aur kisee ko chaahiye promotion

Film : Dabangg

Year of release : 2010

Spoken by : Chulbul Pandey (Salman Khan)

Spoken to : His team of policemen

Dialogue writer : Dilip Shukla and Abhinav Singh Kashyap

Chulbul Pandey has led his team in a raid to catch the daring daylight robbers of the Bank of Uttar Pradesh. When I say led, I mean he does it single handedly. His team arrives just in time to share the spoils. This is the interesting team meeting that happens post the capture of the robbers. The character of Constable Chaubey is played by Ram Sujan in the film. 

Chaubey ji : namaste saahab. ham sab bandobast pe haazir hai.n. kahaa.n hai.n haraamzaade.

Chulbul : haraamzaade se yaad aayaa Chaubey ji, aapake aadaraNeeya pitaashree aajkal kaise hai.n

jii Theek hai.n sir

good. Dakait andar paDe hai.n. ghaayal hai.n bechaaro.n ko chhoD do.

Chaubey ji : chhoD de.n?! lekin hamko phir promotion kaise milegaa sir?

Chulbul : ham bataate hai.n naa Chaubey ji. report likhiye, ke police ne Dakaito.n ko gher liyaa thaa, golii baarii huee. cross firing ke andar hamaare ek naujawaan bahaadur sipaahii ko golii lag gayee. 

Chaubey ji : golii lag gayii? lekin hamaare sab sipaahii surakshit hai.n sir.

Bang. Chaubey is shot in the right arm by Chulbul. 

Chulbul : kisko golii lagii chaubeyji

Chaubey ji : hamko hamko sir.

Chulbul : aur kisii ko chaahiye promotion.

और किसी को चाहिये प्रोमोशन.

Another constable : nahee.n sir. nahee.n sir. aglee baar. aglee baar. 

I was very tempted to put up this line as the main one. ' aglee baar. aglee baar'. But then I don't know who that character is. So I am taking the easy way out and crediting it to the more famous actor. 

ek to in logo.n ne 'Devdas' ka remake banaa banaa ke bachcho.n ke dimaaG kaa satyaanaash kar diyaa hai

Film : Break Ke Baad

Year of release : 2010

Spoken by : Pammi Gulati (Lillette Dubey)

Spoken to : Abhay Gulati (Imran Khan)

Dialogue writer : Renuka Kunzru

Please don't see this film just because this dialogue is being featured. I try to make the most of adverse situations. But this film was an extremely adverse situation. Anyway, this very complex film has the hero and heroine being great buddies, then breaking up, then realising that they were actually lovers. Brilliant. I should never have started this post. Let me get this over soon.

A heartbroken Abhay is speaking to his aunt Pammi. And he tells her that he cannot love ever again. Pammi is a more pragmatic woman, who urges him to move on with life. She is quite upset to hear this from Abhay and responds with this line.

"ek to in logo.n ne 'Devdas' ka remake banaa banaa ke bachcho.n ke dimaaG kaa satyaanaash kar diyaa hai"

"एक तो इन लोगों ने देवदास का रीमेक बना बना के बच्चों के दिमाग़ का सत्यानाश कर दिया है.

Yeah I too have wondered why has this story been remade so many times. You can see on the right hand side, even on this blog, for the last many months, the most popular dialogue has been the one from Devdas. 

baDhee huee tulsii dikhtee hai. bahen nahee.n dikhtii

Film : City of Gold - Mumbai 1982 : Ek Ankahee Kahaani

Year of release : 2010

Spoken by : Manju Dhuri (Veena Jamkar)

Spoken to : Mohan Dhuri (Vineet Kumar)

Dialogue writer : Abhijit Deshpande

A story of the mill workers who suffered while Mumbai prospered. One of the suffering families has the twenty-something girl Manju giving into the wiles of the neighbourhood baniya's son. Everyday in the morning she goes out into the balcony, and  on the pretext of watering the tulsi (basil) plant, also feeds her romance with the baniya's son in the store across the street. In return she gets a waiver on the family's food bill and a gold chain too. When her mother Lakshmi (Seema Biswas) notices this chain, she asks Manju about its provenance. Manju says that it is artificial jewellery. Her cricket crazy elder brother Mohan comments (after Lakshmi has left)

