dosti ka ek usool hai maDam no sorry no thank you

Film : Maine Pyaar Kiya

Year of release : 1989

Spoken by : Prem (Salman Khan)

Spoken to : Suman (Bhagyashree)
Dialogue writer : Sooraj R Barjatya

Extremely silly line, but I find a lot of people using it. This was Sooraj Barjatya's take on the tag line for the 1970 film Love Story - Love means never having to say you're sorry. 

Prem meets Suman at his house for the first time and she helps him to get rid of Seema (Pervin Dastur) who is trying to seduce him. When Suman picks up Prem's cap (which has fallen down) and hands it to him, he gives it back to her as a gift. Saying that they are friends since their parents are friends and ...some silly logic he gives. She also buys that logic and says thanks.

Our hero jumps to the occasion and says 

"dosti ka ek usool hai maDam no sorry no thank you"

"दोस्ती का एक उसूल है मैडम, नो सॉरी नो थॅंक यू"

kaunsaa cigarette laaoo.n aap ke liye

Film : Dil Tera Diwana

Year of release : 1962

Spoken by : Diwan Badriprasad acting as Raamdeen driver (Ulhaas)

Spoken to : Mohan and Anokhe (Shammi Kapoor and Mehmood)

Dialogue writer : Pa NeelakanTan and Inder Raj Anand

This was a remake of the 1958 Sivaji Ganesan comedy Sabaash Meena. Great music by Shankar Jaikishan. This scene has subsequently been repeated in various forms in many films. The father is a martinet (Diwan Badriprasad) and the son (Mohan ) seeks some freedom. One day the son plans to sneak away to watch a play with his friend (Anokhe). Diwan senses this and asks the driver to slip away and takes his place. Mohan and Anokhe are oblivious that the driver is in fact Mohan's father. Mohan continues to curse his lack of freedom. They finally ask the driver to go and buy some cigarettes. Diwan is initially shocked at being asked to do that but recovers and turns around and asks the two

"kaunsaa cigarette laaoo.n aap ke liye?"

"कौनसा सिगरेट लाऊँ आपके लिये?"

In unison, both Mohan and Anokhe say

"Five, Five ..." and as they are about to say the last 'five', they see the face of the driver and together jump out of the car window. 

Absolute copy of the Sivaji/Chandrababu/SV Ranga Rao scene and I found the original more delightful. 

woh RaavaN? aapko pareshaan kiyaa? abhii aap dekhnaa hum bhii usko pareshaan kartaa

Film: PaDosan

Year of release : 1968

Spoken by : Master Pillai (Mehmood)

Spoken to : Bindu (Saira Banu)

Dialogue writer : Rajendra Krishan (a rare combo of Rajendra Krishan as lyricist and RD Burman as MD)

This was one of my favourite films as I grew up. I did not see too many films in my first 25 years. This was one of the rare films that we saw in a theatre. The choice that day was between Haathi mere Saathi and PaDosan. And PaDosan was not my choice. I am so glad in retrospect that we did not go for Haathi mere Saathi. 

PaDosan is based on the Bangla film 'Paasher BaaRii" which means 'the house nearby'. Anjali Devi made it into a Tamil film in 1960. The Tamil version was called 'Adutha VeeTTuppeN" which means 'the girl next door'. 8 years later Mehmood (whose entire career is owed to Tamil films in general and Nagesh in particular) took this story and made into one of the lasting classics of Hindi films. 

I will not go into the details of the story. This scene happens when Bindu (Saira Banu) tries to get back at the 'boy next door' or 'uncleji next door' {considering Sunil Dutt was 'I am 38 trying to be 25' when this film was made} through her dance master. She wants her dance master to beat up the loafer next door who has been bothering her. The famous chaturnaar song - which is a competition between Vidyapathi (Kishore Kumar) playbacking for Bhola and Masterji - has already happened. Bhola won that round. 

Now all the provocation of Bindu is not able to get Masterji's anger to rise. She even questions his manhood. In response, Masterji coyly pleads guilty to being a man. Finally she invokes religion. Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. Religion probably is the first. She asks him that when Raavan took Sita away, what did Raam do? Masterji says - he goes to Lanka and defeats Raavan.

'...RaavaN ko aisaa glatten chop maaraa"

Bindu exults that the man has got it finally and quickly says

"haa.n... to tum ek aadmii ko nahee.n maar sakte..."

The now enlightened Masterji says these classic lines

"aiyyaiyyo, aisaa baat kyaaji... aap pehle kyuu.n nahee.n bolaa humko. "

"devii, woh RaavaN? aapko pareshaan kiyaa? abhii aap dekhnaa, hum bhii usko pareshaan kartaa"

and then the fantastic war cry (which means - oi raavan, come here you...)

"dey RaavaN inge vaa Daa nee!"

"अई अई यो, ऐसा बात क्या जी...आप पहले क्यूं नहीं बोला हमको.

देवी.. वो रावण? आपको परेशान किया? अभी आप देखना, हम भी उसको परेशान करता"

'डै रावण, इंगे वाडा नी!" 

Just like Hrishikesh Mukherjee has convinced an entire country that cancer (of any stage) is incurable, Mr Mehmood has convinced all North Indians that no South Indian can speak Hindi properly. But then that is the power of a character.