to kyaa ham hai.n, tumhee.n tum ho to kyaa tum ho

चमन में इख़्तिलात ए रंगो बू से बात बनती है

हमीं हम हैं तो क्या हम हैं, तुम्हीं तुम हो तो क्या तुम हो

The situation is that a few army men are sitting and drinking in the mess. Two of them get into an argument on some small issue. This dialogue marks Shashi's entry in the film, so to defuse the situation he says this couplet.

The amalgamation of various colours and fragrances makes a garden what it is

if it was just your kind or just my kind of fragrances and colours it won't be the same thing

A great line to break up an argument. 

The film by the way has an amazing score by SD Burman. I get gooseflesh just by writing about it. One of his best work for non-Dev Anand, non-Ashok Kumar films. Abhimaan would also rank in that league. Coming back as he was after a debilitating illness, it would have given him a lot of self confidence too. Else it could be quite depressing being unfavourably compared to your one and only son. 

Main aaj se Grihshobha chhoR ke Cosmo paRhoo.ngaa

Film: Housefull
Year of release : 2010
Spoken by : Aarush (Akshay Kumar)
Spoken to : Saundarya Bhagyalakshmi Venkateshwari Basappa Rao aka Sandy (Deepika Padukone)
Dialogue writer : Anvita Dutt Guptan

Here is another director who started out by criticising films (like Khalid Mohammad and Kunal Kohli) and ending up worse than the films he criticised. He should have stuck to being a critic. Housefull was hyped by Sajid Khan as the biggest hit in 2010 - three weeks before the film was released. Sajid said he was interested only in the audience reaction and the audience would surely love his film as he had put the right formulaic elements in the film. He started his film with a dedication to Prakash Mehra, Manmohan Desai, K Raghavendra Rao etc who he seems to hold in high esteem. Three days after the film started slipping at the box office, he released a full page ad saying that all critics had rated the film very well. Talk about volte face. I really get peeved when someone tries to show integrity and character and then does something really petty. I find his sister's films far more honest and funny. This man is what we call in Delhi lingo as a 'sude' - short for pseudo intellectual. But enough of my anger against this man who is so undeserving of it. Probably I feel thus because I paid good money to buy a DVD of this awful and atrocious film. Our film industry managed to burn the prints of Alam Ara. They should use this talent for this film as well. Okay okay no more.

This is an attempt by Sajid Khan to merge the audiences of a high brow magazine like Cosmopolitan with the lower middle class vernacular audience of Grihshobha (so he says himself). But I found this one rare funny moment in this galactically mindless movie.

Sandy falls for Aarush because she thinks that his wife is dead and feels guilty about having slapped him. Aakhri pasta (Chunky Pandey) told her this lie.


However Aarush never told her a lie, he was trying to drown himself in the ocean because his wife left him on he night of the honeymoon. when Devika (Jiah Khan), Aarush's wife,  meets Aarush, he asks for the divorce papers. Sandy realises that Aarush's wife is alive. She goes away in a huff.

Aarush again heads towards the ocean. Ostensibly to drown himself. His friend Babu Rao (Ritesh Deishmukh) and his wife Hetal (Lara Dutta) send him to go after Sandy and win her over.

He goes to the room and Sandy refuses to open. However Aarush tries to maneuver through the next room balcony into Sandy's room.

He slips and is about to fall. Sandy sees it on tv and pulls him up after she realises that Aarush is telling the truth and mischief monger was pasta.