'naqlii nahee.n lagtee ye chain'

Manju says

'aslee laane ke liye paise kahaa.n se laaoo.n'

Mohan quips (with a none-too veiled reference to her daily morning dalliance)

'baahar kee tulsii apne aap nahee.n baDh rahee hai'

Hindi films do not give too many great lines to women characters. This will rank among them even after ten years. Make that 20 (India is not going to change in a hurry)

Manju says

"baDhee huee tulsee dikhtee hai. bahen nahee.n dikhtee. besharam'

"बढी हुई तुलसी दिखती है. बहन नहीं दिखती. बेशरम." 

in an obvious reference to the elder brother having failed in his duty of marrying off his sister and hence having lost the right to make such wisecracks.

Main aaj se Grihshobha chhoR ke Cosmo paRhoo.ngaa

Film: Housefull
Year of release : 2010
Spoken by : Aarush (Akshay Kumar)
Spoken to : Saundarya Bhagyalakshmi Venkateshwari Basappa Rao aka Sandy (Deepika Padukone)
Dialogue writer : Anvita Dutt Guptan

Here is another director who started out by criticising films (like Khalid Mohammad and Kunal Kohli) and ending up worse than the films he criticised. He should have stuck to being a critic. Housefull was hyped by Sajid Khan as the biggest hit in 2010 - three weeks before the film was released. Sajid said he was interested only in the audience reaction and the audience would surely love his film as he had put the right formulaic elements in the film. He started his film with a dedication to Prakash Mehra, Manmohan Desai, K Raghavendra Rao etc who he seems to hold in high esteem. Three days after the film started slipping at the box office, he released a full page ad saying that all critics had rated the film very well. Talk about volte face. I really get peeved when someone tries to show integrity and character and then does something really petty. I find his sister's films far more honest and funny. This man is what we call in Delhi lingo as a 'sude' - short for pseudo intellectual. But enough of my anger against this man who is so undeserving of it. Probably I feel thus because I paid good money to buy a DVD of this awful and atrocious film. Our film industry managed to burn the prints of Alam Ara. They should use this talent for this film as well. Okay okay no more.

This is an attempt by Sajid Khan to merge the audiences of a high brow magazine like Cosmopolitan with the lower middle class vernacular audience of Grihshobha (so he says himself). But I found this one rare funny moment in this galactically mindless movie.

Sandy falls for Aarush because she thinks that his wife is dead and feels guilty about having slapped him. Aakhri pasta (Chunky Pandey) told her this lie.


However Aarush never told her a lie, he was trying to drown himself in the ocean because his wife left him on he night of the honeymoon. when Devika (Jiah Khan), Aarush's wife,  meets Aarush, he asks for the divorce papers. Sandy realises that Aarush's wife is alive. She goes away in a huff.

Aarush again heads towards the ocean. Ostensibly to drown himself. His friend Babu Rao (Ritesh Deishmukh) and his wife Hetal (Lara Dutta) send him to go after Sandy and win her over.

He goes to the room and Sandy refuses to open. However Aarush tries to maneuver through the next room balcony into Sandy's room.

He slips and is about to fall. Sandy sees it on tv and pulls him up after she realises that Aarush is telling the truth and mischief monger was pasta.

She says that she had read somewhere that if one saves someone his or her life belongs to the saver and not to the person and hence Aarush's life belonged to her.

they hug and make up. then Aarush in a classic comedic moment asks her where did you read that

sandy pauses and says - "In last month's Cosmo"

Aarush says - "I love Cosmo"

and follows that up with the clincher,

"main aajse Grihshobha chhoR ke Cosmo padhoongaa"

The full exchange

"Ab tumhaari jaan tumhaari nahiin. ab tumhaari jaan meri hai, aur tumhe koii haq nahiin bantaa use ganwaane kaa"
"I love you"
"Vaise tumne paRha kahaan thaa"
"pichle maheene ke Cosmo me.n"
"I love Cosmo"
"main aajse Grihshobha chhoR ke Cosmo paRhoongaa"