baap ne maarii me.nRhakii beTaa teerandaaz

Film : Prem Rog
Year of release : 1982
Spoken by : Radha's mother in law (Dina Pathak)
Spoken to : Radha's husband (Rajinder Nath)

Radha (Kiran Vairale) is Manorama's (Padmini Kolhapure) childhood friend. She gets married to Rajinder Nath and keeps him under her thumb. In one scene, Radha's husband comes in to the house looking for her. He sees his mother and asks her where Radha is. His mother is disgusted with her son running around Radha all the time. So she says

"baap ne maarii me.nRhakii beTaa teerandaaz"
"बाप ने मारी मेंढकी बेटा तीरंदाज़"

gilauree khaayaa karo gulfaam, zabaan qaaboo me.n rahtii hai

Film : Maqbool
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Jahangir Khan (Pankaj Kapoor)
Spoken to : Jaywant Wadkar (Palekar)

Vishal Bharadwaj is fast on the way to becoming one of the greatest directors of Indian cinema, if his oeuvre continues to grow the way it is. Who would have thought that after listening to the Maachis soundtrack that behind this soundtrack is such a great director. There have been actors-turned director, editors turned director, cinematographer turned director, scriptwriter turned director, choreographer turned director, even lyricist turned director. Music directors have turned producer but never director. But this is the first instance of a music director who turned director. As they say, "der aayad durust aaye".

Jahangir Khan is a mafia don. Palekar is a local politician. Palekar goes to meet Jahangir Khan and offers to remove Chief Minister Bhonsle (Shammi Narang) provided Jahangir supports him. Jahangir is a strong believer in loyalties and is offended by this suggestion. But his face does not betray his thoughts. He calmly offers Palekar some 'paan'. Palekar refuses. Jahangir beckons Palekar closer. When he is close enough he pulls his head and thrusts a paan down his throat. Follows that up with this slam dunk line

"gilauree khaayaa karo gulfaam, zabaan qaaboo me.n rahtii hai"
"गिलौरी खाया करो गुलफ़ाम, ज़बान क़ाबू में रहती है"

aam kitnaa bhi baRaa ho jaaye rahegaa Daal ke neeche

Film : Jugaad
Year of release : 2009
Spoken by : Commissioner I M Gupta (Govind Namdeo)
Spoken to : Murli (Vijay Raaz)

This is a film with a great premise and some very good actors. It was based on the 'sealing drive' in Delhi in 2007. The producer of this film was ostensibly one of those 'law-breakers' who were running a commercial enterprise from a residential area. In this film, he tries to show himself as a victim. That is the greatness of the Delhiite. He will break all the laws and will further try to prove himself as the aggrieved party if anyone tries to enforce the law. So the producer tries to tell us that this entire country is hopeless corrupt and that his act was an innocent gaffe compared to the transgressions happening elsewhere. But I will rant about Delhi and its lack of ethics later. Meanwhile back at the ranch,

Murli is Sandiip's friend and colleague. He tries to ensnare the municipal commissioner Gupta by taking snaps of the man in what the media classically calls 'compromising position'. But the commissioner is one up on him. When Gupta has foiled Murli's ploy, he comes up with this line

"aam kitnaa bhi baRaa ho jaaye rahegaa Daal ke neeche"

"आम कितना भी बड़ा हो जाये रहेगा डाल के नीचे"

ek drink to dushman ke saath lete hai.n

Film : Jaane Tu...Yaa Jaane Na
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Mahesh (Rajat Kapoor)
Spoken to : Jai Rathore (Imran Khan)

Jai's girlfriend Meghna (Manjari Phadnis) takes him home. Over dinner, Jai realises that Meghna's parents {Mahesh (Rajat Kapoor) and Sheela (Kitu Gidwani)} have a dysfunctional relationship. Mahesh offers Jai a drink and Jai accepts. This is the new Bollywood. Such a thing would never have happened even in the 80s and 90s.

A girl brings her boyfriend home to dinner. The father offers him a drink. The boy accepts. They all drink together. Even the girl's mother. Wait there is more.

Mahesh offers Jai another drink. Jai (who I think feels enough customs have been broken in one film) declines. Mahesh comes up with this classic line.

"ye kaisaa laRkaa hai...ek drink to dushman ke saath lete hai.n"
"ये कैसा लड़का है...एक ड्रिंक तो दुश्मन के साथ लेते हैं"

A lot of friendships are formed over drinks and tobacco smoke. Having been a teetotaler and non-smoker all my life, I have missed out on a lot of such friendships. Did I write 'missed out on'? Changed that to 'spared of '.

jo log partyon meN alag thalag rehte haiN, woh aamtaur par bahut ziddii hote haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Mona (Bindu)

Teja is the crime don of the city. The new inspector in town is getting troublesome. Teja invites him to his party. A lavish party with booze and fine food flowing all around. He hopes to schmooze Vijay (Amitabh) into accepting his ways at this party. There is the typical cabaret number performed

"diljaloN kaa dil jalaa ke, kyaa milegaa dilrubaa"

After the song, Teja is talking with Mona. Teja says,

"acchhe khareedaar hamesha sauda karne se pehle, doosre kee qeemat kaa andaazaa lagaate haiN"

"अच्छे ख़रीदार हमेशा सौदा करने से पहले, दूसरे की क़ीमत का अन्दाज़ा लगाते हैं"

Mona asks him

"to kyaa andaazaa lagaayaa tumne"

Teja says,

"jahaaN tak meree zindagii kaa tajurbaa hai, jo log partyon meN alag thalag rehte haiN, woh aamtaur par bahut ziddii hote haiN"

"जहां तक मेरी ज़िन्दगी का तजरुबा है, जो लोग पार्टियों में अलग थलग रहते हैं, वो आमतौर पर बहुत ज़िद्दी होटल हैं"

I could not agree more with this. I myself am very stubborn and rarely mingle well at parties.

registaan me.n phool khilaa aur tu kehtaa hai colour kyaa hai!

Film : Kabul Express
Year of release : 2006
Spoken by : Jai Kapoor (Arshad Warsi)
Spoken to : Suhel Khan (John Abraham)

Kabul Express is based on the real life, post 9/11 experiences of debutant director Kabir Khan and his colleague Rajan Kapoor. Kabir Khan retains the surnames for the two protagonists in the film. I would say it is a different film, but not something I would recommend (I have a reputation to uphold).

Jai and Suhel are having dinner in Kabul when Reuters reporter Jessica Beckham (Linda Arsenio) joins them. Jai starts telling her that they have seen a Talib. Suhel stops him from talking about it. When they leave Suhel rebukes Jai for having been indiscrete about such a vital piece of information. Jai says

"kyaa maal hai yaar. isko saath nahee.n le jaa sakte?"

An angry Suhel retorts,

"tuu to saale Tharkee hai, goree dekhte hee phisal gayaa"

Jai makes a faux-protest against this morality attack. He says,

"registaan me.n phool khilaa aur tu kehtaa hai colour kyaa hai! itne dino.n baad to laRkii dekhee hai"
"रेगिस्तान में फूल खिला और तू कहता है कलर क्या है! इतने दिनों बाद तो लड़की देखी है"