She says that she had read somewhere that if one saves someone his or her life belongs to the saver and not to the person and hence Aarush's life belonged to her.

they hug and make up. then Aarush in a classic comedic moment asks her where did you read that

sandy pauses and says - "In last month's Cosmo"

Aarush says - "I love Cosmo"

and follows that up with the clincher,

"main aajse Grihshobha chhoR ke Cosmo padhoongaa"

The full exchange

"Ab tumhaari jaan tumhaari nahiin. ab tumhaari jaan meri hai, aur tumhe koii haq nahiin bantaa use ganwaane kaa"
"I love you"
"Vaise tumne paRha kahaan thaa"
"pichle maheene ke Cosmo me.n"
"I love Cosmo"
"main aajse Grihshobha chhoR ke Cosmo paRhoongaa"

aaye to usse keh denaa Chhainuu aayaa thaa

Film : Mere Apne

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Chhainuu Laal  (Shatrughan Sinha)

Spoken to : Anandi Devi (Meena Kumari)
Dialogue writer : Gulzar

This is an all time classic line. The film is not so great. A remake of Tapan Sinha's Apon Jon. A youthful Shatru (Gambler is another film where you can see him at his youthful best, but this is a bigger role) and the very handsome Vinod Khanna pitted against each other.

Billoo (Dinesh Thakur) was abducted by Raghu (Asrani) who is part of the rival Chhainoo gang. Shyam (Vinod Khanna) goes and rescues him. Later Raghu is rounded up by Billoo and team, but they run away after seeing naani maa or Anandi (Meena Kumari). She takes Raghu home and tends to his wounded leg.

Since she stays in what is a  known hideout of Shyam's gang, Chhainoo and gang land up there to rescue Raghu. The moment he goes in, Raghu stands up and blurts out

"Chhainoo...Billoo .. aur uske saath do aur bhee the"
"छैनू...बिल्लू...और उसके साथ दो और भी थे"

Anandi  says,

"dost hai teraa?... aa baiTh"
"दोस्त है तेरा? ....आ बैठ"

A very angry Chhainoo says

"shaam kahaa.n hai"
"शाम कहां है?"

Anandi who has not really wisened up to the gangwars, naively says

"dekh naa beTe... ye laDke bahut laDte hain aapas me.n...tu to baDaa hai inme.n... inko samjhaataa kyo.n nahee.n...jaane kis baat pe kaTTi kiye baiThe hai.n...too baTTi karaa degaa to ye nahee.n laDenge"
"देख ना बेटे...ये लडके बहुत लडते हैं आपस में...तू तो बडा है इनमें...इनको समझाता क्यों नहीं...जाने किस बात पे कट्टी किये बैठे हैं...तू बट्टी करा देगा तो ये नहीं लडेंगे"

Though Chhainoo is surprised at this warmth, he still persists with

"shaam kahaa.n hai"
"शाम कहां है?"

"wo to biTToo ko lekar dawaakhaane gayaa hai"
"वो तो बिट्टू को लेकर दवाखाने गया है"

"aaye to usse keh denaa chhainoo aayaa thaa...bahut garmee hai khoon me.n to beshaq aa jaaye maidaan me.n..jo hasrat nikaalnee ho wo nikaal le wo, lekin aaindaa...mere kisii laDke ko haath lagaayaa to muhalle kaa muhallaa uDaa ke rakh doo.nga"
"आये तो उससे कह देना छैनू आया था...बहुत ग़र्मी है ख़ून में तो बेशक़ आ जाये मैदान में ...जो हसरत निकालनी हो वो निकाल ले वो...लेकिन आइन्दा मेरे किसी लडके को हाथ लगाया तो मुहल्ले का मुहल्ला उडा के रख दूंगा"

The trade mark rub of the left side of the neck with the right hand today defines any sketch of Shatrughan Sinha. And yes this dialogue too...though many artists use a variant of this 

"Shyaam se kehnaa Chhainoo aayaa thaa. "

But the actual line is,

"aaye to usse keh denaa Chhainuu aayaa thaa"

"आये तो उससे कह देना छैनू आया था"

Main to inko tabse jaantaa hoon jab inke baal safed the

Film : Jeenaa Yahaan

Year of release :  1979

Spoken by : Umesh (Unknown)

Spoken to : Shekhar (Shekhar Kapur)
Dialogue writer : Basu Chatterjee

Shekhar Kapur did a few films with his then girl friend Shabana Azmi. Jeena Yahaan was one of them. Very rarely do real life couples have online chemistry. Dharam-Hema and Rishi-Neetu notable exceptions. Shabana and Shekhar too dont have much going by way of chemistry. Anyways the film was a Basu Chatterjee film. And hence I had to see it. Nothing much to recommend in the movie though. Even Salilda's music was stale. But I love this line.

Shekhar is helping to organise a function marking the inauguration of a new venture of one of his friends. Another friend Umesh (unknown actor and a new member of the group) is also helping out. Mr Mathur (R S Chopra) arrives with his family just then.  Shekhar welcomes him and introduces Mr. Mathur to Umesh.

Shekhar: Umesh, Mathur ko pehchaante ho? उमेश, माथुर को पहचानते हो?

(To Mathur) Umesh, hamaare group kaa nayaa member hai. उमेश, हमारे ग्रूप का नया मॅम्बर है.

Umesh: Mathur ko kaun nahii.n pehchaantaa. Main to inko tabse jaantaa hoon jab inke baal safed the. Kaale to ab huye hain. माथुर को कौन नहीं पह्चानता. मैं तो इनको तबसे जानता हूं जब इनके बाल सफ़ेद थे. काले तो अब हुये हैं

Guffaws and twitters all around and a very red faced Mathur. Good line Mr. Chatterjee. Well done! Can't say that for the rest of the film though.

I'll sue you all in American court

Film : 3 Idiots

Year of release : 2009

Spoken by :  Chatur Ramalingam (Omi Vaidya)

Spoken to : Farhan and Raju (Madhavan and Sharman)
Dialogue writer : Rajkumar Hirani and Abhijat Joshi

The climax of this all time classic - Farhan and Raju are looking for Rancho and when Chatur calls them, they think they have finally found him. But the search turns out to be longer. They are forced to go to Manali and finally to Ladakh. Chatur has an important meeting and refuses to go. Farhan and Raju gag him, tie him up and forcibly take him along. When they reach the home stretch (the beautiful raw beauty of Ladakh), they untie him. As the gag comes off, the first thing that Chatur says ;

"I'll sue you all in American court"

A great line which in one fell swoop trashes the Indian legal system (and rightly so) and communicates the options available with Chatur. Given the Indian legal system and its long pendency, it is an empty threat - if you say "I will sue you". Because the eventual victory (if at all) would by Pyrrhic at best. Now, thanks to this line, this threat suddenly gets potent. So next time, someone has dealt fraudulently or unfairly with you, use this new threat. 

Ek aur ghaRii bhii to hai jo peT me.n chaltii hai

Film: Kinara

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Aarti Sanyal (Hema Malini)

Spoken to : Inderjeet (Jeetender)

Actually the 'spoken to' column should say Prakash, because Aarti thinks she is speaking to Prakash, though it is actually Inderjeet. I was reminded of this film recently because the story of the recent Lafangey Parindey is loosely based on Kinara. Though I must add a caveat that I have not seen Lafangey Parindey and hence this need not be taken as authoritative. But I have seen Kinara. It is one of Gulzar's forgettable films with absolutely unforgettable music by RD Burman. Very slow and boring film. No performances worth speaking. Though Hema's dancing skills seem well exploited. But the music is worth its weight in gold.

Coming back to the line, Prakash/Inderjeet drops Aarti (who is blind) home after a visit to the church. As Inderjeet is about to take leave of her, she says, it is already 6 pm, so he might as well have tea before leaving. Inder wonders aloud as to how she knows the time.

I thought she would say 'braille watch' or something like that. But the answer surprised me. I liked it as well. So here it is - for your reading pleasure.

"एक और घड़ी भी तो है जो पेट में चलती है" 

"Ek aur ghaRii bhii to hai jo peT me.n chaltii hai"

I don't remember any other Hindi film dialogue that refers to the body clock!